Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[pyramid head grape]

...

I wish for loud!!!!

 

[TheSYLOH]

Granted, it's so loud that your ear drums burst.
Then your bones start to resonate and they splinter.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You're torn apart and eaten by a ten year old.

I wish I was with child.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. You're surrounded by ravenous infants.

I wish I was Mega Man.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You are killed off on the first level.

I wish I had an orbital death cannon..

 

[pyramid head grape]

Granted. Space taxes are a nightmare!

I wish I had more pillz! D:

 

[TheSYLOH]

Granted, Unfortunately the controls are in orbit too, You can't reach them.

I wish I had control over the Orbital Friendship Cannon...

 

[Meshakhad_v1legacy]

Granted. It isn't working.

I wish it was March 6.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. Due to a sudden blizzard, you're trapped in your house with no internet.

I wish I had a pet lion.

 

[TheSYLOH]

Granted. A squad of police breaks down your door waving a copy of the US Captive Wild Animal Safety Act in your face.
You flee to your lion cage... where, predictably, you are eaten.

I wish I was Omnipotent and Omniscient.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but then someone turned off god mode and you suffocated in space.

I wish for loopholes!

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. You now own a roller coaster with holes in it. This makes it break on the first test run.

I wish for no more college, ever.

 

[superbatranger]

Granted. Have fun working at McDonald's.

I wish for less stress.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You become addicted to heroin.

I wish I legally owned a tamed lion.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it eated you.

I wish the music I was listening to wouldn't stop being amazing.

 

[Zepherus14]

Granted but now you have amnesia... FOREVER!!

I wish I had a ordinary ham on the pieces of regular bread, with nothing else

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. Your sandvich disintegrates as you try to pick it up.

I wish I had a non-disintegrating sandvich.

 

[Zepherus14]

Granted but it had all the other options that mine could have had.

I wish for very mild super powers.

 

[Philol]

Granted, they're useless.

I wish for a pet monkey.

 

[Meshakhad_v1legacy]

Granted. It throws poo at your redneck neighbor. He fires his shotgun back at you, resulting in chronic pain for the rest of your life.

I wish I could be sure I would pass this class.