EDIT TO THE FRONT: Man, I just "talk" way too much, especially when I drink.
I'm sure I have said this before, but I think the thing about getting a girl or woman into gaming is that the game has to be sufficiently appealing to overcome whatever initial reluctance she may have. In other words, it has to be a GOOD GAME. As jim-doki said, "current aesthetic is very much, to coin a phrase, testosterriffic with all its explosions and gunplay and chainsawing innocent freaks in the face." See, I think the problem is not as much with the violence, though some women really do find that offensive (so do some men), the problem is that plain ol' chainsaw-gun-esplodey is just not very interesting, as Yahtzee points out when he repeatedly condemns games as run-of-the-mill and bland.
Why would any woman overcome the deterrents of social conditioning, getting pissed at her boyfriend who can't just sit back and let someone else learn a game from the absolute ground up without getting impatient at her lack of skill (even if he isn't the sort of guy who would do this, she will probably fear the possibility), and being made to feel a fool because she keeps confusing the Look and Move thumbsticks or hitting the wrong keys on the keyboard while the person who is teaching her merrily blasts his way through the level in an ego-crushing display of ballistic grace--why would any woman overcome all that for a bland, run-of-the-mill, lackluster game? Or why would any guy sit through the testicle-shrivelling ordeal of being repeatedly pwned by the "friend" who was trying to teach him something he didn't find particularly compelling in the first place? Especially when she probably has other stuff that needs doing, and he can easily find entertainment elsewhere?
In the final analysis, I don't think it's the locker-room smell of testosterone that drives women (or non-gamer guys) away from gaming so much as it is the simple reek of shit.
I sat around watching guys play video games for years before I saw one that looked interesting enough to bother to learn. Periodically, I'd give a game a shot then quit after maybe 30 minutes because it was repetitive or unintuitive or just really frustrating. (Plus the sneaking self-doubt that I was just too uncoordinated or dumb to figure it out.) Then I went back and talked over those old games with some of the guys I knew who helped me learn to play, and that's when they confirmed it for me: the games I had tried were repetitive or unintuitive or just had a certain section in a certain level that was known to be just absurd in some way or other and guess where I had thrown down the controller in disgust, oh so many years ago.
I don't think the key is to make more dating sims, I think the key is to make more Beyond Good and Evils, more Prince of Persias (I've heard several women mention in conversation that they liked that game), and more Bioshocks--I noticed a number of people mentioned hooking friends and family on Bioshock, which is rather violent, yes?--and more Mario Karts. (Though I can't play Mario games of any sort because Mario looks like a wee, cartoon Ron Jeremy, which I find irrationally irritating, but I'm rather strange. We know this.)
Um, I'm wandering now, aren't I... *set down cabernet*
*puts down mouse, picks up cabernet*
Priorities, it's all about priorities...
