Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. It's ten years long.

I wish I had wings. Although a Redbull could grant that...

 

[Trivun]

Granted. It's ten years long.

I wish I had wings. Although a Redbull could grant that...

Granted, but they would be fixed on with wax, and melt when you reach too high an altitude...

I wish I was able to date Shion Sonozaki...

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. She gets Level 4 Hinamizawa Syndrome and hangs you up as she stabs your arms, saying it was an act of love.

I wish for a pet dragon that won't kill me or hurt me.

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. You have so much time you do everything you want and need. So you go insane from boredom.

I wish I could enter the fictional worlds others have created.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you wake up the next morning to discover you're now just words on a page. And it's fan fiction... of Twilight. *shudders*

I wish for an assortment of chocolates.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. They are covered in sea salt, making that the only thing you can taste.

I wish for loose pyjamas.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but they are so loose they are pretty much just a bed sheet.

I wish I got bit by a dog.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

Granted, you get AIDS somehow.

I wish for a Captcha

 

[pyramid head grape]

What's a captcha? XDDD

I wish to be witty!

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. The hat is so nice it gets stolen.

I wish for a cake.

 

[Philol]

Granted, but it has 'special' icing on it

I wish to be rich

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You become a orange to rich to look at.

I wish for 1/2 of a red pen.

 

[lRookiel]

Granted, the pen will leak

I wish for a better internet connection (No really, I do)

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it cost a heap per byte.

I wish to know the metric equivalent volume or mass for heap.

 

[lRookiel]

Granted, it will try to kill you.

I wish for infinite power.

 

[steeple]

granted, you try to punch a wall, but you slip and accidentally punch the ground, making it explode around you... do I even need to mention that you're dead?

I wish to have exactly 54 tasty peanuts on a plate next to me

 

[Kuroneko97]

Granted. You choke on the first.

I wish to be more self-confident.