Poll: What is the best non weapon?

[wwjdftw]

Golf club. It's basically designed to put a LOT of force into a VERY small surface area, so it's the perfect bludgeon.

It's also got a very thin shaft that would bend under heavy impact, surely?

OT: I would grab the nearest object to hand. Which in my case would probably be water bottles.

not if you can aim and hit with the end, which should be easy since a head il aobut 5 times bigger than a golf ball

 

[Ghored]

1st Choice: Crowbar.

Can't find a Crowbar: Fireplace Poker
Can't find above: Steak and Dagger
Out of Steak: Bone Club
Bone Club Breaks : Apache Helicopter
Out of Helicopter Fuel: Broken Beer Bottle
Enemy can't feel pain: Mega Fist
Forgot Mega Fist?: Propane Tank and something to pierce i---- hey wait.....

 

[Silva]

The Mona Lisa.

Just for the irony of beating Zombie da Vinci with his own work.

Or, more practically, a lawnmower blade. Hey, it worked for the Vault Dweller.

An original xbox. The lethalest non-weapon known to man

You're going to lug that thing around?

Also, doesn't the Xbox count as a Weapon of Mass Sound Destruction if it's connected to little kids via Live?

I'd beat them to death with an original Xbox controller.

Much more practical.

 

[Trivun]

I have a very strange mind, which incidentally makes it that much easier to write about psycho sadistic characters in my short stories. Yes, I'm probably psycho. Seriously, no joking, I would love to see a psychiatrist just for the fun of deliberately trying to screw them around when they try to assess me.

Anyway, my point is, from that, I have a strange ability to see the weapon in anything. Leaves on the ground? Choke someone with them (also useful for anything else that can be easily stuffed down a throat). Water bottle? Freeze it and then use it as a blunt instrument. Also a handy drink when you're thirsty, if you remember to clean the bloodstains off it (or not, either way's fine ;D). Bin bag? Suffocate someone. Kitchen knives? Obvious.

So in the absence of a real weapon, which I'd probably prefer (especially since I have experience at firing a semi-automatic rifle, none whatsoever at hitting people with a frozen bottle of Coca-Cola), I could turn anything near me into a weapon easily enough.

I think when the inevitable zombie apocalypse comes, I'm going to do just fine...

 

[alittlepepper]

I suppose if it came to a situation where I had to make use of something right at my desk, it'd probably be either a drinking glass or dinner plate, if I couldn't figure out where I put my knife.
But I'd only use it for long enough to get to my real weapons (rifle, shotgun, handguns). I don't really keep anything tremendously blunt and heavy around. Though I suppose in a pinch I could also bash them with my lockbox. That's pretty sturdy.

If I had my druthers (and couldn't get a real weapon)...think I'd have to go with a baseball bat or similar implement. Louisville slugger. Good reach, solid impact, won't get stuck on your enemy.

 

[Silva]

Also worth using: an ordinary nail gun. Definitely not meant to be a weapon, but keep the thing away from my face, please.

 

[madman485]

chainsaw on a rope

/thread

 

[MortisLegio]

the Crowbar in my truck

Break doors, Windows, Skulls...its just not long range

Spoiler: oh wait

nevermind

 

[sjarri]

-snip-

 

[michael_ab]

uh sonic screwdriver duh

love the referance, but the non-leathality of the sonic screwdriver is why doctor uses it. please tell me how it would be useful in a zombie invasion

 

[michael_ab]

chainsaw on a rope

/thread

/your leg

 

[DividedUnity]

The Mona Lisa.

Just for the irony of beating Zombie da Vinci with his own work.

Or, more practically, a lawnmower blade. Hey, it worked for the Vault Dweller.

An original xbox. The lethalest non-weapon known to man

You're going to lug that thing around?

Also, doesn't the Xbox count as a Weapon of Mass Sound Destruction if it's connected to little kids via Live?

I'd beat them to death with an original Xbox controller.

Much more practical.

Yeah id lug it around. Its worth the extra weight for something that could pretty much kill anything if thrown/hit with correctly

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Hit them with people.

 

[DefunctTheory]

Crowbar. I learned how to throw them (and rebar beams) pretty accurately, so I figure a 3 foot crowbar in hand, a bundle of rebar at my back, and I'll be pretty good for a while.

 

[nebtheslayer95]

<url=http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Dwarf_Bread>Dwarf bread... it's not only a weapon!

Seconded. boomerang croissant to the head from 20 yards away.

 

[typhado]

a towel, can throw it to blind the enemy, use it as a whip, wrap it around fist to avoid infection. towels 4tw.


Or if you want some overkill

Spoiler

 

[GL2814E]

Cast Iron Skillet. Trust me, you swing a Cast-Iron Skillet at something, it won't get back up.

But really I'd much rather just use an M-4. Accurate enough weapon and has plenty of civilian after-market modifications that can be added. Plus 5.56 rounds aren't exactly difficult to obtain.

 

[Gudrests]

Humm a "Non"-Weapon depends where i am home i say "dad...zombies" and we shoot things for weeks. not at my house...Freeman style crowbar id keep quite a few darts if need be. (btw im going house of the dead style slow zombies not those fast ones.)
Any kitchen knife
Chain
Rope...you never know
Part of your bedframe...(big steal bar)
a standing lamp...break the bulb and its like a spear.
lighter fluid and a lighter...
gasoline.
cans of soda or any beverage...(FULL) throw em?
thats all i can think of really... if im home tho...Samurai sword and guns anyone

Edit...Rig your lawnmower so its tiled and the blades are aiming up at sonyhting that wants to walk twards you....HA...

 

[Antari]

I'm afraid I can only answer a park bench from Deadrising

 

[jakeEHTlovless]

I would probably use a bow, its quiet, and you can get about 15 feet from the zombie, and at that point, you really can't miss, but you aren't close enough to be grabbed like with a hand weapon, then you could just retrieve the arrow.

I'd use the sub par bow I had until I could loot something better.

It is intended as a weapon though. It was designed as a weapon and is used as a weapon. I mean something you can find readily around the house. A small, TV can do wonders in a pinch if you need a heavy object to strike zombies with. It doesn't even need to be capable of delivering the last blow, just something to keep the monster away from your delicious brain.

Eh, I have a bow in the house for recreation, and I don't plan on using it for any kind of combat, so I'm counting it.

Also, a small TV is a bad idea, it's not very sturdy, it's not nearly as hard as many other household objects, you could cut yourself on the glass, and blunt objects are generally a bad idea unless you can be absolutely sure they are strong enough to crush a zombie's skull (like a sledgehammer)

My point is that it can do in an emergency situation, like a one time deal. Sure there are other, better household objects in the house but maybe not in the same room. If I needed to leave town, I wouldn't lug around a TV with me. I would probably bust out my crowbar and fight towards the nearest place with real weapons, like the local RCMP detachment.

I just don't know why you even mentioned "small tv" when the other thing you just mentioned (crowbar) would literally be better in every situation. I can't see a single situation where a small tv would be useful considering zombies feel no pain

Strike it in the head to disorient it with the small tv, leave before it can get up and get a better weapon. It is a valid strategy if nothing else is around. Again, I mentioned Crowbar but from where I am sitting right now there IS no crowbar. Readily available is this tv, right beside me. If there was more than one zombie I would break the window with the tv and escape. I'm not going to try my luck going to the garage to get my crowbar if the zombie is only a few feet away.

If a zombie gets to you and all you have on hand is a small tv, you've already fucked up, and you're going to die.

Not necessarily. One zombie could be neutralized with a small TV, as long as you were careful. A runner-zombie would be harder to (re)kill, but not impossible.

If it was a runner zombie, you would be doubly fucked, but even a normal zombie, people don't seem to get it, skulls are THICK AND HARD, and you have to not only crack them, but absolutely PULVERIZE the brain within, to put a zombie down.

Could you crack a skull with a small TV in one hit? maybe, could you make a big hole in the skull and pulverize the brain within before he bites you? no fucking way/

You'd be screwed. all it takes is one bite.

unless you have the super secret "on the top shelf that no one can reach" antidote.