Poll: Which Fictitious Foot Soldier Would it Suck to be the Most?
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How about the conscript in Red Alert 2? You are literally cannon fodder and only badass when you have twenty or so comrades behind you, you will die in waves and in horrible ways.
Seriously, I tend to lose count of how many conscripts I needlessly sacrifice when I play that game.
Shut up, listen to the propaganda, pick up your AK and die in the name of Mother Russia! (even though Iraq was much better)
Seriously, I tend to lose count of how many conscripts I needlessly sacrifice when I play that game.
Shut up, listen to the propaganda, pick up your AK and die in the name of Mother Russia! (even though Iraq was much better)
The Guard. You will die. Whatever you're facing you will die in a wide variety of unremittingly nasty ways.
Also, to the troll complaining about his pwecious ickle Terrible Marines not getting a look-in, GROW THE HELL UP. People don't get what they want no matter how much they believe in themselves. Disney lied to you, little one, and I wish I could say I was sorry for that.
Also, to the troll complaining about his pwecious ickle Terrible Marines not getting a look-in, GROW THE HELL UP. People don't get what they want no matter how much they believe in themselves. Disney lied to you, little one, and I wish I could say I was sorry for that.
Imperial Guardsmen... The average lifespan of one as soon as they reach the battlefield is about 15 seconds max.
If you manage to survive a few decades of that... then shit gets turned around and they give you bionic enhancements, better guns and some halfway decent armor. Welcome fellow Kasirkin... or Strom Trooper if you prefer. These guys just kick ass...
But they have to get there first.
If you manage to survive a few decades of that... then shit gets turned around and they give you bionic enhancements, better guns and some halfway decent armor. Welcome fellow Kasirkin... or Strom Trooper if you prefer. These guys just kick ass...
But they have to get there first.
Colonial Marine is the worst, you get alien eggs laid inside you, sometimes whilst you are still alive...
Imperial guard at least die fairly quickly and you don't die alone
and starship troopers have Rico, the badass on their side. THEY CAN'T LOSE!!!
the rest just die, but not as much as guardsmen
Imperial guard at least die fairly quickly and you don't die alone
and starship troopers have Rico, the badass on their side. THEY CAN'T LOSE!!!
the rest just die, but not as much as guardsmen
Sci-Fi luver437 said:
1. Please do not post videos as a form of self-reference, you really aren't that important, and someone is not a troll simply because their opinions differ from yours.
2. I have played 40K since....1997, I would think. I 'get' space marines better than you, and any of your bolter and chainsword kin. The concept is Games Workshop thought: "Let's sell this to children, so we'll make it the purest, unsubtle awesome of bleakest death and cool, with a sprinkling of win and amazing" and conveniently forgot the part where the other players all laughed at the Space Marine players for playing the most boring army in the game.
3. My precise point is, being a Smurf sucks. You don't get to have fun. All you get to is fight, then die, if you're lucky in a couple of centuaries time, if you're unlucky, in your first battle.
4. 1000 very very bright colours. Look more like a circus than an army.
5. No, they really can't. When it comes down to it, they're just men with some extra armour, training and all that. Sure, one space marine will kick a normal man in the face so hard it'll stove in his skull, but put one space marine against a hundred trained Guardsmen and you're looking at one extremely cooked space marine and 97 very smug Guardsmen.
Ahh, but that all leads up to one very important thing - despite being armoured in bog roll and armed with a flashlight, they're still badass enough to take on most enemies the galaxy can throw at them and win. It's a huge part of the Eisenhorn series - they expect their enemies to be more powerful and their enemies sorely underestimate them, giving them a surprising advantage.Kollega said:
This goes double for Catachan Jungle Fighters, who habitually take on and wipe out Chaos Marine legions while being outnumbered and only wearing combat trousers and a bandana.
That's doubled again by the old school Last Chancers, who can happily kill Daemon Princes when there are only twelve of them.
Sorry its just so rare someone says stuff like that. Really, really, really rare.Rolling Thunder said:
Know to rebut your 5th fact. A space marine is wearing unbreakable armour. But in the 41st millieum things change. I'll even tell you how it would happen. Its very rare to have 1 marine alone. If it was, he'd be a lone space marine that needs help and the gaurdsman out of fear and respect and karma. If they're renegade they'd try and capture him or contain or kill. Which then means the marine would want to escape and kill em all. But the imps would have tanks or some other stronger weapoanary and probably some demons. If they're smart and they probably are. But they'd be leaded by a leader. So they'd be hiding their taint. By that time they would kill the marine. But then, the space marine would start killing the nearest imp. He would use them as human shields but he wont use their weapons for it is heresy. 97 imps? They'd be dead before they smile.
And there could be a chance its a commander or captain or some other strong tough lone leader. Nuff said for that.
Also are you not allowed to put up videos for self-defence? Because I see it alot.
But are we really talking the TT here? I'm leaning on fluff.
Being a space marine isn't just writing a letter. Getting through camp and then viola! I will suicide if anyone in the escapist have what it takes to be a space marine. If we're talking TT then fluff. Well then.... no one told me. You see I was talking fluff and some other elements. Just what happens when you talk about something that has a lot of formats.
Yea but at least the red ones didn't die from one hit from the dragon, you had to jump off the dragon and one shot em that way and those archers are pretty freakin' accurate whereas the dragon could be in a coma and a stormtropper would not only miss it, but die himself inexplicablySliverlord said:Imperial Guard, you have to out number the enemy 20-1 just to have have an even fight. Gak! at least storm troopers have sweet uniforms, and Bond henchmen have a dental plan
does anyone remember Drakengard 1? the alliance soldiers truly blow in that game, can barely last long enough for Caim to burn them to death with his own dragonfire.
Lol while everyone is right about how bad it sucks to be a Guardsman, no one has really managed to convey just how really effing bad they have it. So allow me to attempt to sum it all up in one post.
Now we all know that the average life expectancy for a regular Guardsman in the illustrious Imperial Guard is approximately 15 hours. But that just doesn't tell the whole story. The real joys are not only in what they have to fight, but their daily existence as a whole.
To start with almost every single Guardsman is in the Guard against his or her will. Be it mandatory drafts as part of their home planets Imperial Tithe, punishment for crimes they committed, or simply plain desperation due to a terrible lot in life, most of the Guard would prefer to be ANYTHING else, save maybe a servitor. They lose all "rights" as an Imperial citizen and therefore have no possible future life other than the Guard. They are in it for the long haul.
Next up comes training. This usually happens on the more hellish parts of the particular Guardsman's home planet, and anyone who knows their fluff can tell you there are MANY worlds out there whos best areas are worse than anything here on earth. Soooo after some hellish training that can and does result in deaths (either through the training itself or execusions of those unwilling to go any further), the unfortunate individual is inducted as a private into the ranks of the Immortal Emporer's Glorious Imperial Guard. To this end his is issued a set of gear that differs on most worlds but commonly includes such items as Flak Armor, a Helmet, and the ubiquitous Lasgun (or Flashlight). This gear is sufficient enough to keep the lucky individual alive when not fighting (most of the time) and allows him to have a percentage chance of scoring at least 1 kill before his horrible death (though some very lucky few can escape from a battle victorious with naught but the lightest of armourments). If the Guardsman is one of the very very lucky and skilled few, he might even earn the honor of being promoted and gaining better gear. Half the time this gear only increases his chance of death due to the fact that his own weapon is likely to kill him (see any plasma weapons). He might even be granted the right to wear armor as advanced as Carapace armor which actually has a slight chance of stopping a single bolter round! (though heavy bolters are still very out of the question). But with rank comes even more danger. The Guardsman who makes sergeant is expected to lead his squad from the front, and keep discipline in the squad. Failure to preform any of these duties to the best of his ability has a very strong chance of seeing him executed by the friendly neighborhood Regimental Commisar via bolt pistol round to the head. So generally, the higher one rises in the ranks, the more likely they are to die.
Also this might be a good place to mention the regulations and punishments of the Imperial Guard. I will start just by listing the offenses punishable by death by shooting: Disrespecting an Officer, Failure to Salute and Officer, Striking an Officer, Failure to Carry Out an Order, Disobeying an Order, Ill-Treatment of Neglect of Accoutrements, Disrespectful Speach Towards the Emporer (flogged then shot), Mutiny, Intoxicated on Duty (flogged then shot), Sleeping on Sentry Duty, Leaving Sentry Duty Without Leave, Cowardice, Inflicting Self Harm (flogged, flayed alive, then shot), Compelling a Surrender, Crimes During Insurrection, Crimes of Fraud Against the Imperium, Desertion. There are many other crimes punishable by such punishments as: Death by Hanging, Being Sent to a Penal Legion, Death by Starvation, and Being Mind Scrubbed and Turned Into a Servitor. Needless to say, NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.... EVER.
Now, on to vehicles. Everyone knows the Imperial Guard quite simply has a hard-on for tanks. They field litterally a mind boggling number tanks, of many many different types. The problem is every single one of these tanks is designed along a thought process very similar to American tanks in World War 2. Simply put, field so many that no matter how many you lose, you have enough to win the battle. You lost 90% of your tank core in a battle versus a much smaller force? Huzzah! Another glorious victory for the Imperium! We will have all 900 tanks lost replaced by next tuesday. Being in one of these machines is simply not good. Their armor is light and their weapons strong. All offense, no defense. Which means when one of these babies is hit by an enemy weapon, there is a staggering number of horrible ways to die. Battle Cannon rounds detonating, Heavy Bolter shells cooking off INSIDE the hull, promethium vats going up in flames, Lascannon generators overheating, and Emporer help you if an Earthshaker round goes off anywhere other than FAAAR downrange. In short, their vehicles are NOT a place you ever want to be (although being on foot is probably not any safer).
Moving on we have all of the fun of simply getting to the battle in the first place! So your being deployed to a planet approximately 4 weeks warp travel from here? Cool! Seeing you in 1000 years. Maybe. Or maybe tomorrow. Or maybe never. Your Gellar field could very well fail and all of a sudden the warp is no longer outside your little bubble. I hope you have time to get your pistol to your head and pull the trigger if that happens. Simply put, Warp Travel SUCKS! It sucks for Space Marines so lets multiply that by 100 for your average Guardsman. And lets not forget the dangers of enemy ships. Enormous shipborn Lance weapons tearing your transport into pieces. Fun fun for you!
And finally we can look at the enemies these lucky men and women get to fight. Starting off we will look at the forces usually allied to the Imperial Guard. The Adeptus Astartes, the Space Marines. These enormous, genetically altered, power armor wearing killing machines are death incarnate for a Guardsman. Not only can their basic armor stop anything short of a tank-killing weapon, but their standard issue weapon is an enormous rifle that fires a .75 caliber mass-reactive, armor-piercing shell that contains its own miniature grenade that explodes inside the target after the bullet portion has lodged itself in the enemy. This is the basic Bolt round. Makes your Lasgun look like it was made to toast bread. Even if their armor is pierced they can simply ignore many wounds that would have each killed a normal man. And these are their basic infantry. Mention of things such as the collossal form of the Dreadnought walker, Land Raider battle-tank and Tactical Dreadnought Armor (or Terminator Armor) is enough to make any Guardsman who finds himself facing these foes soiling himself.
A more and more common foe for the Guard to fight is the Tyranid Swarm. Honestly every single Guardsman fighting a Hive Fleet will die, in a very very very terrible way. A bolter shell to the head is mercifully swift compared to these beasts. Not only are they covered in all sorts of claws, teeth, talons, and other ripping horrors, but their weapon symbiotes are just horrific. The Barbed Strangler fires thorned vines that entangle enemys and then slash and strangle them to death. The Flesh Borers fire acidic flesh eating worms that eat through armor and then feast on the victims internal organs. Devourers fire swarms of razor sharp burrowing insects that upon contact simply start burrowing through their prey until they go out the other side. Zoanthropes use their minds to open holes in the warp and create blasts of raw warp energy that vaporizes anything caught in it. Carnifex tear infantry and tanks to shreds like they were paper. And to add to all the fun, there are probably many more Tyranids in the fight than there are Guardsman, so they dont even have the advantage of numbers.
I would go on to talk about the terrible torture of the Dark Eldar, the insanely deadly weapons of the Eldar (whos basic guns shoots monofilament shurikens into you), the overwhelming brutality of the Orks, the sheer invincibility of the Necrons, the ungodly horrors of the Chaos Space Marines (all the fun of Space Marines plus daemons, YAY!) but I think everyone gets the idea.
In summation, if you are ever drafted into the Imperial Guard, just put the pistol to your head and get it over with. I garuntee its probably a much less painful and easier death than your likely to get.
P.S. I didnt mention Tau because quite frankly, even a Guardsman can laugh at tau lol.
Now we all know that the average life expectancy for a regular Guardsman in the illustrious Imperial Guard is approximately 15 hours. But that just doesn't tell the whole story. The real joys are not only in what they have to fight, but their daily existence as a whole.
To start with almost every single Guardsman is in the Guard against his or her will. Be it mandatory drafts as part of their home planets Imperial Tithe, punishment for crimes they committed, or simply plain desperation due to a terrible lot in life, most of the Guard would prefer to be ANYTHING else, save maybe a servitor. They lose all "rights" as an Imperial citizen and therefore have no possible future life other than the Guard. They are in it for the long haul.
Next up comes training. This usually happens on the more hellish parts of the particular Guardsman's home planet, and anyone who knows their fluff can tell you there are MANY worlds out there whos best areas are worse than anything here on earth. Soooo after some hellish training that can and does result in deaths (either through the training itself or execusions of those unwilling to go any further), the unfortunate individual is inducted as a private into the ranks of the Immortal Emporer's Glorious Imperial Guard. To this end his is issued a set of gear that differs on most worlds but commonly includes such items as Flak Armor, a Helmet, and the ubiquitous Lasgun (or Flashlight). This gear is sufficient enough to keep the lucky individual alive when not fighting (most of the time) and allows him to have a percentage chance of scoring at least 1 kill before his horrible death (though some very lucky few can escape from a battle victorious with naught but the lightest of armourments). If the Guardsman is one of the very very lucky and skilled few, he might even earn the honor of being promoted and gaining better gear. Half the time this gear only increases his chance of death due to the fact that his own weapon is likely to kill him (see any plasma weapons). He might even be granted the right to wear armor as advanced as Carapace armor which actually has a slight chance of stopping a single bolter round! (though heavy bolters are still very out of the question). But with rank comes even more danger. The Guardsman who makes sergeant is expected to lead his squad from the front, and keep discipline in the squad. Failure to preform any of these duties to the best of his ability has a very strong chance of seeing him executed by the friendly neighborhood Regimental Commisar via bolt pistol round to the head. So generally, the higher one rises in the ranks, the more likely they are to die.
Also this might be a good place to mention the regulations and punishments of the Imperial Guard. I will start just by listing the offenses punishable by death by shooting: Disrespecting an Officer, Failure to Salute and Officer, Striking an Officer, Failure to Carry Out an Order, Disobeying an Order, Ill-Treatment of Neglect of Accoutrements, Disrespectful Speach Towards the Emporer (flogged then shot), Mutiny, Intoxicated on Duty (flogged then shot), Sleeping on Sentry Duty, Leaving Sentry Duty Without Leave, Cowardice, Inflicting Self Harm (flogged, flayed alive, then shot), Compelling a Surrender, Crimes During Insurrection, Crimes of Fraud Against the Imperium, Desertion. There are many other crimes punishable by such punishments as: Death by Hanging, Being Sent to a Penal Legion, Death by Starvation, and Being Mind Scrubbed and Turned Into a Servitor. Needless to say, NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING WRONG.... EVER.
Now, on to vehicles. Everyone knows the Imperial Guard quite simply has a hard-on for tanks. They field litterally a mind boggling number tanks, of many many different types. The problem is every single one of these tanks is designed along a thought process very similar to American tanks in World War 2. Simply put, field so many that no matter how many you lose, you have enough to win the battle. You lost 90% of your tank core in a battle versus a much smaller force? Huzzah! Another glorious victory for the Imperium! We will have all 900 tanks lost replaced by next tuesday. Being in one of these machines is simply not good. Their armor is light and their weapons strong. All offense, no defense. Which means when one of these babies is hit by an enemy weapon, there is a staggering number of horrible ways to die. Battle Cannon rounds detonating, Heavy Bolter shells cooking off INSIDE the hull, promethium vats going up in flames, Lascannon generators overheating, and Emporer help you if an Earthshaker round goes off anywhere other than FAAAR downrange. In short, their vehicles are NOT a place you ever want to be (although being on foot is probably not any safer).
Moving on we have all of the fun of simply getting to the battle in the first place! So your being deployed to a planet approximately 4 weeks warp travel from here? Cool! Seeing you in 1000 years. Maybe. Or maybe tomorrow. Or maybe never. Your Gellar field could very well fail and all of a sudden the warp is no longer outside your little bubble. I hope you have time to get your pistol to your head and pull the trigger if that happens. Simply put, Warp Travel SUCKS! It sucks for Space Marines so lets multiply that by 100 for your average Guardsman. And lets not forget the dangers of enemy ships. Enormous shipborn Lance weapons tearing your transport into pieces. Fun fun for you!
And finally we can look at the enemies these lucky men and women get to fight. Starting off we will look at the forces usually allied to the Imperial Guard. The Adeptus Astartes, the Space Marines. These enormous, genetically altered, power armor wearing killing machines are death incarnate for a Guardsman. Not only can their basic armor stop anything short of a tank-killing weapon, but their standard issue weapon is an enormous rifle that fires a .75 caliber mass-reactive, armor-piercing shell that contains its own miniature grenade that explodes inside the target after the bullet portion has lodged itself in the enemy. This is the basic Bolt round. Makes your Lasgun look like it was made to toast bread. Even if their armor is pierced they can simply ignore many wounds that would have each killed a normal man. And these are their basic infantry. Mention of things such as the collossal form of the Dreadnought walker, Land Raider battle-tank and Tactical Dreadnought Armor (or Terminator Armor) is enough to make any Guardsman who finds himself facing these foes soiling himself.
A more and more common foe for the Guard to fight is the Tyranid Swarm. Honestly every single Guardsman fighting a Hive Fleet will die, in a very very very terrible way. A bolter shell to the head is mercifully swift compared to these beasts. Not only are they covered in all sorts of claws, teeth, talons, and other ripping horrors, but their weapon symbiotes are just horrific. The Barbed Strangler fires thorned vines that entangle enemys and then slash and strangle them to death. The Flesh Borers fire acidic flesh eating worms that eat through armor and then feast on the victims internal organs. Devourers fire swarms of razor sharp burrowing insects that upon contact simply start burrowing through their prey until they go out the other side. Zoanthropes use their minds to open holes in the warp and create blasts of raw warp energy that vaporizes anything caught in it. Carnifex tear infantry and tanks to shreds like they were paper. And to add to all the fun, there are probably many more Tyranids in the fight than there are Guardsman, so they dont even have the advantage of numbers.
I would go on to talk about the terrible torture of the Dark Eldar, the insanely deadly weapons of the Eldar (whos basic guns shoots monofilament shurikens into you), the overwhelming brutality of the Orks, the sheer invincibility of the Necrons, the ungodly horrors of the Chaos Space Marines (all the fun of Space Marines plus daemons, YAY!) but I think everyone gets the idea.
In summation, if you are ever drafted into the Imperial Guard, just put the pistol to your head and get it over with. I garuntee its probably a much less painful and easier death than your likely to get.
P.S. I didnt mention Tau because quite frankly, even a Guardsman can laugh at tau lol.
The guardsman. On the most lethal battlefield in the history of the universe you must face down the myriad enemies of man with little more than a flack jacket and a rifle that is barely sufficient for the purpose. You would face enemies who can leverage fear into a lethal force, who wield weapons that deconstruct your body at a molecular level, who are capable of capturing and devouring your very soul and the only thing you have on your side is sheer weight in firepower. There can be no victory in this world and the mere thought of survival is a distant dream.
All the rest face easy challenges in comparison.
Stormtroopers are the best equipped, best trained infantry in the galaxy. I can hardly feel any sympathy for them.
The mobile infantry may face a foe that is without number and without fear but they have the power of the fleet behind them. The losses are high but one can certainly see victory.
The Halo Grunts are fighting a losing war but they have at least managed to prove themelves equal to the enemy. The war was being lost not on the ground but in space. Simply put, no matter how long these marines could hold their ground, the Navy simply could not match the power of the Covenant fleets. Planets were lost not because they were conquered on the ground but rather glassed from the sky.
Bond henchmen generally chose to be in their field. I have no sympathy for those who would willingly support comic book evil and stand in opposition to the unstoppable force of James Bond. Were I such a henchman, the moment Bond appeared I'd give my notice and skip town. I woudln't need to worry about being followed either - bond would clearly take care of that problem for me.
The LOTR Orcs were easily the equal to any man or elf who stood against them. Moreover, they also enjoyed superior numbers and only lost the war because the ring was destroyed. They had every hope of victory and their existance in general seems to trive on bloodshed and violence. Why would I mourn my fate when the only reason for my existance was glorious battle?
Finally, the colonial maraines are hardly worth mentioning. While they certainly suffered a defeat on LV-426, I would point out that this is likely an isolated problem of logistics and command/control more than anything. The marines were deployed in a formation under platoon strength - only slightly more than a modern infantry squad. Even with the odds completely turned against them they still managed to bag dozens of aliens before the end. Were they sent in resonable strength of a company or more (the smallest unit that would seem reasonable for the opration as companies are the smallest independent maneuver element) I would suspect they would have resolved the problem with little trouble. Scouting teams would have encountered the aliens leaving the marines free to contain and then formulate and execute a plan to eradicate the problem.
All the rest face easy challenges in comparison.
Stormtroopers are the best equipped, best trained infantry in the galaxy. I can hardly feel any sympathy for them.
The mobile infantry may face a foe that is without number and without fear but they have the power of the fleet behind them. The losses are high but one can certainly see victory.
The Halo Grunts are fighting a losing war but they have at least managed to prove themelves equal to the enemy. The war was being lost not on the ground but in space. Simply put, no matter how long these marines could hold their ground, the Navy simply could not match the power of the Covenant fleets. Planets were lost not because they were conquered on the ground but rather glassed from the sky.
Bond henchmen generally chose to be in their field. I have no sympathy for those who would willingly support comic book evil and stand in opposition to the unstoppable force of James Bond. Were I such a henchman, the moment Bond appeared I'd give my notice and skip town. I woudln't need to worry about being followed either - bond would clearly take care of that problem for me.
The LOTR Orcs were easily the equal to any man or elf who stood against them. Moreover, they also enjoyed superior numbers and only lost the war because the ring was destroyed. They had every hope of victory and their existance in general seems to trive on bloodshed and violence. Why would I mourn my fate when the only reason for my existance was glorious battle?
Finally, the colonial maraines are hardly worth mentioning. While they certainly suffered a defeat on LV-426, I would point out that this is likely an isolated problem of logistics and command/control more than anything. The marines were deployed in a formation under platoon strength - only slightly more than a modern infantry squad. Even with the odds completely turned against them they still managed to bag dozens of aliens before the end. Were they sent in resonable strength of a company or more (the smallest unit that would seem reasonable for the opration as companies are the smallest independent maneuver element) I would suspect they would have resolved the problem with little trouble. Scouting teams would have encountered the aliens leaving the marines free to contain and then formulate and execute a plan to eradicate the problem.
Where is the option for Marine from Starcraft? Can you imgain how bad it would suck to see a wave of Zerglings or Zealots Running at you?