Poll: why can't students love their teachers?

[lord's voken]

Every so often you'll hear about some teacher or NFL cheerleader getting throw in jail cause she made love to high school student somewhere. my question is though, why is this even a crime? i read a story once about a 24 year old teacher getting jail time for sleeping with her 21 year old student. I'm not saying that i want to see people sleeping with 13 old kids, thats gross. but when a person becomes oh 16, 17 and they getting to be horny as all get out, what should it matter how much older their lover is or even if its their teacher?

who hasn't wanted to date one of their teachers going up? i just dont understand what all the hallo unboo is about. maybe its cause that being 22 years old have only dated women 10-18 years older than me, that im not understanding this. It wasnt all that long ago that people used to get married at 15, 16 years old. if its consensual and no party is manipulating the other, then just treat it like every other relationship. no one should be doing jail time for who they love. there is nothing about this may december relationship that automatically make them wrong.

ps yes, the teachers shouldnt abuse their power but that also applies to every other case as well.

 

[Frission]

Because we have to set a limit and teachers aren't supposed to fuck students? That teachers may be preying on student's in these situations.

I thought threads like these had died.

Yes 18 is arbitrary. As arbitrary as 16 or 20 or 21. We must decide on a limit and we decided on 18. Deal with it.

(Or 16 if that's the age of consent in your country).

EDIT:Not to mention the whole part about the power balance.

 

[xmbts]

Because teachers are instructors and it's hard to retain professionalism with someone you're boinking, not mentioning that said boink-y would likely receive special treatment.

Kind of like how therapists can lose their license for getting too intimate with clients.

I won't say 16 or 17 year olds shouldn't be having sex but when it's with someone much older it's usually more them being taken advantage of rather than genuine affection.

 

[The Night Angel]

I took a year out of college to teach English abroad, and would never have even considered sleeping with any of my students, regardless of age. I think in most cases teachers wouldn't go through with such a relationship regardless of age, simply based on their moral codes. You just don't sleep with someone you in any way hold a position of power over. I don't think that it should be illegal if both are of age, but I think the workplace should have the right to fire their teachers over such conduct.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

no one should be doing jail time for who they love.

It's not for who they love, it's for who they fuck.

 

[burningdragoon]

Is it statutory rape? Then yes, the teacher should be prosecuted.

Is it not statutory rape? Then the teacher shouldn't get thrown in jail, but should get in trouble (through the school).

If they can keep their relationship a secret until the teacher-student dynamic no longer applies, then they beat the system.

Also,
who hasn't wanted to date one of their teachers going up?

I'm gonna say for most people, that's not the case unless you're in college and have a relatively young teacher.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Well, even when you only count the incidents where both parties are over the age of consent and it is consensual (and I mean actually consensual, the student consenting while under any kind of duress, even duress that they put on themselves, doesn't count) then it's still wrong because a teacher is supposed to have an equal duty of care to all their students, and sleeping with one of them ruins that balance entirely. The other students will start seeing preferential treatment in every decision the teacher makes, even if that's not the teacher's intent, and as a result the authority of that teacher is undermined. Even if the teacher makes an effort to keep the classroom environment entirely professional, how is the student in the relationship supposed to feel when they get dressed down for something by their lover in front of all their peers?

Whether a situation like that would deserve the same jail time as any other instance is a more complicated matter. However, it's definitely not ok.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Duty of care. There's a power imbalance there, which poses a serious problem. Various jobs have rules against dating someone of less standing without the company, it's not unusual.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Duty of care. There's a power imbalance there, which poses a serious problem. Various jobs have rules against dating someone of less standing without the company, it's not unusual.

Beaten to the punch.

Doctors cannot and should not date patients if the relationship is formed while under care. The doctor patient and student teacher relationship is pretty open for abuse. One party is placing their emotional and or physical development in the hands of another person and forming a pretty tight trust bond. It would be fairly easy to try and turn that affection toward you as a mentor/protector figure into romantic affection by emotionally manipulating a person or applying a little bit of pressure. Its pretty insidious but our brains make it super easy to confuse the two because we associate caring and nurturing behavior with romantic affection. The innate dependence of the teacher student/doctor patient relationship makes it a pretty unfair emotional environment for the "Lower" one of the pair.

If you meet up with an EX teacher or EX doctor who treated you and form a relationship thats dandy. If you meet during the care process and THEN date after its over and you meet as equals rather than carer/care-ee thats also far more fair.

Its worse for kids and the very ill. Both to be honest are super vulnerable and emotionally unsteady. Its super easy to abuse. I wont say a healthy relationship CANT form in these scenarios, of course it can, but you can either say everyone can do it or no one can do it. And if everyone can do it doctors and teachers are suddenly totally allowed to abuse their position of power.

 

[Gigano]

Well, power balance have already been mentioned as the reason.

There's no reason it couldn't be adapted to become a closer fit to that reasoning though, by ensuring that prosecution could only take place with the consent of the victim's legal guardians. That way, power would remain with the student/parents, while the government would not be forcing itself into the bedrooms of student/teacher relationships which all parties concerned were perfectly fine with.

 

[klown]

Depends for me. If you are old enough (I say around 16 or 17), and you know what you feel is genuine, you can love your teacher. During the time your teacher is teaching you, you can go about it, but don't take it too far. Once you are done with their class, take it to another phase and see what happens. To me its not really a bad thing, as long as it's a choice by both parties.

 

[Esotera]

If the teacher doesn't actually have to teach them anymore and they're no longer at the school, then it's totally fine as there isn't any potential conflict with the personal life & professional life. I know of at least one teacher/student couple at my old college that got together after she left the sixth form & are now happily married, so it can work.

Teachers have certain obligations with their jobs - i.e. to report someone confiding that they've been bullied to other teachers so action could be taken. If romantic feelings are involved then they could quite easily not fulfil this role.

 

[Twilight_guy]

Well with younger kids its statutory rape, which is illegal. With older kids its inappropriate because it creates a very personal relationship in a situation that should be a far more professional relationship. In addition, there is a worry that the teacher is using his position of power and authority to seduce the student.

 

[Tom_green_day]

If it's legal then it's legal. Morally... IDK, never been in a situation or heard of one like that. I guess it's fine if it doesn't inhibit the education of the child.

 

[krazykidd]

Well with younger kids its statutory rape, which is illegal. With older kids its inappropriate because it creates a very personal relationship in a situation that should be a far more professional relationship. In addition, there is a worry that the teacher is using his position of power and authority to seduce the student.

I like how every other post say that teacher are the ones doing the seducing , but not one mentions the possibility that the student is capable of seducing the teacher . As if teachers are immune to seduction or student are incapable of seducing a teacher . It's Always the teachers fault isn't it .

OT: i think as long as it isn't YOUR student it should be okay. If it's just a student at the school , or the student is no longer in your class it's fine . But then again that's just me , and i only use common sense .

 

[Scarim Coral]

Well isn't it because the teacher would then "favour" the puil he/ she in love/ sleeping with? It kind of a breach of the teacher professional seeing how the relationship is no longer pupul and teacher.
I mean yes we all know the teacher will be in a hell of trouble for dating an underage or young pupil (less than 18 or 21).

 

[vgmaster831]

Well with younger kids its statutory rape, which is illegal. With older kids its inappropriate because it creates a very personal relationship in a situation that should be a far more professional relationship. In addition, there is a worry that the teacher is using his position of power and authority to seduce the student.

I like how every other post say that teacher are the ones doing the seducing , but not one mentions the possibility that the student is capable of seducing the teacher . As if teachers are immune to seduction or student are incapable of seducing a teacher . It's Always the teachers fault isn't it .

OT: i think as long as it isn't YOUR student it should be okay. If it's just a student at the school , or the student is no longer in your class it's fine . But then again that's just me , and i only use common sense .

Teachers are expected as part of their job to resist such seduction attempts. Just as a psychologist would be expected not to be seduced by their patient while the patient is in their care. Having such a relationship with a minor, even when the minor initiates it, is considered statutory rape and is illegal.

Also, it's kind of arrogant (and a little rude) to say that your opinion, formed by experience and preference, is just common sense. The fact that this thread exists and that most people disagree with you makes it kind of obvious that it is not common sense.

Well, power balance have already been mentioned as the reason.

There's no reason it couldn't be adapted to become a closer fit to that reasoning though, by ensuring that prosecution could only take place with the consent of the victim's legal guardians. That way, power would remain with the student/parents, while the government would not be forcing itself into the bedrooms of student/teacher relationships which all parties concerned were perfectly fine with.

The problem is that rape is a capital crime, and it's not actually the victim or the parents prosecuting the rapist, it's the state. Changing that precedent could lead to people not getting prosecuted after committing really heinous crimes for a variety of reasons.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Oh man, I thought this was going to be about platonic love. Aaawkward. There have been teachers that I loved, as in felt a lot of respect and appreciation for. Never wanted to touch any of their naughty bits though, that's gross and completely inappropriate for reasons mentioned above.

 

[krazykidd]

Well with younger kids its statutory rape, which is illegal. With older kids its inappropriate because it creates a very personal relationship in a situation that should be a far more professional relationship. In addition, there is a worry that the teacher is using his position of power and authority to seduce the student.

I like how every other post say that teacher are the ones doing the seducing , but not one mentions the possibility that the student is capable of seducing the teacher . As if teachers are immune to seduction or student are incapable of seducing a teacher . It's Always the teachers fault isn't it .

OT: i think as long as it isn't YOUR student it should be okay. If it's just a student at the school , or the student is no longer in your class it's fine . But then again that's just me , and i only use common sense .

Teachers are expected as part of their job to resist such seduction attempts. Just as a psychologist would be expected not to be seduced by their patient while the patient is in their care. Having such a relationship with a minor, even when the minor initiates it, is considered statutory rape and is illegal.

Also, it's kind of arrogant (and a little rude) to say that your opinion, formed by experience and preference, is just common sense. The fact that this thread exists and that most people disagree with you makes it kind of obvious that it is not common sense.

Well, power balance have already been mentioned as the reason.

There's no reason it couldn't be adapted to become a closer fit to that reasoning though, by ensuring that prosecution could only take place with the consent of the victim's legal guardians. That way, power would remain with the student/parents, while the government would not be forcing itself into the bedrooms of student/teacher relationships which all parties concerned were perfectly fine with.

The problem is that rape is a capital crime, and it's not actually the victim or the parents prosecuting the rapist, it's the state. Changing that precedent could lead to people not getting prosecuted after committing really heinous crimes for a variety of reasons.

I never said under aged , i just said students . College and university students also apply , it is just as high school students , please don't put words in my mouth . Also , and i understand this may not have been obvious from what i wrote so it's my fault , but by common sense , i didn't mean that i was right or that everyone things like me , but that as thinking as an average(common) person , without putting all the different factors together , i came up with that response . Basically while thinking as an average joe ,rather than someone of importance.