Poll: Suicide... Is it really our place to tell people whether or not to kill themselves?

[Dusquad]

A friend of mine really got the short end of the stick in life. His mom died when he was three and his dad is gone, probably drunk in some alley or in prison, he is living with his grandparents who really could give two shits about him, and to top it all off he is constantly kicked out of his home for the absolute most trivial and frivolous reasons. He has spent more nights on the street and in foster homes than we can count. His grandparents don't want him at all. His life pretty much sucks.

I am his best friend since a few years back when I helped him in a fight against a gang of punks from our rival school (I don't consider them a gang but they do). He has been spending the last few nights at my house because his grandparents pretty much threatened to give him back to his dad which is not an option at all. Tonight he came to me and thanked me for all I have done for him. I was pretty confused so I just said "You're welcome" and went on with my activity. He then bid me farewell and began walking away. When I stopped him to ask where he was going he said that he was off to go end it all. I was shocked. He never had these notions before. So I asked him "What are you talking about?". He said that he didn't wanna be a burden too anyone anymore.

I progressively tried to convince him not to go through with it. I used all the reasons in the book. When I was done with my side of the argument he finally decided to say something. He explained all the reasons why he should do it and why I shouldn't stop him... and it all made sense. Every word that came out of his mouth. He almost convinced me to let him do it.

I said the only thing that I could think of to him to try and convince him. I said "I would miss you man, you're my best friend and like a brother, I don't wanna lose you man."

He decided not to do it. But what he said shook me up a bit. What right did I have to stop him from ending something so bad. I don't think I should say any of this to people he knows or I would probably just embarrass him so I ask you. With the anonymity of the Escapist. What right did I have?

 

[Dags90]

No one has a right to compel someone out of suicide. They may have strong desires for them not to do such a thing, and can freely express those desires via conversation and public forum posts. I don't really have any problem with suicide as a practice, though I may dislike or disagree with individual decisions.

 

[awsome117]

Life...is a funny thing. It has twists and turns, bumps and holes littered about it. No one knows where ones life will take them, until they get to the end of it.

Basically, I doubt a person can say whether or not they should end their life, when they're smack dab in the middle of it. Time changes many things, and you never know what it can change next.

So no, I vote against suicide as most(MOST) people who have been "brought back" from a first suicide attempt, has tried it again.

 

[Gigaguy64]

No one has a "Right" to tell any one how to live their life or force them to change it.
That being said i would do anything i could to convince someone to not commit suicide.
Even if i had to call the police about it, Killing yourself is not the answer.

If a friend of mine was in that kind of situation id be there for him/her and make sure they knew that things CAN get better, only if they are willing to fight and not give up.

 

[Sinclair Solutions]

I once had a lecturer come to my school who was talking about suicide. He told us about a film he saw about the Golden Gate Bridge and all the suicides that happened there. One man who jumped and survived said that at the middle of his jump, he wished he had not jumped. That all his problems did not seem so innumerable. He could have just pushed right through, and he would have been fine.

Long story short, everyone should try and talk people out of killing themselves. Your friend has a poor life, but hopefully he will come out stronger for it. He should learn how to be a good parent so his kids don't face a similar situation. He should realize that he should do what ever he can to just get through the sadness. Get a hobby, see a therapist. He talked to you, and his problems didn't seems so huge anymore. Life is something precious. Any emotional problem one faces hopefully could be solved by some sort of therapy. I'd tell your friend to see a psychiatrist. Maybe you can offer to let him stay at your house.

 

[The Geek Lord]

It's their decision whether or not they want to kill themselves. It's my decision whether or not I'm going to try to stop them.

 

[AvsJoe]

Well, you did the right thing by trying to convince him not to do it and you would be an incredible person if you personally dedicated yourself to helping make his life better than it is. I emphasize your trying to help him and/or save him. If your friend is as sensible as you make him out to be then all he needs is a few good breaks and he'll be able to pull himself out of the rut he's currently stuck in. Try to help him as best you can right now (a good friend in these times of darkness may be just what he needs).

Hopefully I am getting my message across here.

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

What right did I have to stop him from ending something so bad. I don't think I should say any of this to people he knows or I would probably just embarrass him so I ask you. With the anonymity of the Escapist. What right did I have?

A person considering suicide may not be thinking clearly. Bad things happen that make people think they want to end it all-- but just because it's their life doesn't mean they're making a good decision. People make very bad, rash decisions all the time that they regret later, so if you are the type of person who likes to help their friends avoid making bad decisions, then you probably made a good choice.

I hesitate to say this because I really don't know anything about suicide, but probably a lot of people who claim to be contemplating suicide are really at the end of their ropes and desperately seeking emotional reinforcement and attention. Once you satisfy that psychological need they are probably more likely to rethink things.

 

[The Procrastinated End]

The thing is, yes it's their choice but you should make sure they're actually competent and not suffering from an illness and make sure something bad didn't just happen and thats why they want to.

 

[Misterian]

From what you're telling me, suicide might be a way out, but if I were him. I wouldn't do that unless there were no other options.

If there is anything else he could do, you could help him consider other options, divorce from grandparents, reporting them to the police, taking refuge in a safe house (if there is any in the neighborhood) until they decide to clean up their act o

Those are just some examples, my advice? ask your parents or anyone you know that might help.

In other words, don't tell him he should commit suicide if there might be other, more healthy things he could do.

 

[Judgement101]

First off: They way you worded the story was very good and it was one of the few starting posts that is more than 1 paragraph that I actually read.

OT:You did the right thing and keep helping him and try to get his life in shape, also DO NOT give him anti-depressants!(They give people more energy and if it doesn't undepress them then they actually commit suicide still) Just be a good friend and keep an eye on him. And try to stop people. People have reasons to live and it would be a waste to just die. (I'm not religious so this has nothing to do with any religion)

 

[wolf92]

I think that suicide is never an option, but then again I've had a pretty normal life. Everyones story is different

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Its a waste of a Human Life. No matter how bad your life is, no matter who or what keeps kicking you while you're down, you can get by it and beat it. If someone tells you that you're useless, prove them wrong, become better then them and so them that you don't need them. Suicide is a escape for those who don't believe they can do it, but will not know unless they try.

 

[barash]

In my book, anyone that have given the matter sufficient thought and reached a conclusion based on their particular situation should not be encouraged nor talked out of it. The will to live is not a thing you can convince someone of based on your own morality or sense of worth. Even to contemplate suicide implies a lot of variables which your average citizen (slight generalization) are not fit to address nor analyse.

Let him go. It will take some years but the reality and acceptance of your friends decision will most likely make you a better human. An emotionally stunted, but better, human.


imo.

 

[Thaius]

Suicide is not the way. It's a coward's way out, and it deprives the world of someone that could be a great part of it. Suicide always negatively effects the people around you. It's selfish and hurtful. If you care about him, stop him. That's all it comes down to.

 

[PurpleSky]

Spoiler

She's a singer who recently commited suicide,about a week ago.

She swallowed poison when she was alone at home.She left a 1 year-old kid and a husband behind.
From her last message found on her phone,she said she was all washed up,a reject ( probably she was having a hard time promoting her new album)

I think cases like this,people with everything but still suicidal, should be treated.

They're just depressed,if it was a cancer patient I wouldn't interfere....I think.

 

[SrsSimba]

I really hate suicide because it's just someone giving up. I've always thought that if something fell through or things aren't going your way, you just try again and again till they do. All about staying positive even if everything seems set against you. Suicide simply goes against what I've always believed, so I just see it as something that should be frowned upon, and fixed. I've had several close friends attempt suicide, and I managed to stop them all. Mostly because they told me they were thinking about it in time, but one caught me by surprise and almost did it. I beat him senseless then got all the dangerous out of the house, barricaded the doors and talked to him. The thing is that it could just be an especially bad day that causes it, and if they just wait until the next, things will look better or something will have changed to brighten their hopes. I have every right to save something I love, especially if the danger could have been avoided easily.

 

[aLivingPheonix]

It... Depends. If their life gets better, then it was a good choice. If not... Maybe you should've let them do it. It also depends on their reasons.

Of course, Lacey Mosley was gonna commit suicide, and someone stopped her, now she's the lead signer of the second greatest band evar.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

As a suicidal bipolar, I can say if you are ever in the position of seeing a friend desire to end their life, PLEASE ask your friend not to. Often, its a case of feeling useless, having no reason to live, having no-one to miss them. Sometimes, knowing someone is there and that someone cares about them, more than they care about themselves, is exactly what is needed.

I remember sitting in my house crying, holding a bottle of tablets and wanting to tke them all and stop the pain, stop living. My boyfriend took the tablets off me, held me, got me a sleeping tablet and put me to sleep until I had strength to live again.

That is love. And I will never forget it, because he did for me, what I didn't have the strength to do...