Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Taxman1]

Granted, the emperor is in a coma sitting on a throne

I wish for someone to hold.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted you hold my power fist and it crushes your hand
I wish i didnt always get shot first on the tabletop -_-

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted, but your shooting phase is eliminated.

I wish for a cake.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it is on fire.

I wish for a piece of paper.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. It's a piece of paper the size of a sperm cell. Have fun trying to use it.

I wish for chocolate cake

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but its only a chocolate frosting covered seat cushion disguised as a cake.

I wish for more nothing.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Granted, you get more of everything you don't want.

I wish I had a wish.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. Redundant wish. You leave with nothing.

I wish for a motorbike.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but its set to blow up whenever the ignition is turned.

I wish for snow.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, an avalanche comes out of nowhere and crushes you.

I wish that when I finally get around to playing FF13, I will have a great time playing it.

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Such a great time in fact, that you will do nothing else and your friends and family will shun you for being a deadbeat loser.

I wish I could do my calc homework.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but the space needed within your brain to manage it pushes out your ability to speak.

I wish I had a Capybara.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted but it explodes
I wish for 2 twin linked storm bolters

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. But they won't do much against my company of Leman Russes.

I wish for CS Goto to take over background writing for Games Workshop.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted but when as soon as he does anything he has a heart attack
i wish i knew why i had this spiky bandanna

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, its because you are a dog.

I wish I could go back in time by 8 hours.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you come back to the current time after five seconds.

I wish there was toast on a plate in front of me, covered with grape jelly and peanut butter.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted..but its covered in a poisonous mold that you don't notice until you bite it
I wish people knew where my avatars from

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but you change it to another obscure one shortly there-after.

I wish for a freshly carved canoe!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it is carved out of a massive rotting carrot.

I wish for Mars to explode.