Relationship Dilemma - FINAL UPDATE. IF YOU POSTED HERE BEFORE, PLEASE VIEW MY LATEST POST

[Aesir23]

tell her what your beliefs are and see if shell accept you with them and try to accept her beliefs. if it seems to fall apart and cant talki about important things because of it, then id think it wouldn't work out

That's the biggest problem. I [i/]have[/i] told her my beliefs. When she said that text about the Oh my God thing, she said after, "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have said anything. You don't like me as much anymore do you?"

Truth be told, I didn't. I told her that I'm an atheist and her only reply was "why?" to which I told her why but then she just said "can we not talk about this anymore?"

If I can't talk to her about deep spiritual things like that, how can this work?

It can't.

I have pretty much zero experience with relationships, but if you can't discuss serious issues with someone, then things will very likely end badly if you try to pursue a relationship. But if you both think that you guys can make it work, then certainly go ahead and try.

 

[WickedSkin]

snip snap

Opposites makes the best couples whenever it works out. Go for it it'll at least be a laugh I promise.

 

[Dan506]

What should I do?

One word: Saddlebacking.

On a more serious note, I'm in close to the same boat. My girl is very, very religious and we often clash a bit on issues like homosexuality (she thinks its horrible and wrong, I'd like to hook up a threesome with one of my female friends. /sigh). It's not the end of the world. Honestly, if you enjoy the time together you'll find these issues aren't really that significant to your own lives, and you can pretty much ignore the difference in opinion. Sometimes you'll argue over it, sure, but it doesn't need to interfere with your relationship.

Despite the fact that we have completely different worldviews (her a fundamentalist christian, me an atheist) and on morality, it's been 3 years and I couldn't be happier.

I say go for it, just avoid the touchy topics at least until your more committed.

 

[Dan506]

If I can't talk to her about deep spiritual things like that, how can this work?

It can't.

I have pretty much zero experience with relationships, but if you can't discuss serious issues with someone, then things will very likely end badly if you try to pursue a relationship. But if you both think that you guys can make it work, then certainly go ahead and try.

Believe it or not, it's the little things that make a relationship work. Accept her views, debate with her if you both enjoy the discourse, and enjoy the time you spend with her. The important thing is to remember is to always, always, always respect and listen to her opinion - regardless of whether your thinking 'how the hell could anyone have an idea so stupid?'. You don't have to agree.

The real question is, as an atheist, what 'deep spiritual issues' do you need to talk to her about? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY. Listen to hers, you may find it strikingly interesting even if you think it's all bullshit. It will broaden your own perspective and help you see people differently.

 

[Nanaki316]

Every relationship needs its compromises.
It's like for instance her liking a TV show you despise. Realise that she has to watch it because she's into it even if you aren't and you can spend this time doing something YOU want to do.

When it comes to religion, you need to understand she's religious for whatever reason and you need to explain to her you aren't and she in turn needs to understand that.
If the woman tries to change your beliefs and forces this stuff on you when it's clearly not what you want then the compromise is no longer there, and the reverse would perhaps be you being blasphemous or something in front of her? If you can respect her beliefs and she can respect yours there's absolutely no reason why it can't work. You just go do your non religious stuff with your friends whilst she does her religious stuff with hers.

 

[Turing]

Do it, nao!

 

[Ekonk]

Tell her that you like her too and hope for the best.
Obviously you shouldn't be asking a gaming forum about help with girls. That's like asking a bunch of suspiciously looking virgins about sex.

Actually, it IS asking a bunch of suspiciously looking virgins about sex.

But I think I can't help here. All I can say is go for it, and if it doesn't work then it's too bad. No need to give up before trouble has risen, though.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

Just get with her, who cares about her religious views? Those can be changed with time!

Oh believe me, I've tried, and it don't work.

Just don't hate her for being religious.

I don't think it's so much that he hates her beliefs, rather that he knows that neither of them will change, and this will lead to problems down the line.

Which I think it will, by the way.

I think it will lead to problems as well, I know it would for me.

A religious girl I could deal with, but when her religious beliefs cause her to stand for everything you are against, well then there will be blood.

 

[DemonicVixen]

Could be worse. I pretend to be Pagan to people I don't want to know.

That would probably hook me onto you then lol coz i am actually a pagan witch in practise.

OT: Ok so you have to watch what you say but big deal. My auntie is a re-born Christian and so i have to be careful what i say or do else i get a bible smashed off my face and a curse minus gods name lol. In the end, if you like her, go for it. Just don't tell her you like Satan and it will go well. Then again, if she likes manga and videogames, don't they both quite often come up with things that go agains't religious beliefs? Oh well... Your choice, take her with her religion, or leave her and miss what could be a perfect girl.

 

[WolfThomas]

Marry her and live like its a hilarious sit-com.

yea that would be great
Jullis:Honey im home....Honey?(finds note in kitchen)
at klux klux clan(i mean no offence) metting order out BUT NO CHINESE
JULLISh her (laugh) roll credits
hmm what would call it

It's late but I give it a few shots:
FUNDAMENTAL - the title being like that, FUN appearing first, then MENTAL with DA droping between, before becoming the full title FUNDAMENTAL

House of Gosh - Playing on the above mentioned use of gosh.

Gospel of Julian

Puns might work:
Methodist in their madness
2 and 1/2 Mormons


I've got nothing, I like the first.

 

[LostintheWick]

JUST TALK HONESTLY TO HER about this and if she accepts that you are different and if you can accept that she is too, you will be fine. Yes... there will be arguments but don't let that scare you off. Arguments are inevitable no matter what anyways.

Take a chance. What's the worse that can happen? You might end up where you started, but with a little more experience and a better idea of what YOU can handle and can't. Just put your thoughts and opinions out there (just be nice about it).

 

[lvl9000_woot]

Where's my box of knives..

Escapist is not the "Corner of Broken Hearts" magazine. Seriously.

Wait...it's not? Dammit :|

OT: I'd say give her a shot. If things take a turn for the worst, call it off and stop talking to her.

 

[Actual]

Well you're agonising over whether it can work because she's a Christian. Maybe she'd have the same hesitation if she found out you're not.

Talk it out with her, see if she'd still consider seeing you despite your flaws. If she's willing then maybe you should be too.

Also you called her gay hating, is that true or are you just assuming it because she's religious?

 

[Goombanator]

Yeah- if shes really as extreme as she sounds- Then I dont understand how you could want to be around her. assuming of course that the way she talks is realy offensive. You didn't mention how old she was- perhaps her attidute is somthing she picked up from her parents and once she's out on her own she can open her mind a little- but a gay bashing obama hater? Get rid- or at least hit it, then make the ***** get an abortion, bet she hates those.

 

[lvl9000_woot]

Marry her and live like its a hilarious sit-com.

OH MY GOSH!

That'll be a bigger hit than 7th Heaven!

Throw in a wacky neighbor and you've got yourself a show!

 

[BubbaJeff]

I'ma go ahead and italicise this: Talk to her about it?

I mean, most people who ask questions like this have already pretty much made up their minds and are just looking for people to agree with them.

Also, i love how hateful this forum is.

 

[WolfThomas]

OH MY GOSH!

That'll be a bigger hit than 7th Heaven!

Throw in a wacky neighbor and you've got yourself a show![/quote]

Maybe a hilarious Muslim neighbour whose completely innocent, but keeps doing stuff that seems shady. The episode where she waterboards him is an instant classic, he's like "I thought you meant surfing glub glub glub"

 

[Rock 'n' Soul]

My first instinct is to tell you to "RUN!", but maybe the more reasonable approach would be to just sit her down and tell her how you feel. If she's not a total psycho, she'll hear you out. Or, you could just save yourself a lot of time and ask her how she feels about Kirk Cameron and make your decision based on that.