A Judd Apatow scenario directed by Michael Bay. We'd be able to pack stoners *and* douchebags into the same theater, thereby creating a singularity of sheer human misery that would terrify generations of humans to come and that would free our cultural spectrum from the morass of the bro-dude lowest common denominator. The NFL would collapse under the sudden lack of funding, the NHL would disintegrate, the soccer and rugby fans would be devastated, and the world would finally be primed for the nightmarish arrival of True Intellectualism!
Now, you have to read the above paragraph in complete darkness, with a flashlight turned on under your chin, thick bags under your eyes and your best Peter Lorre impersonation. Or else it just doesn't work.
