I actually had a dream that I was a woman... well, I still had my phallus, but other than that, I was mostly female. I was sitting in a bar while this guy next to me kept pestering me. Eventually I got so fed up that I put a knife to his throat. It was a little dinky dollar store knife, but I pressed it against his skin hard enough that little drops of blood began to drip out. After that, he got the message and left me alone. I am feeling proud of my self for my triumph over douchebaggery... then the cops show up. Apparently, what I had just done was kind of illegal.
Now I'm in the back of the cop car and I present my hands between the driver and passenger seat and say "Hey, you forgot to cuff me."
"Oh yeah," he replies. I glance into the rear view mirror and see my reflection; a little white lady with hair straight our of the eighties. If I could create the exact opposite of who I am in real life, this would be it. Now cuffed, we make our way to the station. This is when my I start thinking about the not so distant future. 'I'm going to prison looking like a woman! No wait, I'm going to a woman's prison... what's going to happen when we get to the showers and they notice my manly bits? I have to get out of here some how.
Once at the station, I begin wandering aimlessly, because apparently, the cops in my subconscious are terrible at their job. I wind up in the showers which are empty and are inspired by various steam punk novels. The faucets and poles are gold and engraved and the room is an oval with curtain off shower sections branching off of the center.
"I got to get out of here, this is rape central." I say to my self. I wander out of the showers and end up inside my church. At this point I realize I have turned back into a man and can now wander safely with out fear of cops. I make my way out of the church and see my old church a few blocks away.
Making my way home, I think aloud "You know, that guy at the bar wasn't so bad... definitely not 'knife to the throat bad'." a this point I wake up.