Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Verzin]

Granted, you are one of the NPCs.

I wish I had a perfect memory.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You remember things you would much rather forget.

I wish FFXIII were more like FFX.

 

[Zepherus14]

Granted here you go...

Spoiler: You asked for it...

I wish that I had a time machine, that fits in your pocket.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. One night you forget to take it out before you sleep, so you end up rolling over and crushing it.

I wish people would understand that the video that the above poster posted is supposed to sound like that(at least the laugh part, anyway)

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. The rest of the story now gets its soul sucked out.

I wish that people would stop bashing on irrelevant Final Fantasy stuff like The Laugh or whether Kefka or Sephiroth is the better villain, or...well, the entirety of FFXIII. You know, just to name a few.

 

[Qitz]

Granted! The entirety of Final Fantasy is wiped off the face of existence.

I wish I was the leader of the Illuminati.

 

[GrimGrimoire]

Granted. You are also the only member.

I wish I wasn't out of cereal with dried blueberries.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You are now in cereal with dried blueberries.

I wish for a 3d puzzle that doesn't fall apart when you so much as touch it.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

GRANTED! Your 3D puzzle doesn't just fall apart but it shatters into a million pieces once completed.

I wish for Vanilla Coke

 

[him over there]

Granted, it's flat.

I wish for lots of snow.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. There is so much snow that the only way to travel anywhere is to dig snow tunnels. These frequently collapse, so few people dig them anyway.

I wish for a quadruple beaked parrot.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. It shouts out all the embarrassing things about you all the time to everyone.

I wish for a cure for cancer.

 

[Yureina]

Granted, but now everyone gets AIDS instead.

I wish for a new headset.

 

[Sacman]

Granted but it's covered in acid and will soon melt...

I wish to destroy my enemies and take their virgin daughters as my brides...

 

[Qitz]

Granted, their all 9000 lbs with club feet and buck teeth and still wont give up any nookie.

I wish chocobos were real animals.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. Chickens are now extinct, so we eat chocobos instead.

I wish I had a pet moogle.

 

[TheSYLOH]

Granted but this means you are in a Final Fantasy game, and the hero eventually gets your pet moogle, meaning you have to die horribly.

I wish I could code with my mind.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Ehh, not quite. Take Eiko Carol from IX as an example.

Spoiler: Final Fantasy IX spoiler

She didn't ever die when both she and her moogle joined the party. Her moogle did die, though, but it went out in a blaze of glory.

OT: Granted. You can only code using Visual Basic.

I wish I had even better computer repair skills.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, although you can only repair computers from 1991.

I wish that Justin Beiber never exsisted.

 

[TheSYLOH]

Granted, since Justin Beiber is nothing but the product of a music making industry, they come out with another annoying pretty boy who is exactly like him in every way.
Presumably they grow them in labs.

I wish I had an un-ruinable wish.