Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Not sure if two wishes or one....I'll grant it like it is one.

Granted. A girl called "I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64 Impala" appears. She has 20/20 vision, however she looks like the elephant man.

I wish I got an A in every exam I do.

 

[idodo35]

you can! to bad your familly and loved ones cant! enjoy the rest of your life on the moon alone!

i wish my wish wasnt ruined!

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, but as you didn't make any other wish it becomes redundant

I wish I could breathe under water.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but now air makes you fall asleep.

I wish I could run long distance.

 

[Matilda X]

Granted, but you can't seem to stop. Eventually you wear your legs down to stumps, then you end up dragging yourself along, then, finally, you end up as a wet lump somewhere with a long smear behind you stretching off in the distance.

I wish ponies farted rainbows.

 

[The Night Angel]

Fine, but this proves lethal for the ponies and they all die out before you see it

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I wish the above poster had a wish.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but his wish was so evil that your eyes fail to recognise it.

I wish for a restful day.

 

[Matilda X]

Granted. You're dead.

I wish my 5 hour chili was finished cooking.

 

[him over there]

granted, you know of the words: "the unified equation that explains all there is and all there will ever be in our Universe."

I wish it would snow, just a couple inches maybe.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. Then it quickly turns to slippy black ice.

I wish I were a super genius hacker.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You fall into a moral event horizon, never to be seen again!

I wish my vote was worth 51% of the entire electorate.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. You still manage to elect the party that destroys the country.

I wish for fish.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. You get a Lion fish, with the stingers still attached.

I wish everything fun was banned.

 

[The Night Angel]

Granted, but you are a fun person so..... off with his head???

I wish I could walk through walls.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. The wall absorbs an article of your clothing each time you walk through one.

I wish I had a sonic screwdriver.

 

[Jetut]

Granted. But you are the 5th Doctor

I wish to be healed of my illness.

 

[Matilda X]

Granted, then you get a new illness that is much, much worse.

I wish I had an unlimited number of wishes.

 

[MammothBlade]

Granted. Each one irreversibly takes off half your remaining lifespan.

I wish I had super telepathy.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Granted. It is a rare Enormous Albanian Hell Spider. It can shape itself into a ball(and thus could theoretically roll down stairs), is known to occasionally travel in pairs, is definitely big enough to run over a dog, but small enough to fit on your back. Furthermore, they taste delicious if you can actually kill one. But it will probably kill you first, as the Enormous Albanian Hell Spider is well-known for it's hatred of humanity, mostly because of our kindness. Enormous Albanian Hell Spiders HATE kindness.

I wish all my homework was done.

EDIT: Incidentally, what the hell is going on in your avatar? It's been bugging me for a while now.