Really bad online translations

[CrashTestZombie]

I wrote this:

"Valve is delaying Half Life 3 in order to build an innovative physics-based robot to destroy Marty O'Donnell (sp?)"

Which was followed by:

"Mary's death created a robot 马蒂."

Also:

"Halo 3 sucks. Call of Duty rocks."

Turned into:

"3 forum, black dog, you are invited to the castle and go."

I hope there is cake at said castle.

EDIT: I wrote this:

"Do what you want because a pirate is free. You are a pirate."

Spoiler: 10 Translations later

Do whatever you want because a pirate is free. This is a hacker.

Spoiler: 25 Translations later

Do you want to pirate free? He was attacked.

Spoiler: 54 Translations later

I want to pirate attacks Vietnamese

 

[TheBoulder]

"Bernadette has left her cake out in the rain"
54 translations later...
"Designed to be the rain" These are wise words indeed.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Spoiler: Spoiler, to stop this from becoming a wall of text. Also, this my original post.

-"I don't have your stone! And FUCK YOU anyway!"
becomes...
"Do not rock! In any case, the devil!"



-"Why are you telling Jim about the impending Russian bear attack on American soil? He will tell the local police!" [don't ask, I just made it up]
becomes...
"Why is commitment to Russia, the United States to enter the field of coal? He said the police!"


-"This is the worst translation ever. Of all time."
becomes..
"This version is often bad. Above."


-"I can't feel my torso!"
becomes...
"I can't believe your mouth!"

-"Whoa...I care so little I almost passed out... "
becomes...
"The ... I touched a little more work than he is ..."

Spoiler: Immature Edit

"My balls are SO....BIG."
becomes..
"If the egg .... Awesome."

Spoiler: Originally: LOOK! A BIRD! BUGARK!

"Please do not forget the birds! Bulgaria!"

Spoiler: OH SWEET JESUS! I CAN'T STOP TYPING!

...10 translations
"Oh, sweet Jesus! I can not stop writing!"
25 translations...
"My God! I could not stop writing!"
And, 54...
"And please! "I can write!""

 

[megamanenm]

"Kijk uit jij dwaas!" (which is Dutch for watch out you fool)

...54 translations later we get:

"Hello, people with Disabilities;"

 

[Antitonic]

This is brilliant...

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore"

To

"Depression when fatigue and pain, I do not know the original message, I began to forget about the tradition."

 

[The Purple Crusader]

"I don't know if I'll upset the status quo if I throw poison in the water main."

becomes

"After the conversation of water pollution input."

DR HORRIBLES SING ALONG BLOG! I LOVEEE THATTT!

Ot: Did we land on the moon -> Even Months?

...Now im really confused.

 

[chiggerwood]

"You feel that coldness on you? You feel that chill running down your spine? They're coming, and there's gonna be no escape!

Turns into: Winter? How does it work? Canyon!



she sells sea shells by the seashore.

Turns into:Arena campaign.



this old man he played six he played knick knack on my fence

Turns into: Is naikikurikku 2006 - Building on the gangga river.

 

[infinity_turtles]

"RAPE! RAPE!"
54 translations later
"Done! Done!"

"What is more magnificent than God? The answer is simple. A turtle."
54 translations later
"God better? .. Tortuga light"

"Who wants to separate the world we know from our beliefs"
54 translations later
"Learn more about the faith."

"Everyone is here. The feast can soon begin"
54 translations later
"Confirm the budget movie."

"Can you hear the sailorman's hymn? As it comes with the rise of the tide It is sung where the rainbow begins As a comfort for tears she has cried"
54 translations later
"Music, set the oven to get water."

All of these translations are horrible, but I think each is screwed up in a different sort of way.

 

[NoNameMcgee]

"Rise and shine, Mister Freeman. Rise and shine. Not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest."

Becomes: "Simple, Mr. Freeman seems. Hello. I know who has not slept in the labor market. No one loves you."

hahaha xD
_______

and a sentence I made up: "Oh good lord. Oswald, fetch me my shoes, and try not to slip on the butter this time. Then call Betty and cancel my appointment at the refrigerator."

becomes: "God's glory. Oswald, sandals, misuse of tests on oil at this time. If you make reservations by phone, the family refrigerator."

 

[Antitonic]

"Blank and Zidane have a short conversation, where Blank figures out what Zidane is going to do. Blank wonders why Zidane always has to be a hero. Well, he's the main character, duh. At Blank's suggestion, Zidane goes to talk to Baka. Cripes, can we get on with this already?"

Spoiler: ...10 translations later we get:

"Zidane is empty, Zidane will be in a white short conversation. White is the reason why Zidane has always been a hero can. One does not like the protagonist. Under this proposal, Zidane said white flowers, and only here, we need to do?"

Spoiler: ...25 translations later we get:

"Zidane Interview with white, black, short-Zidane. Why hero Zidane is always white. You do not want heroes. Under the proposal, said Zidane, "white flowers, and here only are we?"

Spoiler: ...54 translations later we get:

"Black and white small white hero zidane zinedine zidane zinedine zidane interview why I want to be a hero. Zidane and Guidelines: "We have white flowers, she said."

Wow, it nearly broke there...

 

[KP Shadow]

"Can I fuck your gay mother?"
becomes
"We agree that parents are gay?"

"What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more."
becomes
"Children Injured"

"Why does this always happen to me"
becomes
"Whatever"

 

[The Paradigm]

Here's a couple things I said

"does the escapist know the secrets of the cosmos?"
which got answered with
"It is interesting to understand the mysteries of the universe?"

Hmmph. Touche.

"i'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and i'm all out of gum"
which got answered with
"Saturday Club Linked rubber, Adhesives and chewing gum."

and finally
"I form like voltron and blast you with my shoulder missiles "
which got answered with
"Rudel Barton and Duties."

My mind is blown.

 

[chiggerwood]

Wait got more All Pulp Fiction quotes

massaging a woman's feet is not the same as sticking your tongue in the holiest of holy

Turns into: Temple massage for women.

English mother fucker do you speak it!

Turns into: British women!

Jules Do you see a sign at the front of my house that says dead ****** storage?

Turns into: Hangul door dark, black, little more?

Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can't give you this case, it don't belong to me. Besides, I've already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass.

Suddenly becomes:Indeed, if the dead bird. But I do not want to die, and I need help in this situation, but in my case, fear not to bad.

I wanna put the entire script of pulp fiction through that translator now.

 

[gigastrike]

Original: "I have a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell."
Translated:"Temperature is important."

Original: "I want to be the very best, like no one ever was."
Translated: "Other."

Original: "The robot reads our every thought."
Translated: "Work and reading."

Original: "Escapist Magazine has many interesting articles, including ones about piracy."
Translated: "Theft, as well as benefits."

Original: "Blue."
Translated: "Son."

Original: "F*ck."
Translated: "Oh!"

Original: "That German man is such a character."
Translated: "German novel."

 

[shadow741]

Original text:

"I know what you're thinking ? "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?"

...54 translations later we get:

"I - my 6.5 "Indeed, I 1944, more fun and interesting subject, I know You think we are ready to work."

Original text:

"Original text: ""All your base are belong to us"" ...54 translations later we get: "Here all" bad translator "

...55 translations later we get:

"Text: "It is our policy." 54 hours, said "This is a bad translation of the POP-Up"



Original text:

"ORLY? YARLY! NOWAI! "

...54 translations later we get:

"Uncircumcised can be! Money!"

Original text:

"Heil Hitler"

...54 translations later we get:

"Buy"

 

[Optix334]

"How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

...54 translations later we get:

"Tshakkutshakkutshakku trees. I do not know and wonder how"


Brilliant!

 

[Skuffyshootster]

Original text:
Some people call me the space cowboy yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
Cause' I speak of the pompetous of love

Translation:
Some people call me space cowboy Some people even say I love gangster Tell me why I talk about love pompetous Mauritius
-------------------------------------------------
Original text:
Eyes bulging from their sockets
With every swing of my mallet
I smash your fucking head in, until brains seep in
through the cracks, blood does leak
distorted beauty, catastrophe
Steaming slop, splattered all over me

Translation:
Her eyes out of my hammer, I'm afraid of them breaking the head of each base in the United States in violation of cracks, joy and disaster workers in cerebral blood flow, pull me
---------------------------------------------------
Original text:
Kill the gangsters with a rubber chicken.

Translation:
The rebels were killed and rubber chicken.
---------------------------------------------------
Original text:
Death most resembles a prophet who is without honor in his own land or a poet who is a stranger among his people.

Translation:
Most of the body is not in their countries that do not meet the prophet or poet and human indifference.

 

[bloe1010]

"Ben Yahtzee Croshaw" to "Death"

 

[goldenjester]

Original text:

"Someday, I wish to own a boat"

...54 translations later we get:

"Buy"

Okay then, I will.