Poll: Thinking of Leaving My GF of Three Years

[mrmostlymittens]

Can I get her number?

 

[KatiCentauri]

For the sake of your current girlfriend, break up with her. Sounds to me like you're just stringing her along/just keeping her for familiarity and sex, and it isn't fair to her if she thinks there's more to the relationship.

Or you could just show her this post. She'd probably do the breaking up for you.

 

[Shuswah_Noir]

This is why I'm polyamorous. I am capable of having a strong connection with more than one person and feeling love for more than one person in that context. And polyamorous people tend not to be shallow immature idiots...

You don't appear to have had any interest in your current girlfriend beyond sex and how she looks. But you need to consider how she feels, cause it's probably not the same as you.

Talk to her, tell her how you feel, leave, deal with the consequences, pursue new girl, continue cycle.

One day you'll grow up. You're a 21 year old guy, you've got a long way to come. I may not be much older, but females tend to mature faster.

EDIT: Not voting cause I don't agree with any of the given options.

 

[Hagi]

I'd say go for the new girl.

But please, don't be an asshole and start dating her within a week after dumping your old one.

Wait a week or two, maybe even a month. If the new girl is worth it she'll wait that long and with your life being so intertwined with the old one you really do need to show some basic manners and respect to her.

 

[TheDrunkNinja]

We bicker incessantly due to our shared trait of stubbornness, and she is overly harsh and judgmental of my activities (hardcore gaming, drinking) and she pouts whenever I take alone time or leave her to see my friends. She's also very critical of my father and sister, people who are flawed but not worthy of the heaps of derision poured upon them.

Sounds like you're already a married couple, only you skipped the step that puts the ring on her finger.

But seriously, why are you asking us? It's simple. Ask yourself if you're happy. If you've had a good life and if these last three years have significantly improved it. Bickering doesn't ever mean a relationship is getting sour if you can easily say that you love this girl at the end of the day.

It seems more to me that you don't really take relationships seriously in general. More a means to an end rather than an emotional connection with another human being. If you find yourself feeling like this, then maybe you're the type of guy who values the excitement of making that connection rather than the connection itself. If that's the case, be up front with your girl friends about this from now on. It isn't fair to her or anyone else you date if she's expecting a long term commitment that you can never deliver.

 

[likalaruku]

Just make the relationship platonic, that way you can still be just friends. But yeah, move on. If she's the sensitive overacting emotional typ, just be boring around her & she'll loose enough interest in you that she won't care much when you split, or maybe she;ll beat you to the punchline.

 

[captaincabbage]

Dude, this hits a little too close to home for me, as I feel like I'm in the same situation. I love my current girlfriend deeply and she does me, but she is very needy and clingy, especially when I want to see friends or be on my own. On top of that she's very jealous and possesive of me, suspicious of just about every girl I meet. It's made harder that she is that way, because I do love her and we like so many of the same things.

In my opinion, you should just do what you think deep down will make you happy. If your current GF is a reasonable person, she might feel the same way you do, but don't bet on it.

Just remember that what you do now isn't going to ruin your whole universe, you're only 21 for christ's sake, there'll be plenty of time for that when you have your midlife crisis.

 

[svenjl]

I got married at 23 and 364 days, still married 9 years later. Lots of things about your partner can get old - you've got to keep finding things to be passionate about together and apart. That's what commitment is about. There will ALWAYS be women who are more attractive, physically or otherwise, so part of your decision comes down to what you prioritise in a relationship. I would say based on your words, go for the new girl but be prepared to be burned badly by your own decision. Either way suck it up and move on.

 

[loc978]

Move on, see if the same thing happens. If so, you may not be cut out for monogamy (yes, that's me projecting on you). Whatever you do, though, don't lie about it to your current girlfriend. Dump her before moving on.

 

[WarCorrespondent]

Switch girlfriends by all means if you're up for it, but don't switch STRAIGHT AWAY. Have a little single-time for yourself to get your head straight.

 

[Turing]

So, here's the deal: I'm sick of my woman.

We've been dating for three years, nonstop. We go to college together and tend to always take classes with her. She's alright-looking, and she plays games and cosplays and such rather continuously and adequately. We tend to agree on many issues of morality, life, and love, though she's a bit interested in children and marriage, which concerns me. Our sex life is, to put it bluntly, great, even though I have long ago lost interest.

Things between us are by no means BAD. But they also aren't perfect. We bicker incessantly due to our shared trait of stubbornness, and she is overly harsh and judgmental of my activities (hardcore gaming, drinking) and she pouts whenever I take alone time or leave her to see my friends. She's also very critical of my father and sister, people who are flawed but not worthy of the heaps of derision poured upon them.

We also have many portions of our lives intertwined, e.g., we both share an hourly job and our families are quite fond of each other.

There's also a fly in the ointment. I'm falling for another woman as well. This new girl is three years younger than myself. (I'm 21, if it helps) and we are both very into each other. I've kept a bit of distance between me and this new girl, but I find it harder and harder to avoid. This new woman appears to have the qualities I like that my current girlfriend lacks: intellectual curiosity, passion, and a challenging mindset. She's the excitement and challenge my relationship lacks. Also, my current gf is a 6 and the new one is easily an 8.

TLDR: Excitement and Challenge, or Comfort and Security? Help me Escapists, you're my only hope.

As I see it you have 2 options: Either you fix your currently broken relationship or you end it.
Tell her to stop being a ***** (a different wording would probably be a good idea unless you're aiming straigth for option number 2) and try and get back to a healthy, functioning relationship.
One of the tests of being in a real, adult relationship is staying true to your partner even when they're being a pain and you're attracted to someone else.
Alternately, well you're only 21, odds are neither of these girls are going to be your partner for life...

 

[Joepow]

It's my observation that people who make these kinds of threads already have their minds made up, but feel guilty about what they want to do and they really just want other people to justify their actions. Please don't take that the wrong way. It's just that I've seen this many times, and I've been in similar situations myself, but that's the case a good 95% of the time with things like these.

Having read the poll options, I have to agree with ChildofGallifrey. Meybe I'm reading too much into them, but if you're describing your dillema as savfety vs exitement, it sounds like you've already made your decesion.
But then again, I'm the least apropriate person to give relationship advice, so don't give my opinion too much weight.

WHAT THE FUCK. YOU DO NOT MAKE A DECISION BASED ON A POLL FILLED OUT BY STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET. SHAME ON YOU.

Also this.

 

[Helios_(DEL)]

So, here's the deal: I'm sick of my woman.

We've been dating for three years, nonstop. We go to college together and tend to always take classes with her. She's alright-looking, and she plays games and cosplays and such rather continuously and adequately. We tend to agree on many issues of morality, life, and love, though she's a bit interested in children and marriage, which concerns me. Our sex life is, to put it bluntly, great, even though I have long ago lost interest.

Things between us are by no means BAD. But they also aren't perfect. We bicker incessantly due to our shared trait of stubbornness, and she is overly harsh and judgmental of my activities (hardcore gaming, drinking) and she pouts whenever I take alone time or leave her to see my friends. She's also very critical of my father and sister, people who are flawed but not worthy of the heaps of derision poured upon them.

We also have many portions of our lives intertwined, e.g., we both share an hourly job and our families are quite fond of each other.

There's also a fly in the ointment. I'm falling for another woman as well. This new girl is three years younger than myself. (I'm 21, if it helps) and we are both very into each other. I've kept a bit of distance between me and this new girl, but I find it harder and harder to avoid. This new woman appears to have the qualities I like that my current girlfriend lacks: intellectual curiosity, passion, and a challenging mindset. She's the excitement and challenge my relationship lacks. Also, my current gf is a 6 and the new one is easily an 8.

TLDR: Excitement and Challenge, or Comfort and Security? Help me Escapists, you're my only hope.

Dude think about it carefully because the worst thing is regret im gonna say this and that i wish everything was as civil as what you have now with my ex in regards to the parents ect i think you have it good champ and need to apreciate what you have but if you arnt happy then you arnt happy, and give her the respect in telling her then dragging it on.

 

[Reman Khaar]

Do NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT-NOT DO IT! DON'T! DO NOT! THE DARK SIDE LEADS ONLY TO PAIN AND SUFFERING!

 

[Adiona]

Really think about this before you make a decision, the grass isn't always greener on the other side trust me. Maybe it is time to take a break, perhaps that's all you need. A break to be single and just have no girlfriend for a while. At least when your single you can think without having a girlfriend there pushing for your attention.

Good luck though because this might be a decision that could affect your life, it might not but just take the time to think through all of the pros and cons.

 

[FallenRainbows]

Sooo... you got bored huh?

Having been in a similar situation on the side of 'My three-year girlfriend got bored of me' well two things.

1. It hurts if you drag it on; especially for the other person.

2. On behalf of the girl; fuck you. Although that's more my sentiments towards to my ex leading me on for three years.

3. I know your probably trying to make it light-hearted but if looks are important to you to such a degree; fuck off.

4. No relationship is perfect; if you think they are supposed to be you WILL fail.

5. Ignore me if I'm coming across as though I don't like you, I don't know you well enough to have any feelings towards you, but I'm just bitter.


You've made your decision a long time ago; don't string her on, she deserves better than that, better than you it would seem. What's love if you get bored? It certainly isn't love and everyone deserves to be loved.

However; being me, I still wish you happiness with the new girl. Even if I have slight resentment towards you.

 

[bakan]

It seems like you are spending too much time together, talk with your current girlfriend about it.
Everyone should have some sort of freedom in a relationship, going out with your friends, having a hobby on your own etc.
And if you spend time with your girlfriend do something new and keep the relationship exciting.

If this doesn't work out or you don't want to overcome the current situation in your relationship go for the new one but don't be an ass when you split up.

 

[Fasckira]

You're 21, thinking about leaving your long term stable girlfriend for an 18 year old who the main attraction is that shes hotter than the girl you're currently with (who shares interests, hobbies and attitudes and so on) and to top it off you want the internet to decide for you?

Wow, you're quite the buffoon!

Leave your current girlfriend, go for the hottie. It wont last, but you'll have fun and you're still young. Your current girlfriend however deserves a lot better (and a lot more respect) and with a bit of luck she'll find someone who actually appreciates her and isn't discussing her as an option to a world of strangers.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

i havent voted.

have a break, after a bit of space and time away, chances are you'll bicker less. Then you can see more clearly if you want to end it or move on with someone else