really you let your kid play THIS

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The3rdEye

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Jacob.pederson said:
Very well reasoned and thoughtful replies :)
Thank you, and most certainly the same to you, very well presented and unbiased statements. On that note, I understand if not agree with everything that you've stated, but I would like to make a small addendum to one area if I may:

Jacob.pederson said:
I agree that it is counter intuitive that violent media doesn't produce violent citizenry, but studies have shown over and over again, that they don't. In Pinker's, The Blank Slate, there is evidence showing that the ONLY thing you can do to influence your children's personalities as they develop, is to have them in a different order. That's right, birth order is the only significant environmental effect on personality. I highly recommend Pinker to any new parents, he is illuminating on the ongoing nature nurture debate.

So where does that leave me as a parent? I can try to steer him away from the idea that a good outlet for aggression is a military career. (Perhaps suggesting martial arts or competitive sports as an alternative.) What I can't do is remove the aggression from his personality.

I disagree that there is a real huge difference between playing guns in halo or playing guns outside with the cardboard cutouts like I did. (except perhaps the lack of exercise) I don't especially have any science to back that up, but it's a gut feeling of mine. I make the exception with the militaristic simulators not because of the violence, but because of the idea of violence as a heroic career option.

I agree wholeheartedly that overexposure to media in general is a huge issue for the most recent generations. Sitting in front of a screen is not where you want young children spending their days. This is why we don't own a television, and have hardcoded computer time limits. A healthy fantasy life is certainly important, but you don't want that fantasy to become your whole life.

Again, it does seem odd at first glance, that kissing should make you more uncomfortable than murder. However, reaching into evolutionary psychology, we can see why. Violence IS part of a males reproductive strategy. Subtle threat and active domination wins males mates. The veneer of civilization tends to make us forget this. It also makes sense for a male to learn his violence at a prepubescent age, where his underdeveloped muscles make him unlikely to hurt himself and others. Furthermore, with our highly developed brain, it also makes sense for young males to gravitate toward the most modern weapons available to them. Guns.
I myself would suspect that the overall imprinting of shame (through the general society) in regards to our bodies and what happens with them has a large part to play in that as well. We as both children and adults still laugh/stare/scowl whenever someone farts or belches, both of which completely normal and at time necessary functions but they are also two of the least complex, both physically and emotionally. I don't intend on starting a debate regarding the "sex vs violence" thing because that horse has been reduced to a wobbling pile of giblets at this point, but I did want to make mention of it none the less.

Jacob.pederson said:
How should we react to this as parents? By not overreacting. Walling off your offspring from the culture around them is not a viable option. Steering them gently away from paths that really do lead to violence, such as gun ownership, or military careers is an option. I'm obviously only about half-way through my parenting adventure, so I'm not quite sure if the gentle steering idea will work or not. But I'll let you know how it turns out :)
Ha ha, I'm sure the both of you will continue to do just fine.
 

gamer_parent

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Personally, I feel that the studies don't do enough to fully uncover what are the precise impacts that a violent video game might have on a kid. Where I'm coming from, I do believe that the media you expose yourself to does have an effect on you in some way. Someone mentioned BoBo doll study prior. That's an excellent example right there. And that to me pretty much means that mediums effect you.

I don't agree that violent games automatically means crazy killer, but it might imply something else like tolerance to violence in general, willingness to dismiss the full effect of violence, etc. But even then, not all violent games will weigh in the same way on this. I mean, there is a distinction between the almost purposely offensive moral vacuum in manhunt and the somewhat more incidental moral vacuum in GTA3.

The underlying message of both, despite both being games sharing the attribute of doling out violence to random strangers, is quite different.

And the precise effect of each I think is what needs to be examined. Because otherwise, we're really no better than people who argue that Mozart's music will cause moral decay back in the Victorian era. It's not that the media doesn't effect you, it's that we don't understand WHAT it does exactly.
 

Eliam_Dar

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HG131 said:
Eliam_Dar said:
Stupid parenting....hell I once found my 11yo cousin playing L4D2 on my PC and I grounded him for a week, in which he could not use any of my consoles (and after taliking to his parents not even his consoles)
That is REALLY douchebaggy. Seriously, I've been playing M games since I was 5, having played all kinds of games, including The Punisher on the Xbox, before I was 11. It doesn't effect your mind.
that migth be your opinion, I specifically told him not to play that game. He did, therefore I grounded him
 

kilativ15

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I dunno, my small bro would play any games i own, but if i see em playing em id tell him to stop. Otherwise i wouldn't bother
 

Crimson King

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I have noticed a general decline in parenting when I compared it to mine.
I myself had responsible parents who wouldn't let me see a movie or get a game if the rating was too high and made me work for whatever I really wanted.
Now whenever I try playing games that are meant for people twice their age, there's kids who's voices never cracked screaming at me.
This is not good parenting.
 

Eldarion

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coolman9899 said:
I was at my swimming lessons and there was this 9 year old in my group and I was talking to him and all of a suddon he say's what are your favourite games mine are call of duty modernwarfare 2, grand theft auto vice city, call of duty modern warfare, gears of war 2 and saints row 2

im thinking WHAT THE HELL YOUR PARENTS LET YOU PLAY THESE GAMES. I mean really I think I need to knock some sense into them

What is your view on this and have you met any kids who really shouldnt be playing certain games like these
You do not need to knock sense into anyone, calm down. I was playing games like that at that age. Its entirely possible that the kid is mature enough to play those games. If he is and his parents trust him you have no right to criticize or judge their situation.
 

meticadpa

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Eh, I think you guys are being a bit... conservative.

I've played games (often violent) since I was about 3 and I continue to play them now (I'm 15) and I do well in school, I'm in great shape and I've got a healthy mental state.

Age doesn't matter so much as maturity - I've seen some 11-year-olds less impressionable than some 20-year-olds and vice versa.
 

Altaries

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You're right, They should learn to form coherent sentences before they play games like these, Eh coolman9899?
 

Klepa

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Case-by-case if you ask me.

Some kids are a lot more impressionable than others. I played Doom and Wolfenstein 3D at age 7, and didn't think much of them. But I was always a really passive kid, and not that easily excited about anything, so my parents were ok with all of it.

However, my 7-year-old nephew is the polar opposite of what I was. He's extremely impressionable, with massive energy levels, a violently low attention span and can often be found re-enacting things he's seen on the telly. My sister never lets him play or watch anything gratuitously violent, and neither do my folks.

So in most cases, I think parents know best. Of course there are shitty parents, and there's a lot of them, but letting kids play the wrong kind of games is one of the milder forms of shitty parenting.
 

Eliam_Dar

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HG131 said:
Eliam_Dar said:
HG131 said:
Eliam_Dar said:
Stupid parenting....hell I once found my 11yo cousin playing L4D2 on my PC and I grounded him for a week, in which he could not use any of my consoles (and after taliking to his parents not even his consoles)
That is REALLY douchebaggy. Seriously, I've been playing M games since I was 5, having played all kinds of games, including The Punisher on the Xbox, before I was 11. It doesn't effect your mind.
that migth be your opinion, I specifically told him not to play that game. He did, therefore I grounded him
It doesn't make it any less overly restrictive.
Point granted, my point still stands however, He played a M game, without my consent on my PC, while I specifically told him not to. He disobeyed, I grounded him. Don't get me wrong, I did let him play other games, yet he played the one I said NO.
 

AnAngryMoose

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AyrSuppli said:
It honestly kind of pisses me off how overprotective my parents are, and I'm against your view. I think if their parents let 'em play the games, then it's their decision. Actually, if and when I have kids, I'm going to let them do kind of whatever. Do your parents have a lot of restrictions on games, music, etc?
Protectiveness is a virtue for parents these days, but I agree that overprotectiveness can be as bad as underprotectiveness. A parent who won't let their 14 year old son play a game rated 15+ is ridiculous, as is a parent who lets their 9 year old son play a game rated 18+. As long as parents supervise the child and check over the actual content within said game before purchasing a game rated higher than their actual age, I don't mind. Hell, I played Team Buddies when I was like seven... Although that was a screw up on my parents part because it looks extremely kid-friendly.
 

wildpeaks

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HG131 said:
IxionIndustries said:
As long as the kid isn't going around shooting people because he saw it on Call of Duty, then I have no issue.

Hell, I was playing fucking Unreal Tournament when I was 6, so I grew up around that kind of shit.

The kid said his favorite games were shooters. Big deal. Fuck, lighten up for a bit.
Exactly. I've been playing M games since I was 5. I wasn't warped by them.
(M-rated games didn't exist when I was 5 :( )
 

AnAngryMoose

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HG131 said:
AnAngryMoose said:
AyrSuppli said:
It honestly kind of pisses me off how overprotective my parents are, and I'm against your view. I think if their parents let 'em play the games, then it's their decision. Actually, if and when I have kids, I'm going to let them do kind of whatever. Do your parents have a lot of restrictions on games, music, etc?
Protectiveness is a virtue for parents these days, but I agree that overprotectiveness can be as bad as underprotectiveness. A parent who won't let their 14 year old son play a game rated 15+ is ridiculous, as is a parent who lets their 9 year old son play a game rated 18+. As long as parents supervise the child and check over the actual content within said game before purchasing a game rated higher than their actual age, I don't mind. Hell, I played Team Buddies when I was like seven... Although that was a screw up on my parents part because it looks extremely kid-friendly.
I've been playing M games since I was 5. It hasn't effected me.
I'm not saying it affects everyone, but there are people who are extremely influenced by it. Also, do you not think it's a tad frightening that children are completely desensitized to any sort of violence or horrow? Or think it's right to commit crimes because they did it in GTA?
 

Drakmeire

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after the second kid, parents usually stop caring and will let them do anything.
that's why i despise children.