Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You're in Deliverance.

I wish for a raging rhino racing reactively across a rock road.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Granted, but I accidentally incinerate it while trying to kill a mosquito.

I wish I had a spare heat ray.

 

[Tanner The Monotone]

Granted, but it only makes things 1 degree hotter

I want that one lady from desert punk to come visit me

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Granted, but the additional degree of heat from my heat ray killed her.

I wish I had a cookie.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but it's all burnt.

I wish for a functioning lighter.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Granted, but maybe the lighter was a little too powerful . . .

I wish for my homework to be done.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but it's all incorrect and incoherent.

I wish for my sandwich to be awesome! express.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It's so awesome it blows you up, one limb at a time. Naturally , your head is last. And the explosions won't kill you till the head. Bassically, You'll painfully.

I wish I could remove and reattach the limbs of my body at will.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. Other people can, too.

I wish for cornflakes.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Granted, but they're soaking in piss.

I wish I had someone smart and polite to play Sleep is Death with. And no, they can't have killed anyone. Or raped anyone. Or committed any crimes. Or are planning to commit a crime. Or anything I consider immoral. TRY AND MESS THAT UP!

 

[SkyeNeko]

Granted, but they just dont like you very much and leave.

I wish I could meet my internet friends irl. and they are who they say they are.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Luckily, they all told you that they're losers. So they are, in fact, who they say they are. They're just losers is all.

I wish that I don't have to get up tomorrow.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but you are now dead.

I wish that all the garbage in the world vanished without a trace.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Granted. Along with the rubbish, you have also cleansed the world of bacteria. No-one gets ill, and the human race evolves beyond the need for an immune system. So, when a meteorite containing the flu arrives, everyone dies.

I wish Martians had immune systems...

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It doesn't help them conquer the Earth though, as there immune systems arn't used to earth diseases.

I wish for a pie.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Granted. It's pie-flavour. And empty.

I wish that there were more tripedal creatures on earth.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. You're suddenly one of them.

I wish I had a pet tripedal monkey.

 

[Letitha]

Granted, but scientists steal it for testing

I wish it was 5 months time, I have gotten A*s on all my exams and have nothing to do for the rest of the summer.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Granted. You get kidnapped by the government for time travel, and are dissected ALIVE!

I wish for another heat ray.

 

[Letitha]

Granted, but it doesn't work properly and you get fried.

I wish for pyrokinesis.