Continuing from the other thread.KiruCookie said:Alright,Time for me to drop my badass Internet anonymity for a moment. I was taught,by any figure in my family on the male side,the very same thing. My Uncle,Grandfather,Great Grandfather,Father,Even my Cousin in law,who was about 22 at the time,when I was 9. I learnt from my Grandfather the most,as my dad always worked,its never okay to cry in front of Women,the ones you love,the scum of the world,and children. Crying shows your not to be depended on,and your weak. I've gone with this as one of my morals for most of my life. I also learnt it was more than OK,even liberating,to ponder on your thoughts,and when you reconceliate how your lifes been,how happy,sad,infuriating...And let out all your pains with tears.
In short?Its alright to cry,but never when anyone else will be hurt because your crying. Use a hard shell when needed. Just don't cry in front of others.
I agree with the first part (shouldn't show emotion) but not with the other two. Society lets us feel, just not outwardly so.Jaded Scribe said:This falls into the current social norms that men shouldn't show emotion, and are incapable of feeling any true emotion and are emotionally shallow.
Very true. It could be argued that woman like men who play "hard to get", more so than the other way around.Elle-Jai said:The guys I know that have the limited appeal of a "good guy" are usually really sweet guys. EXCEPT. They can't make the first move, they're desperate, have low self-esteem and are so busy putting you up on a pedestal that they didn't notice the Challenge, the guy who couldn't care less about that pansy worship stuff and who swept you off the pedestal. Rarely, if ever, can you build a life with Mr Tatts-In-Service guy. If Good Guy could only get their act together long enough to at least seem like they have a vision of where they want to go in life, and to see something they want and chase it down with single-minded determination (you), they'd stand a chance. I'm all for being worshipped. But I already own dogs, I don't need any new puppies panting after me, no matter how adorable their big, deep green eyes might be.
Ever head of a thing called empathy?Erik C said:Most of the people who say yes...Either A are very lonely and desperate. Or they LOVE...I mean LOVE wasting their time. Seriously its called THEIR problems for a reason.
Blame Silent Lycoris. The splitting of threads was his idea. It's two sides of the same coin, but it's pretty hard to get people to respond to both questions in one thread :/ Although I am kind of happy that my first ever threads are actually "popular" lolKiruCookie said:Also,The top 2 popular threads at once?Damn.
How sad, you don't know the difference between a good guy and a pansy...or maybe you've only met good guys who happen to be pansies.Elle-Jai said:It's true that "good guys" come last, but let's define "good guy" shall we??
The guys I know that have the limited appeal of a "good guy" are usually really sweet guys. EXCEPT. They can't make the first move, they're desperate, have low self-esteem and are so busy putting you up on a pedestal that they didn't notice the Challenge, the guy who couldn't care less about that pansy worship stuff and who swept you off the pedestal. Rarely, if ever, can you build a life with Mr Tatts-In-Service guy. If Good Guy could only get their act together long enough to at least seem like they have a vision of where they want to go in life, and to see something they want and chase it down with single-minded determination (you), they'd stand a chance. I'm all for being worshipped. But I already own dogs, I don't need any new puppies panting after me, no matter how adorable their big, deep green eyes might be.
Alright, I admit it. I want a paradox. Why? Because I'm a paradox. Every woman ever born is a paradox. One who needs to be connected to on the soul-level. Whose deeper instincts need to be recognised and revered as much as she needs a man who is self-aware enough, intuitive enough, to notice her paradox; that man will always get her first, second, and forever glances because he's the only one who can truly see her.Akalistos said:Yet it not who they are but what they do. They ignore you! That what drove you to it. And if you do get in, it for sex. Good guy like you, they put you on a pedestal because they care. You want a guy that don't care about you and yet is a good guy. YOU WANT A PARADOX. And by the way, even if a good guy has enough self-esteem. YOU WON'T CARE BECAUSE HE WILL PUT YOU ON THE PEDESTAL. Hence the fact that good guy get brush aside and get low self-esteem.
And you know what, Women are all the same. They want everything and more and blame it on others. It make me so mad....
LOL! You have no idea how true that is.... But Akalistos' paradox idea isn't too bad. And it's not quite as impossible as it sounds.jboking said:How sad, you don't know the difference between a good guy and a pansy...or maybe you've only met good guys who happen to be pansies.
OMG finally someone who gets it!! I need to prtscr this so I can start trying to post into the ears of my friends while they're sleeping :S Maybe then it'll finally sink in lolMortons4ck said:OT: I'd probably sit down next to her, ask her what's wrong, listen but give minimal input (only enough to get her to move more of it out of her system), and possibly add a reassuring hand-on-shoulder if I knew her well enough (I read that it supposedly makes people feel better). I would NOT offer advice to said girl. They want a sympathetic ear, not someone to fix their problems (all-too-common pitfall).
This guy sums it up nicely.Aby_Z said:If there was no one else there I'd go up and ask what's wrong. If it was a room full of people but no one moved to do anything for a while, then I'd go and ask her what's wrong (to clarify, I'd wait to see if anyone came, then I'd go talk to her.)
It's all dependent on her looks there, though. It may sound shallow, but hey, I like my women pretty...
Best bet is to do the following: Say "Alright, well, I'm just going to sit here with you, and when you feel ready to talk about it, I'm going to listen." Don't offer solutions, don't feel like you're not helping coz just having someone there WILLING to listen to you is often the most helpful, wonderful thing anyone can do.Robby Foxfur said:Me:"whats wrong?"
(some talking to me)
Me:"aww i'm sorry""can i help?"
Her:"not really..."
Me:"ok" *sits there staring into the middle distance*
Alright, I give in, can SOMEONE please start describing a "pretty girl" to me?! I'm guessing my idea is quite different from yours.Jekken6 said:This guy sums it up nicely.Aby_Z said:If there was no one else there I'd go up and ask what's wrong. If it was a room full of people but no one moved to do anything for a while, then I'd go and ask her what's wrong (to clarify, I'd wait to see if anyone came, then I'd go talk to her.)
It's all dependent on her looks there, though. It may sound shallow, but hey, I like my women pretty...