Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[cryogeist]

Granted! the sun dies!

I wish for apple cherry juice

 

[Eumersian]

Granted. Apple + cherry is a horrible combination however, and it's total jank.

I wish for an ironing board.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted
You get smashed in the head tom and jerry style

I wish for cinnamon

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted, you die as a direct result of it.

I wish for a glass.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted
IN YOUR BRAIN!

I wish for stuff

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted. It's all broken, and you have to clean it up.

I wish I could play the piano really well.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted!
but every piano you get near explodes

I wish for more stuff

 

[Dr.Susse]

Garnted Have a heap'o stuffing.

I wish for a magic fountain.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted! It launches explosive magic at you

I wish for Even MORE stuff [sub][/sub]

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you get so much more stuff, you can't contain yourself and your brain explodeds five times.

I wish for a personal security squad.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted...somehow you die

I wish i was doing better in school

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, you become deaf, dumb and blind instead.

I wish for reliable weather forecasts.

 

[JasonKaotic]

Granted. You're captured by Xenomorphs, who then eat your face.

I wish for apples. Lots and lots of apples.

 

[GunstarHero]

Granted. Adam's apples.

I wish I were a Dutchman.

 

[JasonKaotic]

Granted. You're kidnapped by racists who bludgeon you to death with forks.

I wish I had a can of Monster.
(Yeah, the drink. Not a can with a monster inside.)

 

[GunstarHero]

Granted. You're Caffeine hypersensitive.

I wish for a can of monsters.