Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[StormShaun]

Granted. ALL FART NOISES!

I wish for a keyboard I can use as a weapon.

Example.

Spoiler

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. It breaks after one hit.

I wish for bacon.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, it comes from your pet dog.

I wish I had a time machine.

 

[DJ_DEnM]

Granted, but it explodes before it can get any use.

I wish for infinite pub club membership.

 

[madseverus]

Granted, the bottle is the size of your thumb.

I wish for some new things to paint!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, here is the sewer system. Paint it.

*locks in sewers*

I wish for better art.

 

[LynxParadox]

Granted, Its so much better then what we currently have driving us into a new revolutionary stage of humanity focused only on self improvement when suddenly we are so improved that everyone becomes extremely narcissistic an starts wars over who is the best eventually destroying everything we once held dear... and everyone is dead now... the end

I wish for no wars!

 

[zombiekiller1907]

Granted. You get a hovercar, but you find out that its brakes aren't working. You crash into a mountain and die.

i wish to become omnipotent.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Granted, now life has no meaning, you grow infinitely bored, and cannot die.

I wish I had eaten my vegetables as a lad.

 

[madseverus]

Granted, it has bits in it... bits of human flesh...

I wish for the power to defy gravity!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you float out into outerspace where you suffocate.

I wish for the power to control time.