Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

Granted, by a trash compactor

I wish I didn't have random creative blocks

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, now you have constant creative blocks.

I wish the Seahawks had lost the Super Bowl to the Broncos and destroyed the Patriots in the last Super Bowl instead.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, this will end the reign of football in America... and must now be called Handegg[footnote]*vomits*[/footnote] forever if it wants to continue it's overall leagues...

I wish I could love being a turtle!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but you can't move fast because you're a turtle

I wish I had a hand in overthrowing the Nazis

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you also had a hand of "accidentally" protecting Hitler in the process...

I wish I could go Dutch!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but you can't afford to

I wish I could have all animals as pets

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you will soon be no longer be part of the food chain... because this is James Patterson's Zoo...

I wish for more money and no problems!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, because that money will pay off those problems!

I wish I knew what it's like to be in love

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, for you, it's worse than feeling alone, which is worse than being in love, which is worse than feeling alone, which is worse than being in love, which is worse than feeling alone, which is worse than being in love, which is worse than feeling alone, which is worse than being in love, which is worse than feeling alone, which is worse than being in love, which is worse than feeling alone, which is worse than being in love, which is worse than feeling alone, etc...

I wish King Kong ain't got shit on me!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but you are a beast!

I wish I could sing and play at that same time

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, but you can no longer do anything else.

I wish the Ducks win the next Stanley Cup and do so by winning game 7's in the home stadium of the following teams: Detroit Red Wings, Chicago Blackhawks, and Los Angeles Kings.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, Kevin Smith will have your head...

I wish I saw a chili-dog pizza!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's very fragile

I wish I had a mystery to solve

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the culprit is Scrappy-Doo and no one was looking for him to begin with...

I wish for a Deltron 3030 TV series!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, it's too big to fit in your house and blacks out an entire city block.

I think I have had enough sports wishes for the time being.

I wish I had superhuman speed, strength, stamina, and intelligence.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can only use your new powers on a project that's [way] worse than Fant4stic...

I wish the glass slipper fitted on my feet!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it shatters when you put it on

I wish a had a white suit with gold liner

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will always be too dirty to see the while or the [fake] gold liner...

I wish for a 60's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy TV series!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, but it is universally hated by the entire human race.

I wish for more wishes!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, only I can use them!

I wish to use my new wishes for the greater good!