Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, but it comes at you with such a high velocity that you'll be insta-killed.

I wish for a pet dragon that survives on jellybeans and pukes rainbows that misses the colour green.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but it stomps on you trying to eat a jellybean.

I wish for a rainbow

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. You get Rainbow Dash. Not really ruining a wish, in my opinion, but hey, perhaps you're a pony hater.

I wish for Fluttershy.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, but it's trapped forever inside an impermeable glass dome. MUHAHAHA!

I wish I was head of an inter-stellar dictatorship.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you are overthrown by your own elite guard.

I wish for Minecraft.

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, the creepers are coming to get you... Fear them.

I wish for a penguin with an eyepatch.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Alright, it has an eyepatch. And another eyepatch. Have fun with a blind penguin! ^_^

I wish someone would kick me in the face.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Your head comes off like a golfball off a tee.

I wish that we could have some fucking snow in fucking Canada.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. The fucking snow has hypnotic properties, and everyone is now having sex in the snow.

I wish for a truly challenging wish to ruin..

 

[Robert632]

Granted. Its so challenging that you spend hours trying to discover a way to ruin it, only for some asshole to ninja the wish ruining from you with something dumb like "The [whatever the thing being wished foris] eats you for no reason."

I wish for non-homicidal nail clippers.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. However, your nail clippers are actually composed of finger nails. Hopefully you can find a use for them. >.>

I wish that I was cursed by a demon and damned to a miserable existence.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but then a hero selflessly saves you from the hellish existence. On your way to safety and a happy life you are struck down by a random fireball.

I wish for irony.

 

[TheEmoSpeeds666]

Granted, you get a standing ovation. The crowd throw hats and coats at you to show their appreciation. You are crushed by the weight of the coats, and suffocate. (It's how they killed Draco)

I wish for a challenge.

 

[Timberwolf0924]

Granted, but the challenge is to re-enact the Two Girls one Cup video by yourself..

I wish for a friend!

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. They secretly despise you.

I wish for the Neo badge.

 

[ZehMadScientist]

Granted, but it will detonate if your velocity gets below 20 km/h.

I wish I had a pet ostrich

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but it runs away before you have a chance to name it!

I wish I had a nice supervisor..

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. However, the rest of your coworkers are now homicidal squirrels. I hope you and your friendly supervisor are able to hold them off. ^_^

I wish that someone would grant this wish in some way that will ultimately lead to my untimely demise.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but then you're raised back from the dead, and you're totally not a cool zombie or anything, you're just more chipper than you were before you died in an untimely fashion.

I wish I was made of wood.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You are unable to move. Also, I dropped my termite farm somewhere around here. Clumsy me. >.<

I wish I was in a horrible mood.