Punishing a Teenager
- Thread starter TehCookie
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As a former teenager a few years removed who got kicked out in his senior year of high school I've got to tell ya... Kick her out. I was a hot head and a slow learner but it was probably the only thing that helped me get turned around. It's a gamble on the parents part, since if she goes out and burns down a nursing home or something, the parents are held responsible until she's an adult.
But, if you're family isn't concerned with cost, contact your local police department/social services office and ask if there is a "detention hold" available in your area. That's a no questions asked, your parents decide that you are a threat to yourself or others call then to the cops who will haul ya away and take you to a local shelter (or work farm if there's one in your area) and there you will stay for X number of hours. (Mine was 72 and weekend hours didnt count. It sucked.)
It may end up not costing your family a thing, and it puts her in a situation where there is no concern over abuse because its all recorded, and the staff will act professionally right up to the point where the teen becomes threatening or starts swinging. *Swinging at the staff is not recommended.
But, if you're family isn't concerned with cost, contact your local police department/social services office and ask if there is a "detention hold" available in your area. That's a no questions asked, your parents decide that you are a threat to yourself or others call then to the cops who will haul ya away and take you to a local shelter (or work farm if there's one in your area) and there you will stay for X number of hours. (Mine was 72 and weekend hours didnt count. It sucked.)
It may end up not costing your family a thing, and it puts her in a situation where there is no concern over abuse because its all recorded, and the staff will act professionally right up to the point where the teen becomes threatening or starts swinging. *Swinging at the staff is not recommended.
If she's old enough to drop out of high school, she's old enough to live on her own so you can kick her out and it won't be considered child abuse.
take away everything but her matress, one outfit of clothes, and her food. By law, this is all that is needed to provide for a child, this will teach her, and the police can't do ****
That's a great idea. Let's put her in a big cage filled with more criminals, that's the perfectly place for her to be.SnootyEnglishman said:
But seriously, that's the last thing she needs.
ultrachicken said:
my mom always administered spankings when well deserved.
i dont drink.
i dont do drugs.
i never acted out when i was little.
i never did anything w/o her approval.
its easy math me + action - parental approval = spanking.
me + action + parental approval = "okie honey go do that"
than again my mom was nice enough to let me do ANYTHING as long as i asked and told her im doing it.
like "hey mom, can i watch basic instinct (R rated movie w/ sex /nudity" her:"ur only 9....sure, go ahead"
or "hey mom, can i go drinking w/ my friends? (no drinking age in romania)" her : "sure, call me if ur too drunk" gotta love that at 12.
anyway, yea spankings = good.
The topic at hand doesn't have enough information to make such a statement. Children can become unruly for many more reasons then just bad parenting. Bad Influences come from all angles, it could be family or friend (it might not even be a parent, but a sibling or a aunt/uncle, or a cousin). A lot of people who were subjected to child abuse and never came to terms with it could just as likely become so unruly. There's also mental conditions. Here's a definition for sociopath:Catchphrase said:
"A Sociopath is person with a mental disease. They don't follow the rules or moral of a society. They have a complete disregard for the feelings and rights of others. They don't feel remorse or guilt of their actions. They tend to be disorganized in his or her demeanor,nervous and easily agitated. They tend to spontaneously act out without thinking about the consequences of their actions. They are dangeourus to others and themselves. They need a lot treatment."
I agree with your notion on treatment. A sociopath can be born that way, meaning little to no chance of a normal family being able to reign them in. Situations like this require treatment from an early age for the best results, but its hard to tell a angsty teen from a head case until its far too late and the damage is done. Even if you do become aware of such a state, try convincing an angsty teen to see a psychiatrist, they would rather lop an arm off (in the case of my sister... no she didn't mutilate herself but she would resist to the point of tearing the family apart)
Blaming the parents is just as ignorant as blaming the child, as it's never that simple. You can blame bad genes or poor environment (includes schools and other social avenues), but blaming the parent or the child is a cop out.
OT: My sister was pretty unruly for most of her teens (running away, sleeping around, drugs and drink, general disrespect for herself and her family, the whole 9 yards), she drove my mum to the point of mental breakdown, my dad just closed himself off or doted on me (I was old enough to realise this and wasn't very appreciative of it), much bitterness developed between my parents during this time.
My sister is now 23, has an interesting job, a respectable boyfriend and has 2 healthy pet dogs (shows responsibility at least). She only managed to come that far after she left home. During 2 failed years in college she finally found a decent side to herself and developed it. I'm happy to call her my sister now, while no more then 3 or 4 years ago I would have been ashamed to hear of her.
This is the most likely event that could happen with your cousin, but it could take a good few years for her to develop herself.
While I am promoting throwing her into the deep end, I don't promote disowning her, that's just giving up and is a sign of bad parenting. Kicking her out just means she needs to live for herself (what teens fight for but don't really know what it is until it hits them, hard). The family should still be there as support, but not to be too soft on her of course.
My parents have never administered a half-serious punishment to me.vampirekid.13 said:
I don't do drugs, I do well in school
You can't assume that your situation reflects the effects of spanking across the globe
there are billions of people on this planet, one case is not reflective of the whole.
cite a source and I'll believe you
All i have to say is
They'll only throw you in jail if you use a CLOSED FIST or a WEAPON of ANY KIND
Remember kids! Slaps sting more than punches!
Besides even if she's thrown out won't she just hike to her "friends" and stay there...? wouldn't that just throw the lesson RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW!?
Just my personal opinion but i'm also just a face in the crowd
if not a beatiful and expertly carved handsome face
They'll only throw you in jail if you use a CLOSED FIST or a WEAPON of ANY KIND
Remember kids! Slaps sting more than punches!
Besides even if she's thrown out won't she just hike to her "friends" and stay there...? wouldn't that just throw the lesson RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW!?
Just my personal opinion but i'm also just a face in the crowd
if not a beatiful and expertly carved handsome face
I would have to agree, kick the ***** out! see how long she lasts before she comes crawling back saying sorry.PayJ567 said:
I'm taking this kid wasn't spanked as a kid? Only thing I cant think of is some heavy intervention before she ends up royaly screwed.