Respect

[Julianking93]

If you're with your friends why do they care if you wear a hat indoors?

Probably not, but is that the point? They probably also wouldn't care if I'd excavate the contents of my nose while belching loudly, but I don't do that either. It's all just a matter of being respectful.

And I don't mean "respect" in the hiphop-ganstah "Show me some respect, biatch!" way. It's not about being the alpha male who has to enforce his own rules. To respect is to show we're all equal, not to establish who's boss.

Sorry, but I've never really gotten the whole "edict" and "respect" thing. I'm respectful and polite to people and I treat everyone as an equal, but I don't get how wearing a hat indoors is deemed as bad manners. Unless its a very noticeable hat like a top hat or a fedora. I usually wear beanies.

Maybe it's because I mostly wear (quite noticeable) trilbies, but one of the ways to be polite to people I have is to take of my hat when greeting them.

By the way, taking of your hat was originally used to show trust and friendship, and originates from the time where warriors were wearing full helmets. It's a lot more easier to communicate if you take of your helmet, but you'd only do that if you didn't expect the other one to stab you in the eye. Thus, taking of your helmet for somebody meant the other one was either a friend or a honorable warrior, and became the sign of a gentlemen.

The habit stuck around when helmets were exchanged for hats.

Maybe its just because I don't wear hats that I'm not getting it. I understand the tipping your hate to someone, but since I don't wear hats, I don't study the edict of how to wear a hat.

 

[jboking]

[HEADING=2]Respect everyone until they give you a reason not to.[/HEADING]

Removing your hat in another persons house or when requested to, has long been a sign of respect. Respect the old woman until she gives you reason not to. If you have a legitimate reason to keep your hat on, fine.

Common sense? In this thread? On these forums?
Did I accidentally click a link to bizzaro escapistmagazine.com cuz I coulda sworn everyone here was a self serving wanker who thinks the world revolves around them and that people should prove themselves (despite the individuals in question having their fair share of flaws).

Ok I'm exaggerating, but seriously I know I shouldn't be surprised that there are people who live by the motto "no respect until its earned" but I am disappointed by it.

Th...thank you?

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for girls, they are forward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behavior and dress."

FECKING YOUNG PEOPLE! They've been bastards for the last two and a half millenia!

This honestly made me laugh. Bravo.

 

[historybuff]

Respect your elders. It's not a big deal. Remove your hat when the old woman is there. Leave it on the rest of the time. There's no point in starting a tiff with your friend's grandmother over something so trivial.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

Just take it off, what harm will it do you...

Edit: just realised that I set myself up for a "thats what she said" quote...

 

[SmartIdiot]

The thing about old people is that they come from a time when morality, bravery, honour, duty and respect were words with real meaning, and back then kids respected their elders because they recognized that older people were valuable, and far more wise than they were. On top of that, you'd get a smack if you were an uppity little shit who wouldn't take his hat off indoors. Taking your hat off is an ancient sign of respect, showing that you aren't hiding your identity/are comfortable leaving your head unprotected. Same thing with shaking hands, it shows you aren't holding a weapon in them.

Just respect your elders mate, they're better than you or me.

I see a disconcerting amount of conflict with this post. Why? It's a good point, while I don't agree with all of it the main focus seems to be the generation gap. Happens all the time, no big deal. It's not worth arguing over because people from different generations can't understand what it's like to be in the others shoes.

Punch her in the jaw.

Or take off my hat. It's only a fucking hat, Jeebus.

This has made the most sense so far.

*snip*
but I can't shake the nagging feeling that the way I behave isn't as much polite as it is sexist and ageist, even though most people seem to appreciate my behaviour.

...and that was a brilliant rant up until that point. If you're made to feel like you're being ageist or sexist just for showing simple common courtesy you've fallen victim to the PC police and all that other popular bullshit to make people feel like they're in the wrong. All the time.

 

[CloakedOne]

Older people are valuable and their wisdom should be held dear (some of their wisdoms, anyway), but I fail to see the value in griping at somebody for a tradition that not everyone follows. If you had been in *her* house, that'd be different, but you weren't.

 

[Sad Robot]

...and that was a brilliant rant up until that point. If you're made to feel like you're being ageist or sexist just for showing simple common courtesy you've fallen victim to the PC police and all that other popular bullshit to make people feel like they're in the wrong. All the time.

Fair point, though I imagine it's certainly more due to my compulsive need to evaluate and re-evaluate my behaviour and that of others. While the whole "ageism" side of it it may be little more than a figment of my over-analytical mindset, I do think there's an argument to be made for the sexism thing. But, that, I think depends entirely on how you show said common courtesy. You can be very casual about it or you can make it seem like some kind of chivalrous act that might impress others and offend others.

However, I'm a human being, a relatively selfish one; I'm not trying to please everyone, that's impossible at any rate. I do, however, attempt to factor even the more ridiculous and far-fetched ideas and notions, whether or not they were brought to my attention by the PC police, as I form and reform my set of moral values (edit: and indeed behaviour). It's never-ending process.

 

[Poomanchu745]

The thing about old people is that they come from a time when morality, bravery, honour, duty and respect were words with real meaning, and back then kids respected their elders because they recognized that older people were valuable, and far more wise than they were. On top of that, you'd get a smack if you were an uppity little shit who wouldn't take his hat off indoors. Taking your hat off is an ancient sign of respect, showing that you aren't hiding your identity/are comfortable leaving your head unprotected. Same thing with shaking hands, it shows you aren't holding a weapon in them.

Just respect your elders mate, they're better than you or me.

Thats horse shit. I respect my elders. But not because i think they're better than me. Simply because i tend to respect the wishes of everyone. Respect everyone until they give you cause not to. Elder or not.

Ya i drive better than an elder person so that in turn makes me better than all of them! You don't see me fall asleep and roll into a building!

But I digress...Ya i would have taken my hat off but thats cause I try not to piss anyone off that I don't know really well. Not worth it to get in a fight over a hat with an old person cause chances are they will only listen to half of what you say because their hearing aid is going out and then might not even remember any of it because of their alzheimers. Then every 5 minutes you will have them telling you to take off ur hat and then yelling at you, only for them to forget it happened and the whole situation repeat itself.... Moral of the story, don't argue with old people, they don't fight fair!

 

[Slash Dementia]

I would have taken off my hat. If it's she finds it disrespectful to be wearing a hat indoors, then by all means, I'll take the hat off. No, it's not her place to tell you what you should do, but it's your girlfriend's mother and she hasn't given you a reason to not respect her (I'm guessing) so just try to get along.

Everyone has my respect until they give me a reason not to respect them.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

If I did everything old people wanted me to, I would hate myself.

 

[Kiefer13]

Just respect your elders mate, they're better than me.

True enough, and fixed.

Being old just proves you haven't died yet.

Anyway, I'd have kept my hat on.
I like my hat.

I would have to agree with this. People have to earn respect. I'm not going to give an older person any more respect than anyone else just because they've managed to stick around longer. Not that I'm saying I don't respect old people who are wise and all that, because I do. Everyone gets a base level of respect from me initially, until they either prove that they don't deserve it, or that they deserve more. But a person that was a rude git for most of their life doesn't suddenly get any more respect from me just because they've become an old rude git.

In regards to the whole hat situtation, while I understand the history of the tradition, I think it's silly to maintain it in casual situations. Now, if you were in her house, or at some sort of formal event, then yes I could understand the request and would comply with it. Otherwise, she had no right to demand things of you. Being old is not an excuse for being impolite.

I do my best to be polite, and will make small concessions if it will keep people happy generally as long as it doesn't bother me too much, but I refuse to let people think they can just demand things of me and get them.

 

[Lullabye]

Well, judging from humanities past and present, and on various personnal experiences, I can safely say I respect almost no-one. If you want my respect, you must earn it. Whether your 12,20 or 60 yrs old, I will have no respect(and no disrespect, that must also be earned) for you until i get to know you.

 

[orangebandguy]

Take off the hat and avoid the hassle. Serously once an old person starts complaining they never stop.

 

[Eldarion]

It's only a fucking hat, Jeebus.

It's a matter of respect, not the hat sir.

no. It's a hat. you've blown it out of proportion. grats?

Off topic, but that is one awesome avatar.

On topic= It is only a hat but he does have the right to wear it if he wants to.

 

[Cliff_m85]

I'm a great believer in the principle of respecting one's elders. In a situation like that, I think the right thing to do would have been to comply with her wishes. You're probably right in your belief that she didn't really have the right to ask such a thing of you, but then again, she's many, many years your senior, and asking something relatively harmless of you. Why not?

That, and she's your girlfriend's grandmother. You don't want to make a bad impression with her family, do you?

Old =/= deserving of respect. Wisdom = deserving of respect.

Is it wrong to assume that living through 84 years on this planet doesn't make you wiser than someone who hasn't lived nearly as long?

Absolutely. Age doesn't magically give a person wisdom. I've met plenty of bitter racist old people with delusional fantasies just as I met plenty of 30-somethings that have their head screwed on correctly.

 

[BaldursBananaSoap]

I wouldn't do it. Loads of old people are all about respect for them and them alone from everyone else. It doesn't work that way, respect must be earned, not given because you're older than everyone else. What's she done in her life that deserves more respect than a soldier jumping on a mine in Iraq with the bag on his back saving the lifes of four of his men, his comrades?

Age is not the deciding factor when it comes to respect. So what if some guy is 74? Is he wise? Does that make him smart and respectable? When people hit 65 are they given a ceremony saying "Congrats, you survived the first 2/3 of life! Now people will respect you for nothing!" No, it's what you've done in life that gets respect. Of course, some old people can still get respect, like the D-DAY soldier who played the bagpipes for his men in the middle of battle.

Take your hat off, and stuff it down her throat.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Take off my hat, and know to never put it on again indoors when she's around. I'm not about to piss off a old women because silly pride into keeping my hat on

 

[whycantibelinus]

Lotta young whipper-snappers don't know their place these days. We respect our elders because they've already made the mistakes that they don't want us to make and seen shit we wouldn't believe. You know why old uncle Joe (or whatever) keeps telling you to find a nice girl? Because he married a ***** and got stuck with her. You know why Grandpa tells you to go to school? Because he didn't and spend his life laying railway ties. You know why Grandma wants you to take off your hat? Because she's lived through WW2, the rise of the Soviet Union, seen man land on the moon, cried when JFK and RFK died, protested the Vietnam war, saw the fall of the Soviet Union and the collapse of the Berlin Wall (probably all before you were born) and she sure as shit won't put up someone being rude in front of her.

Yes, people, wearing a hat indoors is rude. Keep your elbows off the table, chew with your mouth closed, and take your hat off.

Your logic didn't make sense, uncle Joe and Grandpa both EXPERIENCED those things, while Grandma watched those things happen on tv. She was rather well off growing up anyway and I think the only way she earned money as an adult was by marrying dudes who would mysteriously die and she'd inherit their money.

 

[EnzoHonda]

Your logic didn't make sense, uncle Joe and Grandpa both EXPERIENCED those things, while Grandma watched those things happen on tv. She was rather well off growing up anyway and I think the only way she earned money as an adult was by marrying dudes who would mysteriously die and she'd inherit their money.

"Mysteriously die[d]" Now you're just being silly. Really.