Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Asita]

Granted. You're now one half the man he used to be, before he became cool.

I wish I wrote a comic.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You create the most indescribably generic comic book series ever. Naturally this makes you millions, but the thought that you could make millions from something so generic drives you into suicidal depression.

I wish flaming pigeons would cut a hole in my roof to let in some sun.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but only if one of the burning pigeons falls into your house and burns it down.

I wish that Thundercats wasn't cancelled.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted but now it's a high school teen drama with zac efron playing Liono!

I wish that SOPA won't pass.

 

[him over there]

Granted, They pass the internet kill switch instead.

I wish they would make a megas xlr gurren lagann cross-over.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but every third word is in Gujurati. And you haven't got a dictionary.

I wish that I had the world's biggest trampoline all to myself.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but the theirs spikes right above it meaning that when you bounce on it, you go straight into those!

I wish that Bioshock Infinite would bloody come out already!

 

[ThunderCavalier]

Granted. However, it's Duke Nukem Forever quality.

I wish that I wasn't tired.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but now you can never go to sleep!

I wish that I had some Pringles right now!

 

[him over there]

Granted, but their addicting nature means you never eat anything else.

I wish I had a robot to stop the guy down the street from leaving his truck idling all morning.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted but after it does that job it turns around and tries to kill YOU!

I wish for eternal happiness.

 

[him over there]

Granted, you receive a movie in the mail titled eternal happiness and it is full of child hood ruining drug psas

I wish to be taken seriously.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted but you are taken so seriously that everything you say is considered an insult to someone!

I wish that Britain could buy FiM!

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, Britain could, but just doesn't want to.

I wish that the waitress had been more polite..

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but now you don't get her serving you. You get douchey mcjerkbag. He is a massive dick.

I wish that my post count could grow faster!

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. You still have about a decade before you catch up to Sassafrass, though.

I wish my life had more Gen 4 pony. (wanted to specify the gen because 3.5 is...no, just no)

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

You are crushed to death by Gen 4 ponies.

I wish for no more sequels!

 

[ThePS1Fan]

Granted, but every first thing is twice as long and the second half is as bas as any sequel would be

I wish for Pie

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's just the pie crust.

I wish for a Classic Jrpg to play.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but it's incredibly terrible

I wish for moar fluttershy episodes!