Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted. That was Miami Snow right? Have fun with your Cocaine addiction!

I wish for a sock fight between two chicks

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it ends in a fatality.

I wish for the weekend to start again.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Granted. You talk to that girl you didn't have the guts to go over to. She is completely uninterested in you.

I wish for Tommy Illfigga to show up at my house.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, He ends up wrecking the place.

I Wish for a Red Slush Puppy

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but he melts into sticky sugary goo after an hour.

I wish for dreams.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. This is what you get

(Skip to about 6 minutes in)

I wish for more Goldfish crackers.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, They are out of date.

I wish for a dead pony.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but then it comes back to life, stabs you and takes your money.

I wish to be the best there is at what I do.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted you will forever be remembered and worshipped as the Minotaur who died from fright.

I wish for a tasty dinner.

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. A plague comes and kills all of the hot minotaur babes. Only guys are left, so they die out.

I wish I could have sex.

 

[steeple]

granted, but everyone else suddenly vanish and you're left as the last person in the world...

I wish I could sleep for 24 hours without stopping

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. You're in a coma that you can never wake up from.

I wish I could catapult a squirrel.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it will land on your head and cause your head to be engulfed in squirrel flames.

I wish for popcron.

 

[steeple]

granted, it pops in your mouth with the force of a 5 megaton bomb...

I wish I could be as badass as teddy roosevelt

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. You're so badass people are afraid of you, and their irrational fear causes them to launch you into the sun.

I wish I was a witch.

 

[steeple]

granted, but the wish-granter has a slight case of dyslexia, and mistakes the w' for a b', enjoy...

I wish for a fishing net made of fishes

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Sharks eat you fishy-fishing net net.

I wish I had a stick made of fishies to give you.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, it's made of Sharks.

I wish for a montage.