Poll: What is the best non weapon?

[Sir Kemper]

Flare Gun.

Not technically a weapon, similar in the sense that it's primary use is for getting attention.

Still, i think it would work nice.

 

[CoverYourHead]

I'm partial to axes. Sharp with lots of heft on them. Hatchets are nice too because they can be used faster.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

A bow? Technically it's sports equipment, not a weapon! Failing that, a cricket bat. Sharp objects are bad, due to zombie blood issues. Even if it's not infectious, it'll taste awful!

 

[jakeEHTlovless]

BY THE POWER OF GREY SKULLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! no, but in all seriousness, i would probably use a guitar hero controller, i mean, what other use do they have... lol or use a wieght bench bar, there 45 lbs, that should crack some skulls, or cripple somthing very badly, whatever gets the job done really

 

[IronicBeet]

I would probably use a bow, its quiet, and you can get about 15 feet from the zombie, and at that point, you really can't miss, but you aren't close enough to be grabbed like with a hand weapon, then you could just retrieve the arrow.

I'd use the sub par bow I had until I could loot something better.

It is intended as a weapon though. It was designed as a weapon and is used as a weapon. I mean something you can find readily around the house. A small, TV can do wonders in a pinch if you need a heavy object to strike zombies with. It doesn't even need to be capable of delivering the last blow, just something to keep the monster away from your delicious brain.

Eh, I have a bow in the house for recreation, and I don't plan on using it for any kind of combat, so I'm counting it.

Also, a small TV is a bad idea, it's not very sturdy, it's not nearly as hard as many other household objects, you could cut yourself on the glass, and blunt objects are generally a bad idea unless you can be absolutely sure they are strong enough to crush a zombie's skull (like a sledgehammer)

My point is that it can do in an emergency situation, like a one time deal. Sure there are other, better household objects in the house but maybe not in the same room. If I needed to leave town, I wouldn't lug around a TV with me. I would probably bust out my crowbar and fight towards the nearest place with real weapons, like the local RCMP detachment.

I just don't know why you even mentioned "small tv" when the other thing you just mentioned (crowbar) would literally be better in every situation. I can't see a single situation where a small tv would be useful considering zombies feel no pain

Strike it in the head to disorient it with the small tv, leave before it can get up and get a better weapon. It is a valid strategy if nothing else is around. Again, I mentioned Crowbar but from where I am sitting right now there IS no crowbar. Readily available is this tv, right beside me. If there was more than one zombie I would break the window with the tv and escape. I'm not going to try my luck going to the garage to get my crowbar if the zombie is only a few feet away.

If a zombie gets to you and all you have on hand is a small tv, you've already fucked up, and you're going to die.

Not necessarily. One zombie could be neutralized with a small TV, as long as you were careful. A runner-zombie would be harder to (re)kill, but not impossible.

 

[G1eet]

This is why I'm glad my dad is a carpenter. We've got a ton of nonweapons out in the shed

 

[Nouw]

Anything can be a weapon. My Keyboard could be one. My 360 could be one.

I'd probably use the wooden sword I have or an axe. Although Crowbar sounds appealing.

 

[jakeEHTlovless]

Why the spoon of course!

Spoiler

utter brilliance

 

[Danpascooch]

I would probably use a bow, its quiet, and you can get about 15 feet from the zombie, and at that point, you really can't miss, but you aren't close enough to be grabbed like with a hand weapon, then you could just retrieve the arrow.

I'd use the sub par bow I had until I could loot something better.

It is intended as a weapon though. It was designed as a weapon and is used as a weapon. I mean something you can find readily around the house. A small, TV can do wonders in a pinch if you need a heavy object to strike zombies with. It doesn't even need to be capable of delivering the last blow, just something to keep the monster away from your delicious brain.

Eh, I have a bow in the house for recreation, and I don't plan on using it for any kind of combat, so I'm counting it.

Also, a small TV is a bad idea, it's not very sturdy, it's not nearly as hard as many other household objects, you could cut yourself on the glass, and blunt objects are generally a bad idea unless you can be absolutely sure they are strong enough to crush a zombie's skull (like a sledgehammer)

My point is that it can do in an emergency situation, like a one time deal. Sure there are other, better household objects in the house but maybe not in the same room. If I needed to leave town, I wouldn't lug around a TV with me. I would probably bust out my crowbar and fight towards the nearest place with real weapons, like the local RCMP detachment.

I just don't know why you even mentioned "small tv" when the other thing you just mentioned (crowbar) would literally be better in every situation. I can't see a single situation where a small tv would be useful considering zombies feel no pain

Strike it in the head to disorient it with the small tv, leave before it can get up and get a better weapon. It is a valid strategy if nothing else is around. Again, I mentioned Crowbar but from where I am sitting right now there IS no crowbar. Readily available is this tv, right beside me. If there was more than one zombie I would break the window with the tv and escape. I'm not going to try my luck going to the garage to get my crowbar if the zombie is only a few feet away.

If a zombie gets to you and all you have on hand is a small tv, you've already fucked up, and you're going to die.

Not necessarily. One zombie could be neutralized with a small TV, as long as you were careful. A runner-zombie would be harder to (re)kill, but not impossible.

If it was a runner zombie, you would be doubly fucked, but even a normal zombie, people don't seem to get it, skulls are THICK AND HARD, and you have to not only crack them, but absolutely PULVERIZE the brain within, to put a zombie down.

Could you crack a skull with a small TV in one hit? maybe, could you make a big hole in the skull and pulverize the brain within before he bites you? no fucking way/

You'd be screwed. all it takes is one bite.

 

[Rensenhito]

Golf club. It's basically designed to put a LOT of force into a VERY small surface area, so it's the perfect bludgeon.

It's also got a very thin shaft that would bend under heavy impact, surely?

That, my friend, is precisely what she said.

Oh yeah, I'd also grab my walking staff. I got one at the Renaissance Faire, and those muthas is sturdy!

 

[IronMuck]

I would probably use a bow, its quiet, and you can get about 15 feet from the zombie, and at that point, you really can't miss, but you aren't close enough to be grabbed like with a hand weapon, then you could just retrieve the arrow.

I'd use the sub par bow I had until I could loot something better.

It is intended as a weapon though. It was designed as a weapon and is used as a weapon. I mean something you can find readily around the house. A small, TV can do wonders in a pinch if you need a heavy object to strike zombies with. It doesn't even need to be capable of delivering the last blow, just something to keep the monster away from your delicious brain.

Eh, I have a bow in the house for recreation, and I don't plan on using it for any kind of combat, so I'm counting it.

Also, a small TV is a bad idea, it's not very sturdy, it's not nearly as hard as many other household objects, you could cut yourself on the glass, and blunt objects are generally a bad idea unless you can be absolutely sure they are strong enough to crush a zombie's skull (like a sledgehammer)

My point is that it can do in an emergency situation, like a one time deal. Sure there are other, better household objects in the house but maybe not in the same room. If I needed to leave town, I wouldn't lug around a TV with me. I would probably bust out my crowbar and fight towards the nearest place with real weapons, like the local RCMP detachment.

I just don't know why you even mentioned "small tv" when the other thing you just mentioned (crowbar) would literally be better in every situation. I can't see a single situation where a small tv would be useful considering zombies feel no pain

Strike it in the head to disorient it with the small tv, leave before it can get up and get a better weapon. It is a valid strategy if nothing else is around. Again, I mentioned Crowbar but from where I am sitting right now there IS no crowbar. Readily available is this tv, right beside me. If there was more than one zombie I would break the window with the tv and escape. I'm not going to try my luck going to the garage to get my crowbar if the zombie is only a few feet away.

If a zombie gets to you and all you have on hand is a small tv, you've already fucked up, and you're going to die.

Not necessarily. One zombie could be neutralized with a small TV, as long as you were careful. A runner-zombie would be harder to (re)kill, but not impossible.

If it was a runner zombie, you would be doubly fucked, but even a normal zombie, people don't seem to get it, skulls are THICK AND HARD, and you have to not only crack them, but absolutely PULVERIZE the brain within, to put a zombie down.

Could you crack a skull with a small TV in one hit? maybe, could you make a big hole in the skull and pulverize the brain within before he bites you? no fucking way/

You'd be screwed. all it takes is one bite.

You sir lack imagination; there are many ways a small tv could save your life going 1 on 1 with a zombie.
Of course it depends on the age old slow zombie versus fast zombie debate but still, whack the zombie hard enough and it will fall over, zombie falls over and you have a chance to flee the room and go get something better to actually kill it or, once the zombie falls over, you could try to repeatedly smash it's face against the floor with the tv. Also, you can smash the glass over his head and try to wedge the tv on the zombie's head, sure he's not dead but his ability to bite has suddenly and dramatically decreased with a tv set stuck on his head.
My overall message is simply that, you don't have to kill the zombie to "win".

 

[thenumberthirteen]

I have no actual effective weapons as they're generally Illegal (for good reason). So if Zombies come I'm screwed offensively. I do, however have a defensive location all planned out (2 in fact).

EDIT: 1918th post. Let us all take a minute to honour those who gave their lives in the Great War.

 

[Double A]

I'd use the butt of my M1 Grand.

After I ran out of ammo I mean.

 

[Daemascus]

Monster truck!

Just squish everything.

 

[Treblaine]

A gun, any gun, even a muzzle loading flint-lock musket is better than 99.9% of all other weapons out there.

Otherwise I'd prefer to use evasion and not fuck around with some melee weapon that is more likely to get me killed. If I am going to engage any threat it is going to be from a distance.

 

[Banana Phone Man]

Gordan Freeman style with a twist.

Spoiler: My weapon of choice

Seriously though, if I needed a non-weapon weapon right now I could use this laptop I'm typing in, the pens/pencils on my left, the keys in my pocket. If I had a choice I'd take a crowbar.

 

['-_-]

The motto of MCMAP (Marine Corps Martial Arts Program) is "One mind, Any weapon".
BTW I brought home a Roman dagger from my trip to Italy

 

[TheTim]

A very sharp stick would be my choice, or a baseball bat because its only one hit and zombie brain is smushy

 

[Tanto-chan]

Um, let's see... An object not design to be used as a weapon...

Readily available...

A chair
My printer
My laptop
My brothers guitar. He won't be happy about that
A heavy cutting board
A car door
The butt of my shotgun
The butt of my machete
That big ornamental wooden chest over there
That table
The butt of my other shotgun
That steel breadbox
That flowerpot is made of steel too, could use the dirt to blind the monsters
Crowbar for bludgeoning, screwdrivers for stabbing
Hey, there's a buzz saw in here! Buzz saw totally beats chainsaw!
Those pictures. Glass shard are good for blinding too
The table also has some heavy legs on it, those are good
The ceramic penis my roommate made me! Man, what a joker!
The car is pretty rusty, and there's some aluminum scraps in the basement. Wonder if the coffee grinder can handle aluminum...
Some cord for strangling

Can't think of any more, right now... Doesn't matter, I'm all set!

OMG I love you. I don't have shotguns or a machete (one of the few sword types I don't have one of) but the rest I agree, though the fact that I have a well stocked rustic Armory in my basement (with various pieces all over the house too) I think I'm set even without the impromptu weapons. Though funny thing my Creative Writing class just had a big talk about how impromptu weapons and who they're everywhere and are everything, that was started by this one guy writing about this kid having a nightmare that all the costumed people in Disneyland went psychotic and started massacring the people, and this kid and his friends NEVER found anything to arm themselves with (other than this one girl with serving spoons for like a second) and how that was unsatisfying as a reader since I know not all people have NO survival instinct (of defensive instinct).