Thank you, and most certainly the same to you, very well presented and unbiased statements. On that note, I understand if not agree with everything that you've stated, but I would like to make a small addendum to one area if I may:Jacob.pederson said:Very well reasoned and thoughtful replies![]()
I myself would suspect that the overall imprinting of shame (through the general society) in regards to our bodies and what happens with them has a large part to play in that as well. We as both children and adults still laugh/stare/scowl whenever someone farts or belches, both of which completely normal and at time necessary functions but they are also two of the least complex, both physically and emotionally. I don't intend on starting a debate regarding the "sex vs violence" thing because that horse has been reduced to a wobbling pile of giblets at this point, but I did want to make mention of it none the less.Jacob.pederson said:I agree that it is counter intuitive that violent media doesn't produce violent citizenry, but studies have shown over and over again, that they don't. In Pinker's, The Blank Slate, there is evidence showing that the ONLY thing you can do to influence your children's personalities as they develop, is to have them in a different order. That's right, birth order is the only significant environmental effect on personality. I highly recommend Pinker to any new parents, he is illuminating on the ongoing nature nurture debate.
So where does that leave me as a parent? I can try to steer him away from the idea that a good outlet for aggression is a military career. (Perhaps suggesting martial arts or competitive sports as an alternative.) What I can't do is remove the aggression from his personality.
I disagree that there is a real huge difference between playing guns in halo or playing guns outside with the cardboard cutouts like I did. (except perhaps the lack of exercise) I don't especially have any science to back that up, but it's a gut feeling of mine. I make the exception with the militaristic simulators not because of the violence, but because of the idea of violence as a heroic career option.
I agree wholeheartedly that overexposure to media in general is a huge issue for the most recent generations. Sitting in front of a screen is not where you want young children spending their days. This is why we don't own a television, and have hardcoded computer time limits. A healthy fantasy life is certainly important, but you don't want that fantasy to become your whole life.
Again, it does seem odd at first glance, that kissing should make you more uncomfortable than murder. However, reaching into evolutionary psychology, we can see why. Violence IS part of a males reproductive strategy. Subtle threat and active domination wins males mates. The veneer of civilization tends to make us forget this. It also makes sense for a male to learn his violence at a prepubescent age, where his underdeveloped muscles make him unlikely to hurt himself and others. Furthermore, with our highly developed brain, it also makes sense for young males to gravitate toward the most modern weapons available to them. Guns.
Ha ha, I'm sure the both of you will continue to do just fine.Jacob.pederson said:How should we react to this as parents? By not overreacting. Walling off your offspring from the culture around them is not a viable option. Steering them gently away from paths that really do lead to violence, such as gun ownership, or military careers is an option. I'm obviously only about half-way through my parenting adventure, so I'm not quite sure if the gentle steering idea will work or not. But I'll let you know how it turns out