That is one issue. They're opposed on pretty much every issue.Macgyvercas said:
And not all Jews hate Muslims, and not all Muslims hate Jews.
There seriously is no way this relationship is ever going to work.
Relationship Dilemma - FINAL UPDATE. IF YOU POSTED HERE BEFORE, PLEASE VIEW MY LATEST POST
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And not all Jews hate Muslims, and not all Muslims hate Jews.
There seriously is no way this relationship is ever going to work.
Before I reply I should take the time to make the note that I am a christan. However I am also very "liberal" minded ( i.e. I quite like Obama, I support gay rights and a several of my friends are Islamic and Hindu. Also christan fundelmentalists piss me off.)
Now thats outa they way.
Next be honest about your beleifs (just don't be a wanker and do the "I'm right and your wrong"). If she doesn't exept what you believe she'll:
A. Not want to see you again
or
B. Try to convert you. (This isn't a bad window a for you to try do the same to her, but if you get draged to a Hillsong [wiki it] type thing don't pay anyone any money.)
If she exepts you despit your beliefs who are you to reject her for her beliefs.
One last thing shut-in christan teens/young adults are generally easily corrupted *evil grin*.
Now thats outa they way.
First things first. Did she say this stuff or is this just generlisation you've made in your head about christans.Julianking93 said:
Next be honest about your beleifs (just don't be a wanker and do the "I'm right and your wrong"). If she doesn't exept what you believe she'll:
A. Not want to see you again
or
B. Try to convert you. (This isn't a bad window a for you to try do the same to her, but if you get draged to a Hillsong [wiki it] type thing don't pay anyone any money.)
If she exepts you despit your beliefs who are you to reject her for her beliefs.
One last thing shut-in christan teens/young adults are generally easily corrupted *evil grin*.
I'm going to guess you're young... or the notion of falling for someone you've only mainly been in contact with via textual representations over the period of a week wouldn't have come up.
So, have a relationship with her, it'll be good practice for the real things later in life... seeing as it's rare that childhood sweethearts amount to a lifetime love from it, mostly because both parties are rubbish at being in relationships.
Practice makes perfect...
Unless of course the differences really bother you (which in my humble opinion they really should and the last thing you should want to do is associate your with someone carrying such views), in which case don't lead her on, be polite and tell her it just couldn't work then move on. Though I'm not sure how much moving on after a week would be needed.
So, have a relationship with her, it'll be good practice for the real things later in life... seeing as it's rare that childhood sweethearts amount to a lifetime love from it, mostly because both parties are rubbish at being in relationships.
Practice makes perfect...
Unless of course the differences really bother you (which in my humble opinion they really should and the last thing you should want to do is associate your with someone carrying such views), in which case don't lead her on, be polite and tell her it just couldn't work then move on. Though I'm not sure how much moving on after a week would be needed.
I actually think he should actually pursue a relationship with her, just so he can live through the horrible, painful breakup that will result, as a learning experience.
I'll tell you this... same thing happened to me with a girl, but we had been talking for years... Later, we had both sort of decided it wouldn't work out do to religious differences (she was super religious and I'm pretty much atheist), but were still friends. Then January 1st of this year, her parents sent me an email saying she would no longer be talking to me, that they were thankful that she recognized her wrong, and quoted some bullshit bible verses... Haven't heard from her in over a year... :/
Ok,
Like a few of the other posters I'm Christian and my girlfriend is not. I do not share the same beliefs as her (or most of my friends for that matter) on a few issues, and the same probably applies for about everyone else I'll meet for the rest of my life.
Now firstly I'd like to clarify that I was never as Fundementalist Christian as her but I still believed in Creationism etc. and thought that God was a puppet master and we all marionettes in his big "plan".
Up until the age of about 10 I had never met anyone who wasn't also Christian. When I did I argued with him. For a long time. Eventually I realised that I was being foolish and we became firends. Once I got to highschool I went from spending about 5% of my time with non-Christians to spending about that much time with Christians, and I can honestly say that my beliefs have been changed by that alot, and in a good way.
Now let's say that you end up in a relationship and everything is fine and dandy and she ends up spending about half of her time with non-Christians who she meets through you. She will almost definately, at one point in time talk about her beleifs with them. Eventually she'll come to accept that people don't all share her beliefs and I'm sure she'll deal with it. On the topic of the "Obama hating, bible bashing etc"; do you honestly think that she will stick to her guns about things like homophobia or racism? In this day and age?
You will never meet someone who is "perfect", you may meet someone who is close. She mightn't be the closest you'll find to your idea of perfect but it's just as likely that she is.
Worst case senario: You go out with her. You're happy for a few weeks. She nags you and you're no longer happy with the relationship. You have a massive fight and break up and don't talk to her ever again. How are you in any worse a place than you were before you met her?
or
Worst case senario: You don't go out with her. Save a lot of time, money, heartache etc. You regret it for the rest of your life.
In the end all that you ever need to worry about in a relationship is whether or not you're happier as a cause of the relationship. That goes for friendships too. If you genuinely think that she'll cause you more greif than happieness then don't have a relationship with her. Honestly though, I can almost guarantee that for at least a little while she'll make you happy, even if it's only as a friend.
It all comes down to that. In fact, I would argue that in all facets of your life, as long as no one if being harmed by your actions, you should always be doing things that will either make you happy or bring you closer to happiness.
The ball is in your park.
Like a few of the other posters I'm Christian and my girlfriend is not. I do not share the same beliefs as her (or most of my friends for that matter) on a few issues, and the same probably applies for about everyone else I'll meet for the rest of my life.
Now firstly I'd like to clarify that I was never as Fundementalist Christian as her but I still believed in Creationism etc. and thought that God was a puppet master and we all marionettes in his big "plan".
Up until the age of about 10 I had never met anyone who wasn't also Christian. When I did I argued with him. For a long time. Eventually I realised that I was being foolish and we became firends. Once I got to highschool I went from spending about 5% of my time with non-Christians to spending about that much time with Christians, and I can honestly say that my beliefs have been changed by that alot, and in a good way.
Now let's say that you end up in a relationship and everything is fine and dandy and she ends up spending about half of her time with non-Christians who she meets through you. She will almost definately, at one point in time talk about her beleifs with them. Eventually she'll come to accept that people don't all share her beliefs and I'm sure she'll deal with it. On the topic of the "Obama hating, bible bashing etc"; do you honestly think that she will stick to her guns about things like homophobia or racism? In this day and age?
You will never meet someone who is "perfect", you may meet someone who is close. She mightn't be the closest you'll find to your idea of perfect but it's just as likely that she is.
Worst case senario: You go out with her. You're happy for a few weeks. She nags you and you're no longer happy with the relationship. You have a massive fight and break up and don't talk to her ever again. How are you in any worse a place than you were before you met her?
or
Worst case senario: You don't go out with her. Save a lot of time, money, heartache etc. You regret it for the rest of your life.
In the end all that you ever need to worry about in a relationship is whether or not you're happier as a cause of the relationship. That goes for friendships too. If you genuinely think that she'll cause you more greif than happieness then don't have a relationship with her. Honestly though, I can almost guarantee that for at least a little while she'll make you happy, even if it's only as a friend.
It all comes down to that. In fact, I would argue that in all facets of your life, as long as no one if being harmed by your actions, you should always be doing things that will either make you happy or bring you closer to happiness.
The ball is in your park.
Just do eet! But no really, you said you were like almost in love with her, she was your dream girl or whatever before you knew about her beliefs, why should it be any different after knowing what she believes in? You should still go and try her and get past the whole belief thing, it will work out if it wants to.
"Julian! How could you? I expected better from you. You met her on the internet! She's probably a guy!"
Love
Mr. Mcshitface
xxx
Seriously though, this does call for a little bit of consideration. If it was me, I would be totally honest with her and lay my opinions beliefs on the table so she knew where I stood (which you have obviously already done) and see what kind of response I got. I would be firm and fair but not tell her she was wrong in her beliefs. (since unless you are the super genius of the world, you can't prove them either way)
If she's still there, it's a good thing since the fact you DONT believe in XYZ doesn't put her off.....so then why should the fact she DOES believe XYZ put you off either?
My missus and I do not share any beliefs and can argue endlessly about EVERYTHING. She is certainly not the type of person I thought I would end up with, but the fact that we are different has definitely made us stronger since in areas where I lack knowledge, she can still teach me stuff. Even if I don't believe in somthing(anything), I can still learn to understand why others believe in it.
Disclaimer: everyone is different, some less or more tolerant than others so please only take this as an example of a positive outcome of differences. However, if despite these blatant differences, you can still chat to her and have something in common, then such a relationship might work well.
It still sounds early days to me. Don't rush if there's no hurry and just take it slow. Time will soon tell if it isn't going to work out. But certainly, don't give up JUST because she believes different things.
Love
Mr. Mcshitface
xxx
Seriously though, this does call for a little bit of consideration. If it was me, I would be totally honest with her and lay my opinions beliefs on the table so she knew where I stood (which you have obviously already done) and see what kind of response I got. I would be firm and fair but not tell her she was wrong in her beliefs. (since unless you are the super genius of the world, you can't prove them either way)
If she's still there, it's a good thing since the fact you DONT believe in XYZ doesn't put her off.....so then why should the fact she DOES believe XYZ put you off either?
My missus and I do not share any beliefs and can argue endlessly about EVERYTHING. She is certainly not the type of person I thought I would end up with, but the fact that we are different has definitely made us stronger since in areas where I lack knowledge, she can still teach me stuff. Even if I don't believe in somthing(anything), I can still learn to understand why others believe in it.
Disclaimer: everyone is different, some less or more tolerant than others so please only take this as an example of a positive outcome of differences. However, if despite these blatant differences, you can still chat to her and have something in common, then such a relationship might work well.
It still sounds early days to me. Don't rush if there's no hurry and just take it slow. Time will soon tell if it isn't going to work out. But certainly, don't give up JUST because she believes different things.
I realize I'm a bit late into this, but it can't work.Julianking93 said:
My ex and I had many differing beliefs, to the point where we really didn't have anything in common. Her father was a pastor at a Lutheran church and she really had trouble with how I feel about religion. We never talked about it because of this. That was the worst. The deepest conversations we ever had were to the extent of, "I love you more." "No, I love you more!"
I think that the smartest thing to do in your situation would be to let her know that, due to your differing beliefs, it wouldn't work out. She already seems to hate your stance, so she should understand. I mean, better than it ending bad later, right?
h her (laugh) roll credits
Accept her if she accepts you. If she can accept your beliefs and she won't intrude or offend you, you should do the same.
That's an incredibly tough one, especially since she is so sweet. Earlier posts were right though, sooner or later one of you will say something that will go completely against what the other one believes and, unless one of you is willing to compromise your own beliefs, then that is basically it anyway.
Usually I would say that people who are so opposite in their viewpoints would have difficulties having a permanent, lifetime relationship... though there are always exception to the rule.
My advice would be to either tell her how you feel or be friends forever. Personally, I wouldn't be able to date biblethumpiing obama bashers XD
My advice would be to either tell her how you feel or be friends forever. Personally, I wouldn't be able to date biblethumpiing obama bashers XD