Poll: Worst Male Pain: Caution - Not for the Squeamish.
- Thread starter The_root_of_all_evil
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I am a ice/roller hockey goaltender. A few years ago, I was using what turned out to be a sub-standard cup to protect my reproductive organs.
Essentially, the cup had separated from my tender parts by a couple of inches, meaning that when a very well placed wrist shot pounded into my crotch with an upward angle, the cup itself became a secondary projectile
So, in essence, a protective cup "cup-checked" my balls which were supposedly protected by a cup.
My legs completely gave way and for about 5 minutes I rolled into a "praying to allah" ball while simply trying to think of the beach, the ocean, or anything besides very large church bells being rung.
Needless to say, the next day, I purchased the most advanced, padded, and overdone goaltender cup money could buy. It is actually a normal size cup with an even larger cup stacked over the first, and a great deal of protective padding.
That was pretty bad, but it could have been far, far worse.
My testicles are just fine. Some genital injuries result in amputation of one or both testicles.
Essentially, the cup had separated from my tender parts by a couple of inches, meaning that when a very well placed wrist shot pounded into my crotch with an upward angle, the cup itself became a secondary projectile
So, in essence, a protective cup "cup-checked" my balls which were supposedly protected by a cup.
My legs completely gave way and for about 5 minutes I rolled into a "praying to allah" ball while simply trying to think of the beach, the ocean, or anything besides very large church bells being rung.
Needless to say, the next day, I purchased the most advanced, padded, and overdone goaltender cup money could buy. It is actually a normal size cup with an even larger cup stacked over the first, and a great deal of protective padding.
That was pretty bad, but it could have been far, far worse.
My testicles are just fine. Some genital injuries result in amputation of one or both testicles.
I will go with a kick to the groin. It just seems like the one that every guy knows will hurt beyond what they are immediately prepared to deal with.
i remember one day for pre season training about 4 years ago we were out running, it was foggy as fucking hell, couldn't see a good 20 yards in front of you if that, and on the way back me and a few friends decided to race the last 100 yards or so back, just to push ourselves (and obviously have macho man snuff after) and we are running across the parking lot and they all start to slow and i'm thinking "yeah! i'm gonna win!" so i keep pushing myself sprinting and i turn my head to see if anyone was close and all the sudden my face is flying forward with my legs at a complete stop and it felt like i was about to puke up my lungs, there was a fucking stupid one steel cable going across as a fence to block cars from parking on the grass and it hit RIGHT across my dick/ball line, and i hit that shit going full speed and i did a full flip over it
quiet possibly the most painful thing of my life, i laid there crying and i puked to the side from the immense pain from my groin shooting up into my stomach, it felt like my dick had been chopped off. I remember finally getting up and not being able to feel my stuff for the next hour or so, and even then i didn't piss till the next day i was so scared i would piss blood, in which when i did finally pee from not being able to hold it anymore it burned like a flame coming out.
TL;DR
racking yourself running full speed into a steel cable
Worst.pain.ever.
quiet possibly the most painful thing of my life, i laid there crying and i puked to the side from the immense pain from my groin shooting up into my stomach, it felt like my dick had been chopped off. I remember finally getting up and not being able to feel my stuff for the next hour or so, and even then i didn't piss till the next day i was so scared i would piss blood, in which when i did finally pee from not being able to hold it anymore it burned like a flame coming out.
TL;DR
racking yourself running full speed into a steel cable
Worst.pain.ever.
i will admit this sucks, one time i did have a injury to my thigh and it took all my fucking energy to make it up the stairs on one leg while having zero momentum shift in my other leg to keep it from hurting, fuckin awful that whole day.Daverson said:
I may not be male, but I voted migraine. As Root already knows, I'm a cronic sufferer of migraines (5th generation on my mother's side. Been getting them since I was 6 or so. Horrah for genetic diseases *sad*) and there isn't really a cure for them other than "Nuke it with pain killers and hope for the best."
Stupid migraines.
Stupid migraines.
Also, you're a tool >:northman said:He asked about "male" pain.amadhatter said:
well I'd imagine the worst pain you can take is a burning alive, or a physical separation in a tearing way.
Personally the worst thing I ever felt was when a buck gored more shoulder.
Personally the worst thing I ever felt was when a buck gored more shoulder.
I only voted other because I'm not exactly a creative person and nothing on that scale absolutely screamed horrible at me.
Speaking from personal experience however, dislocations are quite unpleasant. I've dislocated my left knee cap 3 times. Each time for around 6 hours before relocation (Curse being away from hospitals). Painkillers helped but it's been annoying having had to learn how to walk again 3 times.
Speaking from personal experience however, dislocations are quite unpleasant. I've dislocated my left knee cap 3 times. Each time for around 6 hours before relocation (Curse being away from hospitals). Painkillers helped but it's been annoying having had to learn how to walk again 3 times.
I had a kidney stone once. Wasn't that bad, to be honest... At first I thought "Oh shit, I think I've got a minor infection of the dickus" but yeh.
I don't usually get migraines, but I had an incredibly bad one a couple of years back. I couldn't actually see anything, and I was rolling around on the floor in pain. Probably the worst pain I've ever experienced, although some of the other things you mentioned sound pretty awful.
Most of these things apply to women too, it's just that childbirth trumps pretty much everything on that list, so the OP limited it to men.zehydra said:
As not only a male, but a male nurse, I can tell you what I've seen for damage to males.
If you mean the most painful thing I've seen happen to a male, it was the teenager last week who was driving with his knees (while drunk and high) and trying to text at the same time. His car went off the road and flipped onto the driver's side. But it is hot here in Florida, his window was down, and he had his arm hanging out the window. By the time he got to me, his arm was just hanging.
If you mean the most painful thing that can happen to a male ONLY, I've heard people complain about kidney stones something awful. But I can fix them with strong narcotics and medicine that opens the urinary pathways. Two people mentioned it, but when someone comes in with a testicular torsion (lefty is on the right and righty is on the left, causing organ death usually in both), there is no amount of medication I can give that will get rid of the pain. They go to surgery immediately, however I have never even lessened someone's pain with a torsion in their short time in my ER. Just last week, a patient ended up losing one because nobody got to it in time. He screamed the whole time until the doc had the good graces to knock him out before he left for surgery. That didn't stop his pain; just made it so he wasn't completely conscious for it.
Oh, and the catheter thing is overblown (no pun) and has more to do with male psychology. I do them daily and have had one done on me. It isn't a nude walk on the beach with a Canadian Club and Natalie Portman, but so long as your prostate is fine (get yours checked early and often!), it isn't any worse than the sting from stepping on a Monopoly house and then stubbing your toe at 3 a.m.
If you mean the most painful thing I've seen happen to a male, it was the teenager last week who was driving with his knees (while drunk and high) and trying to text at the same time. His car went off the road and flipped onto the driver's side. But it is hot here in Florida, his window was down, and he had his arm hanging out the window. By the time he got to me, his arm was just hanging.
If you mean the most painful thing that can happen to a male ONLY, I've heard people complain about kidney stones something awful. But I can fix them with strong narcotics and medicine that opens the urinary pathways. Two people mentioned it, but when someone comes in with a testicular torsion (lefty is on the right and righty is on the left, causing organ death usually in both), there is no amount of medication I can give that will get rid of the pain. They go to surgery immediately, however I have never even lessened someone's pain with a torsion in their short time in my ER. Just last week, a patient ended up losing one because nobody got to it in time. He screamed the whole time until the doc had the good graces to knock him out before he left for surgery. That didn't stop his pain; just made it so he wasn't completely conscious for it.
Oh, and the catheter thing is overblown (no pun) and has more to do with male psychology. I do them daily and have had one done on me. It isn't a nude walk on the beach with a Canadian Club and Natalie Portman, but so long as your prostate is fine (get yours checked early and often!), it isn't any worse than the sting from stepping on a Monopoly house and then stubbing your toe at 3 a.m.
The thing with migraines is that they don't "level off": the pain just gets worse and worse until you pass out.
My personal worst pain was being catheterized when I was about 6. "Mild discomfort" my malfunctioning kidneys! It felt like someone had run a fuse through my urethra and lit it on fire. Every time I peed for the next couple of weeks, it hurt just as bad.
My personal worst pain was being catheterized when I was about 6. "Mild discomfort" my malfunctioning kidneys! It felt like someone had run a fuse through my urethra and lit it on fire. Every time I peed for the next couple of weeks, it hurt just as bad.
Right now I'm gonna have to go with those kidney stones. I've got a nasty little one in my left side right now and it's movement was already some of the worst pain I've experienced. I can't begin to IMAGINE what passing it's gonna be like.
There was a chart somewhere that claims that Kidney Stones for men is more painful than giving birth. I don't know if it is true but having sharp objects the size of small pebbles pass through an opening meant for liquids has to be a legendary form of pain.
I have had minor migraines before and thanks to aspirin I was no where near passing out. If you know someone who regularly passes out due to migraines then they should go see a doctor because that sounds extremely dangerous.Zyxx said:
As Rade says, migraines tend to be genetic and they run through my family. My father's got to the point where he can actually move around while under a migraine, although it's difficult. But yeah, "passing out" migraines can be signs of a tumour, epilepsy or meningitis. Seriously @Zyxx, go and see a health specialist.Canid117 said:
The reason for making this poll, if anyone's nosey; is that I suffered from the first two yesterday simultaneously - and the Brain Freeze counteracted the Migraine - which set me thinking.
Well...not so much thinking at that point...painful.
Don't like a migraine or brain freeze, i can imagine passing a kidney stone would be horrific, but i went for the generic kick in balls, so many times i've dropped something small in my lap and felt a sharp pain, i can't imagine it magnified and i don't want to.