Poll: Suicide... Is it really our place to tell people whether or not to kill themselves?

[Treeinthewoods]

I really am suprised by the people who think letting people commit suicide because they are unhappy is okay. It's not, suicide is never a victimless crime and no matter how unhappy you may be it's not the right choice. Replay the conversation, especially your last sentence. You told him you cared and you would be sad if he was gone and he didn't do it. That was what he needed to hear. He needed to know someone cared which gave him a reason to go on.

Anybody who talks about suicide, even if they are explaining all the reasons they should do it, is asking you for help. People who really want to do it will do it without stopping to say goodbye. People who did reach out and didn't get any help will do it and leave the people who they talked to feeling guilty for the rest of their lives. If you just let him walk away and do it, you would live the rest of your life remebering how he reached out to you and you failed. Not an epic fail, a real life fail, one where you didn't help save a life when you could.

Kudo's to you OP, you saved a life. Not everyone can say they have done something that great but you can.

 

[kjrubberducky]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

People's thoughts, beliefs, and emotions are fluid; while some are relatively static, others are constantly in flux. No matter how hopeless it looks for someone at a certain time or in a particular situation, their view could be changed by random events in a matter of days, hours, or, in the extreme, even seconds.

Giving up on life is not a solution, and if someone thinks it is, they should be dissuaded from it.

 

[Spinozaad]

It's their choice to make.

As said in this topic, it's a permanent solution to a (usually) temporary problem. Of course, I can imagine that someone, at some point, would want to say 'So long, and thanks for all the fish.'

I always think of it like this: You were never giving the choice to step into life, at least you should be allowed make the conscious decision to step out of it. This could possibly make you a heartless bastard in the eyes of your loved ones, but it's your life and not anyone else's.

 

[WolfThomas]

I believe yes. I think anyone who wants to die is not in the right state of mind (excluding palliative care) and given that a large amount of suicides attempts are one off events dependant just on mood or circumstances at a particular time, we should stop them. Also you've really got to rule out any mental illness that can be fixed with both a psychiatrist and mediciations.

I just don't believe we should give up on those who've given up on themselves.

 

[Kagim]

Its perfectly alright to work with people to get them out of committing suicide.

Problems have this weird way of going away if you help your friends and family work through them.

Depression is a natural instinct of humans meant to force reflection. Its a social reflex that is supposed to give the person time to think on how to fix the shit they stepped in. It's not a sign that your hopeless. Its a sign that you want to make things better for yourself. If you did not want to deal with your problems you would not go through depression. If you did not want to keep living and be happy you would not become depressed.

Most importantly for the average person suicide is not only the wrong answer, its an extreme wrong answer to trivial problems. Yes. Trivial.

The honest truth of it is anyone who gets passed there troubled times growing up will look back and say, "I can't believe i got so upset about that."

Whats more is that anyone who takes a quick yet slow(Jumpers, any sort of suicide that takes enough time to think without dulling the mind with drugs or chemicals) decision for suicide the majority of survivors usually say there last thoughts are of changing there minds.

Most people who have time to reflect before they die with a clear head generally realize they don't want to die

So yeah, you have all the right in the world to stop someone from suicide. To just let someone die is irresponsible. There are always answers. Therapy, friendship, working together, fixing whats broken. Family. Things can be done to save someone thinking of suicide.

If you really care about someone. You will stop them.

 

[Jonluw]

That's the thing; I'm forced to worry, always confronted with the choices people want me to make by those people. I try to escape from them every single day but every day more stress is put on top of it. Every day that letter that tells me I've been admitted on college and that I have to decide whether I want to actually go or not (3 weeks left) is staring me in the face. Every working day I see the face of my boss who wants me to decide whether I want to keep working there or get my hours cut in a few weeks. And almost every day I talk to the girl I'm willing to cross half the planet for yet seems more distant than ever before.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot escape from the future. I am not allowed to stop worrying about it and I'm starting to crack because of it. I can't keep this up for much longer, how can I make a proper decision like this?

I really can't give you other advice than to tell you not to worry. Things have an uncanny ability to work themselves out; not necessarily perfectly, but regardless of whether you go to college or not, and whether you keep your job or not, I can almost guarantee you will end up with a life that, even though it might not be what you dreamed of, is something you can live with.

Don't try to escape the future, embrace it. Your future will be a lot better if you accept that it is coming no matter what. If you try to drag an object along some rails, lubricating it will ensure that a lot less damage comes to the object, while if the object somehow tries to resist being dragged along those rails, I can ensure you that it will not be in as good a shape by the end of the rails. (Okay, strained metaphor, but I think it gets my point across)

I am not saying you should completely stop caring; only that worrying too much really does not help you.

From the sound of it you are also in love, that seems like a good reason to keep trying. I sort of envy you for having fallen in love with someone, from what I hear, despite all the heartbreak and sorrow it causes, people tend to think it was worth it in the end.
I would recommend you follow through on that love, but I don't really know much about love: Unlike suicidal thoughts, I haven't experienced it myself.

If you are into anime, or even if you're not; I recommend you watch Clannad and Clannad after story (46 episodes) and/or Welcome to the NHK (24 episodes). They are both really inspirational, and got me thinking a lot. In fact, Clannad after story is the only thing aside from depression that has made me shed a tear in recent memory.

But really, what I want to get through here is. Do not worry to much! Things work themselves out. Going wrong is actually pretty hard. So long as you do not give up completely, and keep going, you can get through life with a relatively small amount of effort.

And remember, life is full of sad times and happy times. In the sad times, it does not seem like life is worth living for the sake of the happy times. But in the happy times, it definitely does.

 

[Sharky200]

I think that I am meant to at least try to talk them out of it. If after that they still take their life. There is nothing i can do about it. Sometimes its just a one moment thing. I know from personal experience. When you are depressed with all the chaos in your life. I have been literally curled up in a corner crying rocking back and forth. You can't see a way out in that condition the only thing you see is the easy way out. "If i kill myself I wont have to worry about all this" That is the cheap way out. Of course I never got to the planning stage so i never actually tried to commit suicide but I contemplated it. Sure its horrible living that way but not all days are that bad and if you survive it you can live another day. you regain your strength and you are able to endure more. and at least live the little happy moments you do have within all the horrible depressive chaos that surrounds us all.
If i ever think about suicide again do me a favor and stop me. Even if i don't want you to.

 

[azukar]

What's the difference between "of course" and "obviously" in this poll? You're making a very fine distinction there...

 

[Broady Brio]

Killing himself for things he wasn't responsible for?

Thank god you stopped him for doing something silly.

Because it's not his fault is why I fully support you when you intervened. He shouldn't suffer from what has happened, as he had no involvement at all.

 

[Gigano]

Talking it over with them, and laying forth arguments to the contrary could never be wrong. They might not have the full picture of their situation, or the wrong idea overall.

When all has been said though, and they still want to kill themselves, then one no longer has any business forcibly stopping them. It's ultimately their choice, if it's informed.

So you probably did very commendable good. Unless the unlikely shoud happen, and your friend turns his frustration on others and becomes a murderer or something, in which case you're in for a 74 episode quest for atonement.

 

[Trace2010]

A friend of mine really got the short end of the stick in life. His mom died when he was three and his dad is gone, probably drunk in some alley or in prison, he is living with his grandparents who really could give two shits about him, and to top it all off he is constantly kicked out of his home for the absolute most trivial and frivolous reasons. He has spent more nights on the street and in foster homes than we can count. His grandparents don't want him at all. His life pretty much sucks.

I am his best friend since a few years back when I helped him in a fight against a gang of punks from our rival school (I don't consider them a gang but they do). He has been spending the last few nights at my house because his grandparents pretty much threatened to give him back to his dad which is not an option at all. Tonight he came to me and thanked me for all I have done for him. I was pretty confused so I just said "You're welcome" and went on with my activity. He then bid me farewell and began walking away. When I stopped him to ask where he was going he said that he was off to go end it all. I was shocked. He never had these notions before. So I asked him "What are you talking about?". He said that he didn't wanna be a burden too anyone anymore.

I progressively tried to convince him not to go through with it. I used all the reasons in the book. When I was done with my side of the argument he finally decided to say something. He explained all the reasons why he should do it and why I shouldn't stop him... and it all made sense. Every word that came out of his mouth. He almost convinced me to let him do it.

I said the only thing that I could think of to him to try and convince him. I said "I would miss you man, you're my best friend and like a brother, I don't wanna lose you man."

He decided not to do it. But what he said shook me up a bit. What right did I have to stop him from ending something so bad. I don't think I should say any of this to people he knows or I would probably just embarrass him so I ask you. With the anonymity of the Escapist. What right did I have?

None, but for the duties of a "True Friend".

 

[V TheSystem V]

My mate's girlfriend apparently keeps on saying about killing herself, but I think it's to attract attention and make my friend stay with her and love her even more. They do love each other, albeit obsessively, which is quite scary, but she should grow up and stop doing that.

Someone in my old school tried to take their own life after being bullied over MSN and Facebook. She was 13, and I was in my last year of comprehensive. Our head of year lectured us and it sounded like we were responsible, when none of us knew the girl involved.

Some of my friends at this moment in time have tried to commit suicide because people have made their lives hell, and they believed death was a welcome release. Thank God they didn't do it, or I wouldn't have some of my best friends.

Some people are just attention seeking and they are just doing it because of something that is entirely avoidable. Some people, like your friend, have legitimate reasons and it will make sense. But as long as you stick by them, then they will have one more reason to stay alive.

 

[JoshGod]

the right to ending ones life is as fundamental as the right to life itself.
(as long as of sane mind etc)

 

[The Arc of Eden]

My psychology teacher once said on the subject: "No one has a good reason to commit suicide... except for a rare few who really do have nothing."

I consider myself one of those rare few but I find a way through my days because I don't want to be one of those rare few. I don't think anyone does.

Your friend reminds me of one of my friends who has been given an almost identical lot in life. Some people find a way, and some just can't put their situation into perspective. While your friend's life sounds shitty, you should both look towards changing the future and at least attempting to give him something bearable.

 

[Wedlock49]

As someone who has attempted suicide and spends a lot of time thinking about it, no. People don't have the right to stop you and if you want it bad enough you'll do it anyway.

I've found the best thing for people to say to me when I'm feeling suicidal is not to try and persuade me not to do and try and blackmail me out of doing it, but to just talk to me and help me remember why it's worth living for a little bit longer.

My last attempt really was almost the end of me, taken a cocktail of pills and drank some tequila and I was walking through the streets trying to get to a friends house, they'd rank me and I'd told them what I'd done all I remember thinking was how much it all hurt and puking very hard, if I hadn't of puked I probably would have died (I'd eaten potatoes prior to the attempt, they absorbed most of the alchohol and the chemicals with it). The point in saying this comes to something my friend said to me whilst I was drifting in and out of conciousness I was lain there and she turned to me and said "Do you still want to die?" Now, that might seem like a terrible thing to say to someone in that state but it seriously helped me, it helped me think about everything.

Since that night at deaths door, i've been terrified of what's going to happen when I die, I can't imagine not existing, i'd never thought about that before. That fear has kept me from attempting anything else.

You've got to be there for your friend during this time the best way to get someone through a suicidal mood is to distract them from it.

 

[Cowabungaa]

le snip

Thanks for the anime suggestion, I'm not véry big on anime but I can appreciate good fiction when I see it, whether it's anime or anything else.

As for things working out. I honestly wish I could believe you, but time has given me proof for the opposite. Things have only gotten worse as time progressed. When I finally gathered the courage to make someone from my life and made choices I always made the wrong ones. I always thought life would get better after elementary, high school or the next college I attended, I never worried that much, but time and time again I was proven wrong and things just got worse. When I went to high school I thought I finally got rid of all the bullies. I was wrong, I was more of a social outcast than ever. During high school I thought that maybe college would make things better. And guess what, it did! I finally found a home amongst people like me, maybe I was even happy. And then WAM; I was forced to leave because I failed the actual college course, I just couldn't handle it. Well, maybe the néxt college course was more suitable to me. And prrresto it was high school all over again! Social outcast, bullying, pretty much always alone. I became depressed and was forced to leave. Well maybe a year of solid work would do me good! And that's where I am now; miserable because work hásn't done me any good. The opposite of what I hoped would happen. AGAIN!

I cannot see anything in the future that's worth embracing. I cannot see anything in the future at all, just inky blackness. Nothing. Yet I'm pushed forward by other people who want me to make choices I don't feel ready for.

As for love, honestly, while I want to share my life with her and just be with her with every fibre in my body, barely a day goes by where I just wished I wouldn've met her. My hope that I actually can be with her has pretty much dwindled into nothingness. I guess it's not her fault, not mine either. Just another case of bad luck, just another thing that I thínk would make my life better but in the end just wrecks things up even more. As pretty much EVERYTHING SO FAR!

 

[Wedlock49]

My psychology teacher once said on the subject: "No one has a good reason to commit suicide... except for a rare few who really do have nothing."

I consider myself one of those rare few but I find a way through my days because I don't want to be one of those rare few. I don't think anyone does.

Your friend reminds me of one of my friends who has been given an almost identical lot in life. Some people find a way, and some just can't put their situation into perspective. While your friend's life sounds shitty, you should both look towards changing the future and at least attempting to give him something bearable.

Why should anyone else judge who has a good reason but the person doing it? Everyone has a reason when they attempt suicide and it was obviously a very big thing for them.

 

[WestMountain]

It's a waste of human capital!

 

[The Arc of Eden]

My psychology teacher once said on the subject: "No one has a good reason to commit suicide... except for a rare few who really do have nothing."

I consider myself one of those rare few but I find a way through my days because I don't want to be one of those rare few. I don't think anyone does.

Your friend reminds me of one of my friends who has been given an almost identical lot in life. Some people find a way, and some just can't put their situation into perspective. While your friend's life sounds shitty, you should both look towards changing the future and at least attempting to give him something bearable.

Why should anyone else judge who has a good reason but the person doing it? Everyone has a reason when they attempt suicide and it was obviously a very big thing for them.

She doesn't have the right, but what your missing there is the fact that she was a teacher, and in a Mormon state no less. This means she is pretty much forced to give anti drug, suicide, pre-marital sex, Ect speeches. That is, if her own opinion wasn't such in the first place.

 

[Wedlock49]

My psychology teacher once said on the subject: "No one has a good reason to commit suicide... except for a rare few who really do have nothing."

I consider myself one of those rare few but I find a way through my days because I don't want to be one of those rare few. I don't think anyone does.

Your friend reminds me of one of my friends who has been given an almost identical lot in life. Some people find a way, and some just can't put their situation into perspective. While your friend's life sounds shitty, you should both look towards changing the future and at least attempting to give him something bearable.

Why should anyone else judge who has a good reason but the person doing it? Everyone has a reason when they attempt suicide and it was obviously a very big thing for them.

She doesn't have the right, but what your missing there is the fact that she was a teacher, and in a Mormon state no less. This means she is pretty much forced to give anti drug, suicide, pre-marital sex, Ect speeches. That is, if her own opinion wasn't such in the first place.

This sort of thing seems musch more like personal opinion than something that's forcing her to say it.