Quotes from your own life

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Knife

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Mar 20, 2011
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"Cyanide isnt that bad!" - a reply to saying a drink tastes like cyanide

"When the clock hits midnight I turn into a tired zombie and return to a strange land called reality"

"If stupidity was water, you'd be drowning"

After grinding fishing in MMO, I was asked whether I was still fishing to which I replied "Fish for the fish god!" "Don't you mean blood?" "How do you explain Cthulhu then?"

"What do you mean I'm not supposed to kill those guys? They bumped into me and I have those knives - that's clearly a message from above"

"You want me to play stealthily? Alright after I'm done I'll just kill all the witnesses"

"I know quick sort, bubble sort, radix sort and god sort" "God sort?" "Yeah, kill them all and let god sort em out"
 

PrimoThePro

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Jun 23, 2009
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"Don't let anyone fool you- this isn't democracy, it's outright Capitalism, where a vote with your dollar is worth much more than a vote on a ballot."
I'm a socialist. Deal with it.
 

Paksenarrion

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Mar 13, 2009
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Evilbunny said:
"I like big girls. I like big giant girls that can knock over buildings with their hands. 'ROOOAAAAARRR' 'Well, hello there. I'd like to thrust my sword into your magical weak point. Alright."
Listen to this man. He fights for Freedom.
 

Chronarch

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Oct 31, 2009
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"Don't worry I can handle this; I've played Tetris!" This quote occurred when my friends and I once had to pile into a truck with a very limited amount of space. I now know what Tetris blocks feel like... very misshapen Tetris blocks.
 

Blobpie

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May 20, 2009
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1. "Making love is just like wood shop. You usually do it on a table, you usually wear protection and it is always very messy."

2. "I have a bullet with your name on it! And I'm going to keep firing until i find it!"

3. "Babies come from storks kid... that's right a stork screwed your mom..."
 

Dr Snakeman

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Apr 2, 2010
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A friend of mine had this little gem: "When life gives me lemons, I make beef stew." I love it; it's a great attitude to have towards existence.

As for me? I usually just quote other stuff, but I'll occasionally have my moments.

"I'm not Catholic, but... *crosses self* every little bit helps, I guess."

"I'm white, male, Christian, right-leaning, and will soon be both an Army officer and college educated. It's clear that, in about twenty years, I will be 'The Man'. Stick it to me, I dare you."

And an old standby, used by a lot of people, but one that I am particularly fond of: "Ugh. This is gonna suck."
 

Kenko

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Jul 25, 2010
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This one used to drive a friend of mine nuts as I would say it all the time.

"STAB IT THROUGH THE HEART ITS THE ONLY THING THAT KILLS IT!" Repeat it 5 times each time you use it.

And instead of saying hello in my young days I used words like "Burn" or "Die" alot.

Ive got better quotes somewhere in my memorybank but it's 2:00 AM xD
 

drh1975

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Dec 8, 2010
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This one is Stewie Griffin's, but it's one of my favorites: "I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total *****."
These are mine:
"I'm gonna drive my foot so far up your ass, your thoughts will have to climb over my toes."
"How 'bout I kick your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to insert food rectally in order to chew it?"
There are more, but I can't think of any more right now.
 

JLML

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Feb 18, 2010
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Most commonly:

"You know what bothers me..?"

"Note:"

Less commonly:

"Don't believe in anything. It's easier that way."

"I am 100% certain that you can in fact not be 100% certain."

"God doesn't exist. If he did, I wouldn't."
 

WildSeraph

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Jan 5, 2011
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I've had quotable stuff said about me more than I've said quotable stuff.
"You're the only person I know that plays HeXen while listening to Hatsune Miku No Tomadoi."

Though I've had my moments. Like when a foreign friend on the internet asked me how Canada was:
"Have you ever thought about Utopia? You know, where everything is perfect, everything feels in place, and everything could be accomplished? Have you ever experienced the joy of living in a world where everyone greeted you and treated you with utmost respect? Have you ever had the pleasure of knowing your kind braved infinitely impossible odds, and survived temperatures no man could ever survive, just for you? Have you ever felt... proud to live where you live?"
"No, but it sounds amazing."
"Well, then you don't want to come to Canada. All we have are beer commercials, car commercials and a neighbor that likes to make fun of us for some reason. Oh, and shampoo commercials."
 

Lonan

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Dec 27, 2008
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Wrote these in grade 11:

Do not attempt to climb the summit of the highest mountain with one step.

No matter how many problems you have, make them line up one by one so that they will never overwhelm you.

If you fail, it is because you did not try hard enough.

Failure is that which preludes success.

You never truly want to fail, because that is not truly what you want to do with the time that is given to you.

Consistently moping over the failures of the past will never bring on the successes of the future.

When life seems too hard, when it appears that your obstacles are too great, remember that we do not choose our circumstances. Our circumstances choose us, and we can choose what to do with them.

The level of the adversity facing you and the level of adversity you think you can overcome are completely unrelated.

Adversity is not determined by your ability to overcome it; rather, you must overcome it no matter what.

If a mountain must be climbed, a mountain must be climbed. It doesn?t matter how hard it is, or indeed, if it is too hard.

If accomplishing something is outside of ones capabilities, then one must change ones capabilities.

If we never changed, never improved ourselves, we would all be breast sucking infants.

If work must be done, it must be done immediately, or risk being forgotten until it is far too late.

Never consider defeating adversity to be an optional course of action.

The will to succeed cannot come through logic, only the deep crevasses of internal emotion. However, crevasses can only be filled by slowly having the right attitude and deciding to do what is best every time.

Never allow overzealous moral values to bring you down.

If you once have believed in something you want for yourself, do not allow the passage of time to erode it. Do not convince yourself that you want any less.

When you say you are going to do something, there are three meanings to what you are saying. The first is that you are going to do it immediately. The second is that you are going to do something else, but something beneficial and productive first. The third is that you are going to do it later. Always ask yourself which applies; and make sure it isn?t the third.

If you think you are going to do something later, you aren?t.

The will to achieve ones desires is not something which someone should ever assume they have. They should never convince themselves of what they want, because they already know what they want. A person must simply choose to succeed at every moment.

Put effort into achieving something, and the achievement will worry about itself.

Never be polluted with the thought that the way something is now is how it is meant to be, that how something currently is; is a default which should be bowed too. Things are however you want them to be! And you must know that you wish things to be the better way, the way you have seen but may have been convinced you do not want. Doubt and distraction are the devil?s greatest tools.
 

v3n0mat3

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Jul 30, 2008
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If my eyes were hands, I'd be heading for second base.

If I have another drink, I'm gonna explode. So please just bring me the tab. *Think that, only with more slurring*

Life is like a box of chocolates, flip the label to find out which ones are which so it's not much of a surprise. (I honestly said this)

It was like sticking my dick in a bag of lukewarm jello.