Relationship Dilemma - FINAL UPDATE. IF YOU POSTED HERE BEFORE, PLEASE VIEW MY LATEST POST

[Julianking93]

Just don't hate her for being religious.

I don't think it's so much that he hates her beliefs, rather that he knows that neither of them will change, and this will lead to problems down the line.

Which I think it will, by the way.

You're probably right, but there's no use going at it with that attitude. I am religious and we're not all nutcases that are narrow-minded (albeit, so many are). But in saying that, if she's going to be all weird about saying the Lord's name in vain, then I fear there may be no hope, haha.

@OP: What does she think about you not being religious?

Read my reply to Megas Rules. Its one post above yours

 

[Jedoro]

Go for it, man. But since God supposedly knows about everything going on even in people's minds, you actually might be talking to God when you say that. Not really her place to decide if you are or not.

 

[silasbufu]

If you're seriously thinking about this just because of those reasons..then you are as intolerant as she seems to be. So whatever...but I would really go for it. From what you said she seems to be great.
P.S. : In a world in which jews marry muslims..and many other combinations..does it really really matter?

 

[Abedeus]

Where's my box of knives..

Escapist is not the "Corner of Broken Hearts" magazine. Seriously.

 

[Mr.Black]

Just to digress a little; Every man needs a woman that doesn't give a shit. All this craziness women possess is just too much for one man.

 

[Megas Rules]

jusdt ask yourself one question

Is she worth it?

what i would do is just not talk about the religion etc for a while and see if you are liking her more and more.

if you find that you cant compromize with such a big difference then tell her that and stay friends

 

[WolfThomas]

Focus on what you do have in common, while working out what her views on sex before marriage, best case scenario you can have political arguments followed by angry sex.

But yeah that just me being pragmatic. I'm also so lazy I'll probably marry a pregnant woman.

 

[fix-the-spade]

That's right Escapist. Through several other questions and by her responses, I learned that this seemingly perfect girl is a bible thumping, Obama hating, gay bashing, Evangelical Christian. Her beliefs go exactly the opposite of mine and now I don't know what to do.
She really is one of the sweetest and most compassionate girls I've ever met, but to hear all this just is crazy to me (but I guess there's always a catch).


I don't know what to do. She goes against all my own personal morals and beliefs yet I have a soft spot for her.

There's your answer, don't waste your or her time, she'll spend half her time trying to convert you to her way of thinking (which she won't, but she'll still try), while you'll spend the other half wondering if you can stove her close minded head in and get away with it (you can't, don't try).
People can be sweet and polite as a marshmallow, but they rapidly get grating when they sweetly and politely and constantly swat at your very beliefs.

I've gone out with an overly religious type (I'm not), doesn't work. Still, there's nothing to stop you trying.

 

[Julianking93]

tell her what your beliefs are and see if shell accept you with them and try to accept her beliefs. if it seems to fall apart and cant talki about important things because of it, then id think it wouldn't work out

That's the biggest problem. I [i/]have[/i] told her my beliefs. When she said that text about the Oh my God thing, she said after, "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have said anything. You don't like me as much anymore do you?"

Truth be told, I didn't. I told her that I'm an atheist and her only reply was "why?" to which I told her why but then she just said "can we not talk about this anymore?"

If I can't talk to her about deep spiritual things like that, how can this work?

So be upfront with her. If you feel you can't talk about spiritual things with her then say so. Tell her what you want. If she's going to be a disty daisy about it even after you've thrown a lifeline, then it's not worth it.

Disty Daisy? Hehe. That was funny.

Anyway, maybe you're right. I just don't know. I mean, she really is sweet and charming, but to think that underneath it all is a religious nutjob? That might be a little much.

 

[Macgyvercas]

Well, people of different beliefs can work. One of my former neighbor was a Catholic/Methodist couple who didn't argue at all about religion. In fact, they had a very sound system for which religion to raise kids in: Expose the kids to both religions and let them choose (he said that they were going to have God in their lives as long as they lived at home. After they left, it's up to them). You could try something like that. Just don't talk about the three things that are impossible to discuss without getting into an argument: Religion, Politics, and Pizza Toppings.

 

[Sigel]

Hit it and quit it

Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude it is not going to work. If your religion and politics(you mentioned Obama) differ that much and she can't even let you say "god" in any context other than religious in her presence, the odds really are not in your favor.

 

[Nwabudike Morgan]

Well, people of different beliefs can work.

Not when the two people are diametrically opposed on core moral issues.

 

[10BIT]

Go for it! You like her, she likes you, any differences in opinion can be easily avoided (or even changed) if the both of you truly are intelligent, compassionate and genuinely like each other.

If you still need to be convinced, how about this viewpoint:

There are only two possible outcomes to the relationship, either you get on well with each other and have a wonderful time while you're together, or you realise you're not compatible with each other and gain some life experience.
If you decide not to go out with her, you'll spend much of your time wandering if you have made the right decision.

That's the biggest problem. I [i/]have[/i] told her my beliefs. When she said that text about the Oh my God thing, she said after, "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have said anything. You don't like me as much anymore do you?"

Truth be told, I didn't. I told her that I'm an atheist and her only reply was "why?" to which I told her why but then she just said "can we not talk about this anymore?"

If I can't talk to her about deep spiritual things like that, how can this work?

Be patient. She doesn't want to talk about this stuff because she fears losing you if she does, and I'd take this as a good sign.

After time, she will be willing to talk about the more spiritual stuff when she feels that she can trust you not to hate her for it. Just don't get too pushy when bringing this stuff up and don't force your opinions on her and I'm sure you will get along fine.

 

[lazy_bum]

Dilema and abit there.
Speaking from my personal experiance of having dated two girls of that ilk in the past I would personally suggest steering clear of a relationship. The subject of religion and personal morals will always come back to haunt you, if those differences are small or both are accepting of the fact that others will have different points of view then it can work.
However the type of person you have described doesn't sound like the type unfortunatly. At the end of the day though it will always be between you two about such issues.
also.

It also doesn't help that she told me I'm the first guy she's ever had feelings for and that she thinks she's falling for me.

Ah. oh dear. That is going to be an issue whatever you do. Am probably stating obvious as you have brought it up but just to make sure. If you really are the first guy she has had proper feelings for then whatever happens it is going to have large psychological impact on her that will probably form the basis of her relationships for years to come. Extreme caution advised.

Probably best to confront her tactfully on the issue of differences in morals and beliefs etc before you get anymore serious, but as i said before. you know her better than me so you will be a better judge of such things.

All the best mate, hope it works out well.

Could be worse. I pretend to be Pagan to people I don't want to know.

I date the pagans. In fact the best relationships i've had have been/are with pagans. much more open and liberal on the whole.
Except for the Femenist Extremist(s) you find in most Wiccan groups.

 

[Perception]

snippity do da

If everything else meshes, it comes down to how open you are to people of different creeds and opinions, as well as how open SHE is to the same.

I'm an agnostic myself, and on principle opposed to organized religion and most of what it stands for. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is a believing roman catholic.

We are both very open to other people's ideas and beliefs, however, and this is what makes it work. We have some very satisfying discussions on philosophy and religion, probably moreso than I could have with someone who believed the exact same as me. The trick is not to get offended by the fact that not everyone believes the same as you.

Of course, it has to be mutual. You can be as tolerant as you like, but it'll be a moot point if she is not willing to return the favor.

 

[WolfThomas]

Marry her and live like its a hilarious sit-com.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

HA! Sucks to be you!


Time to go burn the cross and hail Satan!

 

[technoted]

simple answer, take her to see slayer, or change your religion and say "Thor above" or "for Odins sake" or something like that

 

[Macgyvercas]

Well, people of different beliefs can work.

Not when the two people are diametrically opposed on core moral issues.

Again, it's possible. My girlfriend and I are diametrically opposed on the issue of gay marriage, but we still get along great. We just don't talk about issues that we severely disagree on. Also, my mother knows a couple where one person is Jewish and the other is Muslim. Think of something more opposed than that.