Poll: Upsides to bullying?

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Danpascooch

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Apr 16, 2009
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Jaeriko said:
danpascooch said:
Jaeriko said:
nobodies opinion of me matters except my own
First off, let me say that is a bad lesson to learn, it's important to care about what other people think of you to some degree, it's that motivation that keeps us from being complete assholes who never shower, and spit on the floor.

Secondly, you left out the reason everyone treated you like crap, teachers aren't going to go out of their way to lie to get you into trouble unless the have a reason. It may happen once, but not as much as you're describing. The reason they have might not be a good one, but the fact that you're not telling us what that reason is makes me think it might be something that paints you in a negative light.
Firstly, I'd like to point out that that's not the whole quote,nor the point. That point being that I won't allow people with baseless negativity to bother me. While I won't go as far to say I ignore it, I will not allow it to hurt me or damage my self-respect if I believe it was intended to hurt me. Essentially, it's "S, ticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" taken to heart. I may have not conveyed my point well enough for you to understand this, and I apologize for that, but I am critical of myself and I won't simply disregard something says about me if I believe that they are correct.

Secondly, I'll admit that it's hard to believe that I would receive such abuse for no reason and that my story seems unbelievable. It is, nonetheless, true. The only thing I left out was that I have ADHD (Irrelevant, really, considering I was no worse than anyone else in terms of behavior when the treatment started). It was no excuse for the way I was treated as I was on medication for it at the time and I was no worse than my peers in terms of attention span or academic achievement. In fact, I behaved better than some. I will however admit that when I received the unfair punishments (AFTER receiving them, not before), I was often angry and sarcastic towards the one that issued the punishment. You are essentially in the same position as my mother in regards to that, she often didn't believe that I was being truthful because it just sounded so incredible. She typically contacted a 3rd party (and a 4th/5th/6th) whose story matched near exactly with mine.

I won't say that I never caused trouble, because I did. However, I only became a trouble maker because I was being blamed anyway and through that I gained a complete disdain for my teachers.....most of them anyway, my grade 7/8 home-room teachers were rather understanding so I did not give them trouble. I dropped that lack of respect when I reached high school and was no longer being targeted, and since have not gotten in trouble (Besides an action of self-defence during a fight that I did not start. That was later solved by police through video evidence and I received no punishment)


Wooooooah....that was long winded. I hope you actually read through all that but I understand if you don't. Feel free to PM if you have more questions or need something clarified.
You have ADHD? Huh, me too.

Anyway, It's impossible that they did it so many times for no reason at all, but I think I might know what the reason is now, and it's not a good one for them to unfairly treat you for.

If I had to guess, I would say you got an unfair punishment once or twice, by coincidence, and voiced your opinion that you thought the punishment was stupid. The teachers/authority figures didn't like that, so they went out of their way to make your life miserable by giving you unfair punishments thus resulting in a vicious cycle.

Of course I could be completely wrong, that's just my guess based on the small knowledge I have. I am completely willing to believe you are not in the wrong here, but I am absolutely NOT willing to believe that the people who treated you unfairly had no reason/motivation whether that reason is a good one or not.
 

Irony's Acolyte

Back from the Depths
Mar 9, 2010
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What I got from bullying was the willingness to stand up for myself. And by stand up for myself, I mean become incredibly defensive over perceived slights against me. Where before I would simply shrug off the insults, now I won't hold back against them. I believe heavily in the idea of an eye for an eye and care somewhat less about taking the moral high ground. Now I'm in pretty good control of myself and I can stay easy going about most things, but when I reach a certain point I become alot less forgiving. I'm still pretty sensitive though about being hurt (even from falsely perceived "attacks") which has helped in me becoming rather closed about certain aspects of myself.

Plus being bullied felt like crap at the time. Any "positive" aspects gained from it aren't worth it.

So overall no. I don't believe being being bullied made me a better person. It might have toughed me up a bit and helped to turn me into the person I am today, but I figure there are better ways to achieve the same effects.
 

Kortney

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Nov 2, 2009
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I was never bullied at school, but I can understand how being bullied could add to your character and make you stronger in certain situations.
 

Syphous

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Apr 6, 2009
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I was never bullied but that might be because I was like the biggest kid in all my classes. But I don't remember anyone else ever getting bullied either...
 

theonlyblaze2

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Aug 20, 2010
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Bulllied from Kindergarden until....well, now. It has taught me things though. No one really fucks with me physically, because I a pretty big guy(6'3", 220)but they screw with me mentally. Forced me to become smarter and quicker with comebacks, and, somehow, given me self-confidence. I don't really care what they say any more. But the best thing I found out-I am not the only nerd/geek/dork/dweeb in the world. Met some pretty cool people because of the bullying. Also, now know that teachers hate me. For no reason.
 

theonlyblaze2

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Aug 20, 2010
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sravankb said:
Freakout456 said:
I was bullied by girls as a kid...it gave me self esteem issues and kind of messed me up around the opposite gender. I've mostly gotten over it, but no I did not gain anything by it.
Being bullied by girls is infinitely worse than guys cause the damage they do takes a crapload of time to leave you.
Me too man, me too. It sucks cause there isn't anything you can do about it. A guy does something, you can always fall back on a punch to the solar-plexus, but you can't do anything to girls.
 

Spaloooooka

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Oct 5, 2010
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Jaeriko said:
Alright, let's get straight to the point:

[1]...but I'm happy it happened before high school at least, which, as I'm sure many of you will agree, is where things usually get really bad.

[2]...that unfair treatment allowed me to develop the personality I have today. I'm grateful because the treatment has benefited me (or at least I think so) in the long term and allowed me to form stronger friendships and teach me how to most past bad experiences without trouble. It has saved me enormous amounts of stress and hardship.

[3] Now, I ask all of you who have suffered under bullies during your lifetime. Do you believe that those experiences have benefited you and how?


[1] I was beaten severly on a regular basis, every other day - in maths, on several occasions, I had a compass slash across my scalp. In the toilet was punched in the gut so hard it winded me, was stamped on, then I had a cup of piss poured on me. - My dad is/was a massive alcoholic, beat my mum.

[2] I tried to kill myself 3 time before I was 19. I still have mental and physical scars of trying to forget that Sh!t. I've seen those people around town in clubs - They are proud and mock me that they did it - I don't care now, now they're just sad. I've grown up and have an education and a well paying career.

[3] I didn't have it that bad compared to some kids.

I love being drunk =]
 

pope_of_larry

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Oct 18, 2009
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i'v been bullied from 3ed grade to now 10th grade (excluding half of 7th and all of 8th when i moved to a school that worked like the internet) even tho is has gotten much better i still don't feel like any one knows who i am. i hide who i am in the real world because when ever i let some one got to know me then end up joining the people who tormented me making matters worse because they uses to be my friend.
 

Manicotti

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Apr 10, 2009
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theonlyblaze2 said:
sravankb said:
Freakout456 said:
I was bullied by girls as a kid...it gave me self esteem issues and kind of messed me up around the opposite gender. I've mostly gotten over it, but no I did not gain anything by it.
Being bullied by girls is infinitely worse than guys cause the damage they do takes a crapload of time to leave you.
Me too man, me too. It sucks cause there isn't anything you can do about it. A guy does something, you can always fall back on a punch to the solar-plexus, but you can't do anything to girls.
I don't know about that. :p A girl stood over me and kicked me while I was sitting in a chair once, unprovoked; after I got bored telling her to cut it out, I finally responded by clapping her upside the head with the book in my hand. It was a hardcover on world peace, incidentally. But hey, it worked, and haven't had problems with her since.
 

Leg End

Romans 12:18
Oct 24, 2010
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BobDobolina said:
LegendaryGamer0 said:
Being(falsely) accused of planning to turn my town into a killzone is the least of my worries.
I'm relieved that my impression was mistaken.
Indeed it was. I'm not one to kill innocents.

Or at all, for that matter. Self-Defense only. I can thank Sakura for that.
 

DrWilhelm

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May 5, 2009
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I was bullied pretty heavily since towards the end primary school. The bullying originally stemmed from my severe eczema and asthma and slowly built on the resulting neuroses. Throughout out most of secondary school I was emotionally, and occaisonally physically bullied by pretty much everyone I knew, including people who I used to think of as friends. Typically, most teachers were utterly apathetic towards 'the weird kid' and so did very little to help me, which just made matters worse. Hell sometimes they seemed outright biased against me.

As a result I'm now 19 years old and suffer from extreme bouts of depression, suicidal impulses, crippling shyness, eating issues, paranoia and zero self-esteem. I am incredibly cynical, secretive, overweight, and I find it impossible to trust or rely on anyone. Also, thanks to my ex-best friend spreading vicious lies about me I no longer have any friends.

If I haven't already made it clear, no, I do not think there are any upsides to bullying. Unless you happen to have a very resilient character (which most young people don't have), bullying will just make you miserable. You'd be right by saying that it's turned me into the person I am today, but quite frankly I'd give anything to be someone else.
 

Jaeriko

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May 29, 2010
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danpascooch said:
Jaeriko said:
danpascooch said:
Jaeriko said:
nobodies opinion of me matters except my own
First off, let me say that is a bad lesson to learn, it's important to care about what other people think of you to some degree, it's that motivation that keeps us from being complete assholes who never shower, and spit on the floor.

Secondly, you left out the reason everyone treated you like crap, teachers aren't going to go out of their way to lie to get you into trouble unless the have a reason. It may happen once, but not as much as you're describing. The reason they have might not be a good one, but the fact that you're not telling us what that reason is makes me think it might be something that paints you in a negative light.
Firstly, I'd like to point out that that's not the whole quote,nor the point. That point being that I won't allow people with baseless negativity to bother me. While I won't go as far to say I ignore it, I will not allow it to hurt me or damage my self-respect if I believe it was intended to hurt me. Essentially, it's "S, ticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" taken to heart. I may have not conveyed my point well enough for you to understand this, and I apologize for that, but I am critical of myself and I won't simply disregard something says about me if I believe that they are correct.

Secondly, I'll admit that it's hard to believe that I would receive such abuse for no reason and that my story seems unbelievable. It is, nonetheless, true. The only thing I left out was that I have ADHD (Irrelevant, really, considering I was no worse than anyone else in terms of behavior when the treatment started). It was no excuse for the way I was treated as I was on medication for it at the time and I was no worse than my peers in terms of attention span or academic achievement. In fact, I behaved better than some. I will however admit that when I received the unfair punishments (AFTER receiving them, not before), I was often angry and sarcastic towards the one that issued the punishment. You are essentially in the same position as my mother in regards to that, she often didn't believe that I was being truthful because it just sounded so incredible. She typically contacted a 3rd party (and a 4th/5th/6th) whose story matched near exactly with mine.

I won't say that I never caused trouble, because I did. However, I only became a trouble maker because I was being blamed anyway and through that I gained a complete disdain for my teachers.....most of them anyway, my grade 7/8 home-room teachers were rather understanding so I did not give them trouble. I dropped that lack of respect when I reached high school and was no longer being targeted, and since have not gotten in trouble (Besides an action of self-defence during a fight that I did not start. That was later solved by police through video evidence and I received no punishment)


Wooooooah....that was long winded. I hope you actually read through all that but I understand if you don't. Feel free to PM if you have more questions or need something clarified.
You have ADHD? Huh, me too.

Anyway, It's impossible that they did it so many times for no reason at all, but I think I might know what the reason is now, and it's not a good one for them to unfairly treat you for.

If I had to guess, I would say you got an unfair punishment once or twice, by coincidence, and voiced your opinion that you thought the punishment was stupid. The teachers/authority figures didn't like that, so they went out of their way to make your life miserable by giving you unfair punishments thus resulting in a vicious cycle.

Of course I could be completely wrong, that's just my guess based on the small knowledge I have. I am completely willing to believe you are not in the wrong here, but I am absolutely NOT willing to believe that the people who treated you unfairly had no reason/motivation whether that reason is a good one or not.
That seems the most likely reason, I was not happy with the way I was treated and I made that known. I still to this day do not know why they treated me the way they did though, so maybe it was something else entirely.

Perhaps I just irritated them by being there. I know several people that irritate me beyond belief by just being near me, but that's no excuse to treat a child like crap.
 

Gigano

Whose Eyes Are Those Eyes?
Oct 15, 2009
2,281
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Severely doubt there are any in general, some individuals might be able to cope well with it, but it's still a profoundly negative experience which runs the risk of permanent psychological damage. That risk alone - even when not realized - makes it meaningless to talk about it as a positive process. Whatever coincidental benefits might arise could be achieved with far less risk and suffering.