Random superpwers that make nearly no sense.

[The Rogue Wolf]

The ability to know when someone is in mortal danger.

You can't do anything about it, you don't even know who it is or where the person is located... you just know that someone's really close to death, somewhere.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

The ability to determine the sexuality of lizards.

 

[The_Chief]

what about the power, to move you....

what about the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away? WITH MIND BULLETS!

the ability to perceive that i cant believe its not butter! isn't butter.
or the power to see that butter is way better then margarine.
or the power of lactose intolerence.
what about the power to turn invisible, but only when no one is in the room?

 

[Christemo]

the power to facepalm with the speed of a jackhammer.

 

[Squoze]

The ability to morph into a giant cockroach.

I've always wanted that one.

Franz Kafka much?

 

[londelen]

I HAVE SPOONS FOR HANDS! IT IS THE ULTIMATE SUPERPOWER!!

 

[Dys]

Having the ability to get of out water completely dry.

 

[Gamer137]

*You can only taste whats in your mouth when you are bloated to the point of vomiting.
*You can make blood mega fast and give enough blood to fill every world blood band; but you have AIDs.
*You know how to cure every human illness permanently, but your body is unable to communicate it in any possible way, from speaking to giving any hints regardless of degree.
*You have the talent to be the world richest man, but any wealth you make is locked in a vault no one can open.
*You have the powers of a god, but you are unconsious and can't wake up to use them.

 

[antipunt]

I read a joke book once: it was like, would you rather have:

a) The ability to insta-shave (shave instantly) OR
b) The ability to flush a toilet in a building, and everyone in it renounces their religion

lol wut

 

[ViolentlyHappy91]

The power that makes everything you touch have an orgasm. Generally, this serves no use, and would just be funny, but I'm sure it would get you out of trouble sometimes and you'd have no trouble in the bedroom anymore.

 

[Ham Blitz]

The ability to control pork based products, but only when they are cooked.
or, for the fun of annoying people,
The ability to change the pitch of someone else's voice.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

The power to turn invisible, but only when people aren't looking at you.

The uselessness of that is... Uncanny. Its like a mirror that only works in pure darkness.

 

[Avatar Roku]

The ability to move forward in time at normal speed.

 

[AngloDoom]

The ability to make people jump off very low walls and then think they had killed themselves

Maybe it's the fact that I didn't sleep, at all, but I found that fuckin' hilarious.


Also, the power to hear the thoughts of flies. It'd pretty much be "Wooh! Poop!" and "Wooh! Sex!" repeated over and over, endlessly, until the killings begin again.

 

[Weil]

The ability to sparkle.

...That's it, just, sparkle.

Seriously, why?

 

[Riding on Thermals]

The power to turn invisible, but only when people aren't looking at you.

The uselessness of that is... Uncanny. Its like a mirror that only works in pure darkness.

Or if you were a character in a movie where you and your gang had to get by a death ray which killed everything that it could see that entered its viewing radius....

+10 points for anyone who can tell me why "The Waffler" was the best part of that particular film

 

[Deadpoolsbrain]

The ability to bend spoons with your mind, thats it.