Poll: Suicide... Is it really our place to tell people whether or not to kill themselves?

[The Lost Big Boss]

You know what I would do if one of my friends was talking about killing himself? Punch him in the face. Tell him the stupidity of his logic and make him sleep over my house for a couple of days.

This is all true, I am Sixteen now, Seventeen in August. I have had time to think over this mess and make it all out in my mind.

I was in a depressed state at one point in my life. In the sixth grade my dad went to New Orleans after Katrina to help the relief effort. While he was there he found another woman and had an affair. When he came back a month later he continued seeing her (She lived in Connecticut, I am in Mass.) My mom found out and went into an emotional breakdown. A complete fucking mess for the next five months after he got back. I was in the sixth grade, making me about 12 years old at the time, watching my dad come home at 2 in the morning, my mom in a drunk rage scream and yell at him and slam shit all around the house. (also my dad is an alcoholic so he would be drunk also)

My dad moved out, but my mom was still a complete mess, unable to do anything. Then one day she either attempted suicide because my dad came to pick me up to go skiing in Maine the day before shit hit the fan. During that time my mom is in a mental hospital. I came home and my dad told me that mom was in a mental hospital for about a week, during this time I was visited by my aunts and uncles saying how they are there for me and other bullshit.

So she comes back and things start to settle down, not normal, but better than what it was. My dad moved out and promised my mom that he wouldn't see her ever again. So everything was starting to chill till the Patriots Broncos 06 playoff game.

My dad had a reunion with all of his friends from Katrina in the restaurant he owns, but my mom is second in command and has access to all the cameras. So during halftime she looked at the cameras and saw my dad and the chick sitting together. She started to scream at the computer scream "What the fuck is he doing with her!?" "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM, GET AWAY FROM HIM!" More drama, more drunk parents, more nights crying in bed (me), (remember I was twelve at the time).

Fast forward two years and I am in the eight grade, and this bullshit is still repeating itself. Dad comes back, mom is paranoid about dad cheating, mom goes out with friends, gets drunk, yells and screams, mom dad have fight at 11:00 at night, I'm in my bed listening to the content bullshit. Repeat this for a couple years and you start to fucking hate life. Grades start to suck because you can't stand anymore of this shit and now you are part of the cycle. I fucking hated everything and I soon became depressed and wanted out. Every day I would just think to myself as my mom or dad were fighting, or if my mom was in one of her depressed moods, "Why can't I just end all of this, jump out the window and land on the head and all of it would be over." At the age of fourteen I was contemplating suicide. Now none of this has been told to any one before, I have developed a shell to protect my self from bullshit like this, and as it stands I really can't get to any emotional level with people who are close to me, I just shut off to protect myself.

Now this shit is still happening to this day, in fact just today my dad moved out of the house for my mom to come back from the inn. And for a while I was having more thoughts of ending it all, but then something hit me and no it was not my fist. It was the thought of how selfish I would be to do that. All the people who would be devastated if I killed myself, how fucked up I would make an already fucked up situation worse. How my mom would most likely off herself if I did do this. How ending it all is a pussy way out, and that even if something is fucked up, then you half to find a way to fix it.

Now because I had this epiphany I came to realize something else, I resent my mother and father. I resent how weak she was for what was a minor situation. How she took something that was bad and exploded it into whole other level of FUBAR. I resent my dad for making this situation in the first place, and being an alcoholic and making it worse too. How he didn't give a fuck about how this was effecting my mom, and how it was effecting me. I resent both of them for completely fucking up my whole childhood and making it a fucking mess. I resent them for making me even consider the option of suicide.

So if I ever have a friend that says they are going to off themselves, I say knock some sense into them, and tell them how selfish it would be and how much of a pussy they would be to do that.

I know some of that was unneeded, but it felt good letting it out for once, even if it was on the internet.

 

[Yowsa]

human like is important

 

[EHKOS]

It's is totally their decision, this is why I hate the law that we have to wear seatbelts. I'll die if I want. If someone is hurting THAT badly, then I say let them.

 

[thepaleponi]

As a staunch supporter of euthanasia for terminally ill patients (especially patients who are facing a long period of needless suffering before the end), I feel that there are definitely situations in which a person should have the right to end their life.

As far as suicide goes, I think it should be regulated somewhat. Perhaps anyone wishing to end their life should have to pass a battery of psychological exams to establish his/her mental stability and competence. Once it's certain that they are making the decision free of any potentially judgment impairing conditions, they should be given the green light to carry through.

Just a thought.

 

[crudus]

As far as suicide goes, I think it should be regulated somewhat. Perhaps anyone wishing to end their life should have to pass a battery of psychological exams to establish his/her mental stability and competence. Once it's certain that they are making the decision free of any potentially judgment impairing conditions, they should be given the green light to carry through.

Just a thought.

That is not a bad idea actually. Though I don't think it should be arbitrarily long. If someone really wants to kill themselves they are going to find a way. One way that nobody can stop is biting your tongue until you bleed out. I would recommend talking to everyone they are going to hurt beforehand. This seems to be was OP's friend did and I approve of that.

 

[baboon 101]

Depression is a disease. It is a disease that makes people unable to make rational decisions about the value of their own life, their worth to others, their actual situation, and their potential to turn around around their lives when things are legitimately not going well. Allowing a disease to go untreated without the consent of the patient is immoral, and in the case of Depression, the sufferer is in no condition to refuse treatment because the sufferer cannot make rational choices regarding the value of their own life.

The same can be said of any other mental disorder which may cause suicidal thoughts.

When a person is in a rational state of mind and wishes to end their life in a more painless or dignified fashion, such as in the case of a person with terminal cancer or one who does not wish to live through advanced Alzheimer's and makes such a decision with sound mind, nobody should get in the way of that decision.

 

[Betancore]

I really don't know. Two of my friends have committed suicide, and both were very close to me. Sometimes I think that it's their choice, since it's their life. But I've been through depression myself and I know that I'm often not in the right state of mind to be making decisions like these, and if I'm feeling suicidal then I need someone to talk me out of it. However if they've made their choice rationally then I guess it's not my place to tell them not to do it.

Even so, I'd try my best to make sure they realise how many people love them and care for them, and that if they stick around, there's a chance to make things better, whereas if they end it now, they won't even get that chance. But I think I'd feel a bit guilty, telling someone how much they'd hurt everyone else they loved, just because they'd feel pressure to stay alive for them, rather than for himself. I don't know. I guess it depends on the situation; every person is different, as are their reasons.

 

[enzilewulf]

If its a friend who does it then obviously they have no one, and your not being a good enough friend. Don't ask....

 

[Cowabungaa]

I don't know, I've helped stopping someone from killing himself for a friend and I still think it's a right thing to do, but in some cases I don't think I should interfere.

I don't think I would do it myself even though I think about it almost every day, I know some people will be pretty negatively affected and miss me in the long run, and worse; someone I really care about wouldn't even know what would've happened. But I must also admit; I really don't care about all that (except that one person that wouldn't know). It's my life, not theirs and they just can't make me happy neither do I want to stay alive just to make them feel better. Now thát's selfish.

Fact is; I don't care about living. All my dreams, everything I ever really cared about has been crushed before my eyes over and over again. There is just nothing left, I'm completely empty. All those people here that say that you can try again and again and again are just plain wrong. At one point you just run out of energy, everyone has their limits. And not only that, but at one point you just run out of things to try. Except for small, frivolous things that give me small moments of enjoyment I have nothing to look forward to, my future is one big black hole made of pure nothingness and every fibre in me expects that it'll stay that way.

It's not that people hate me or something, it's not that my home is broken (it's not good either, but no one is mentally ill or drunk or something) and I won't pretend that my life is all tough and harsh or whine like some teenage kid, but there's just nothing left for me. I've tried to realise my dreams and the things I care about, I've worked for a better life, one that dóes make me happy but each and every time I just completely and utterly failed. Now there's just nothing left, I'm an empty shell. So many people here who say that it will get better, but how the hell do you know? I've only seen the opposite happen.

Almost every day I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up, just dream forever because that's the only place I could be happy in.

 

[Jonluw]

I don't think we have the right to forcefully stop someone from taking their own life, it's their's after all.

But I still believe it is anyones right to try to talk someone out of it, just like I can try to talk someone into giving me all their belongings if I wish. If you talk them out of it you are not telling them whether to do it or not, you are presenting them with arguments to make them change their mind, and if you are successful, great, I suppose, but if you can't convince them not to you have no right to force them to lead their life the way you tell them to, or even lead their life at all.

 

[Count Igor]

If it would inconvineance someone else, than yes we can. (Not small inconviniances, like tripping over, but big ones, I just couldn't think of the right word)
I mean, there are laws because of that, to make life easier and better.

If no-one knows him, he doesn't have a job, than ok, let him kill him-self, as it doesn't matter to anyone else.

That may seem a bit harsh but that's just the way I'm thinking right now.

 

[Jonluw]

Fact is; I don't care about living. All my dreams, everything I ever really cared about has been crushed before my eyes over and over again. There is just nothing left, I'm completely empty. All those people here that say that you can try again and again and again are just plain wrong. At one point you just run out of energy, everyone has their limits. And not only that, but at one point you just run out of things to try. Except for small, frivolous things that give me small moments of enjoyment I have nothing to look forward to, my future is one big black hole made of pure nothingness and every fibre in me expects that it'll stay that way.

It's not that people hate me or something, it's not that my home is broken (it's not good either, but no one is mentally ill or drunk or something) and I won't pretend that my life is all tough and harsh or whine like some teenage kid, but there's just nothing left for me. I've tried to realise my dreams and the things I care about, I've worked for a better life, one that dóes make me happy but each and every time I just completely and utterly failed. Now there's just nothing left, I'm an empty shell. So many people here who say that it will get better, but how the hell do you know? I've only seen the opposite happen.

Almost every day I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up, just dream forever because that's the only place I could be happy in.

I feel/felt the same way. All the advice I can give you is: Try not to think about it. Ignore the fact that you have no hopes, dreams or future prospects (If you actually don't, that is) and just live right here and now; be comfortable. It might seem stupid, but if you manage to ignore all the bad thoughts and angst and don't worry everything seems to run a lot smoother.

I also recommend that you find something you enjoy doing. For me, anime and manga has helped a lot. When you have something to do, like watching anime, it is a lot harder to worry a lot.

 

[twistedmic]

If they tell you they're thinking about committing suicide I think that they are calling out for help (even if subconsciously) so I think that it is a good thing to do everything that you can to keep them from killing themselves.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

I didn't make the decision to be born, I don't feel I have the right to decide when to die. That's my opinion on the subject.

Doing something which has a chance of killing you (such as going into a burning building to save a child) is not the same as actively seeking one's own demise. Just preempting that argument before it gets started.

 

[twasdfzxcv]

If you think them killing themselves would affect you in anyway then yes. If not then no. In this case since it definitely would have an impact on your live so you should talk your friend out of it.

 

[chinangel]

I'm not sure if I qualify to comment on this as I suffer from clinical depression and a couple other things.

 

[HellbirdIV]

Ultimately someone who takes their own life harms other people in doing so. For that reason, the moral thing to do is to try to stop them, not for their sake, but for the sake of the people who will be affected.

 

[Cowabungaa]

I feel/felt the same way. All the advice I can give you is: Try not to think about it. Ignore the fact that you have no hopes, dreams or future prospects (If you actually don't, that is) and just live right here and now; be comfortable. It might seem stupid, but if you manage to ignore all the bad thoughts and angst and don't worry everything seems to run a lot smoother.

I also recommend that you find something you enjoy doing. For me, anime and manga has helped a lot. When you have something to do, like watching anime, it is a lot harder to worry a lot.

That's the thing; I'm forced to worry, always confronted with the choices people want me to make by those people. I try to escape from them every single day but every day more stress is put on top of it. Every day that letter that tells me I've been admitted on college and that I have to decide whether I want to actually go or not (3 weeks left) is staring me in the face. Every working day I see the face of my boss who wants me to decide whether I want to keep working there or get my hours cut in a few weeks. And almost every day I talk to the girl I'm willing to cross half the planet for yet seems more distant than ever before.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot escape from the future. I am not allowed to stop worrying about it and I'm starting to crack because of it. I can't keep this up for much longer, how can I make a proper decision like this?

 

[Pegghead]

Well straight off the bat your friend has all my sympathy, I feel rotten that I get by alright while life just takes a shit on some people.

Secondly suicide intervention truly is a necessary thing, I mean because of things that have happened and the way I am I've gone through some rough patches in my time and if it wasn't through counselling, mates and even my beliefs I don't know what I would've done. I've heard that one of the testimonies of people who survive suicide is that the split second you jump off the bridge or whatever you do is when you realize that you can solve your problems and it's hard to think straight like that when everything's gone to shit.