Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now you improvise lyrics onstage

I wish I there weren't so many bad games on Steam greenlight

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, now all of the good games are way out of your price range...

I wish you had a fist full of quarters!

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted, one of those quarters falls out and causes you to trip and break your favourite hand.

I wish doors where made of chocolate.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they easily melt and fry your security system, allowing the neighborhood thieves to steal all your non-chocolate possessions without detection...

I wish I could tell the difference between an alien and an alien!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now they are one

I wish things happen exactly when I want them to

 

[Fractral]

Granted, but you can't control what the thing happening is.

I wish I never had to pee during cinema films.

 

[Brownie80]

Granted. You now have to always poop during cinema films.

I wish it didn't rain every single day in the summer.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now it rains every day in the other seasons

I wish it was a proper summer

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, but now all the other seasons are improper.

I wish the next poster would win $10,000,000 or their respective country's equivalent.

 

[Barbas]

Granted, but it's all been blown on jeans and inheritance tax.

I wish for the next person to give me a hug.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, bear hug to death

I wish I had a nice studded leather jacket

 

[Barbas]

Granted. The Terminator will not stop hunting you until he gets it back.

I wish the next poster would cease their midnight cruising for derriere.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Never did such in the first place.

I wish I could serve as either an Army Ranger or Air Force fighter pilot.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Your job will be to take inventory of all the sausages and beans in the canteen.

I wish I had a plain doughnut from Krispy Kreme.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's stale

I wish I didn't need to sleep

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you will now be working 24/7/366 for the rest of your life...

I wish I didn't hear them dial tones!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. You are now deaf. Shoulda seen that one comin'!

I wish I had a chocolate bar.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Granted. It's healthy and taste bad.

I wish Family Guy was better.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Fox cancels it three episodes from now for being too clever.

I wish The Simpsons was done.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it cause the end of the entire animation medium as we know it...

I wish you were a pineapple under the sea!