Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[staika]

Granted, but it turns out the game sucks >.>

I wish I had more money!

 

[steeple]

granted, you now have an extra cent...
also the economy collapsed, again...

I wish for a tasty sandwich

 

[staika]

Granted, the first few bites are tasty but as you go to look whats on the sandwich you discover a sandwitch!

I wish for sand

 

[steeple]

granted, a witch turns you into sand (see what I did there?)

I wish for more people to see what I did there

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, and people hate you and your cleverness.

I wish to be super OP.

 

[staika]

Granted, But no one cares D:

I wish for people to like me!

 

[steeple]

granted, someone who already liked you has a split personality, that now likes you too

I wish I could sleep for 24 hours

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but to reach this point, you must consume a dangerous amount of LSD for a good portion of your lifetime.

I wish for a mountain of cocaine.

 

[steeple]

granted, it's located on the moon

I wish for the moon (including your mountain )

he led the 5th army of the criteria

 

[Letitha]

Granted, but then you die.

I wish for all of the cleaning to be done so I can stop putting everything off and get something productive done.

 

[steeple]

granted, now grab a gun and fight off a tyranid invasion

I wish I had money (and time (and willpower)) to get into WH40k...

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but now you will die due to the awesomeness or something.

I wish I remembered to post here more.

 

[steeple]

granted, your internet you dies out, have fun!

I wish to be able to read faster (without my head exploding, of course)

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. You read so fast, that you have no idea what you just read and have to start over, every time.

I wish for another pie.

 

[Athol]

Granted; it tasets terrible.

I wish...for a fish

 

[Eumersian]

Granted, but you must find it?

Spoiler: with these people.

I wish for excess awesome.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but it comes in the form of awesome mucus! It's twice as awesome as your previous mucus!

I wish for an ungranted wish.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. God sees through your attempt at cleverness and rocks fall. You die.

I wish for better cooking skills.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you now know how to cook feces two thousand different ways!

I wish to meet people from the Escapist.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Turns out, we're all assholes.

I wish for some motivation.