Science and maths jokes anyone?
- Thread starter BlackJackFrak
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The floor was more interesting than the lesson, but the work was more interesting than her jokes. enough said really.orangebandguy said:
SCIENCE AND MATHS ARE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD MAKE JOKES ABOUT THEM
THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD MAKE JOKES ABOUT THEM
Reading is knowledgeUnrealCanine said:
Knowledge is power
Power corrupts
Corruption is a crime
crime never pays.
So if you keep reading you'll go broke.
Knowledge is in books. It is well known that knowledge is power, and power is energy, and energy is matter, and matter is mass. This means that libraries distort the space time continuum. So be careful - a wrong turn in your local library could leave you stranded in the Bodleian in Oxford.
This whole video is math joke after math joke
So heres a song that takes something that's not so fun, math, and makes it offensive.
What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy,
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die
And what's domain, domain, range (xxy) a kid with too much in his pants
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision
Live like your data and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get.
Is new math...
What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal
And Santa clause multiplied by "I" well I guess that makes him real,
And the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box,
How do u trace a scatter plot? give the pencil to Michael j fox.
Take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...
Is new math.
And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me you'd have a tree...
Full of Asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathematical minds make industrial smog.
And what's the opposite of ln(x)[in other words a natural logarithm], duraflame the unnatural log.
Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)
Live like ur data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...
Yeah it's new, yeah it's new, yeah it's new, yeah it's new,
It's new math.
Word problems
If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
In order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi (pie)
And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor,
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees
And if Kim is half as old as bobby who is two years older then twelve year old tori,
For how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape
Because math can be sexy
Cause havin sex is like quadratic expansion if it can't be split then it's time to stop,
And havin sex is like doing fractions, it's improper for the larger one to be on top,
And havin sex is like math homework, I do it best when I'm alone in my bed.
And squarin numbers are just like women, if they're under thirteen just do them in your head...
It's new math
What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy,
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die
And what's domain, domain, range (xxy) a kid with too much in his pants
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision
Live like your data and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get.
Is new math...
What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal
And Santa clause multiplied by "I" well I guess that makes him real,
And the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box,
How do u trace a scatter plot? give the pencil to Michael j fox.
Take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...
Is new math.
And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me you'd have a tree...
Full of Asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathematical minds make industrial smog.
And what's the opposite of ln(x)[in other words a natural logarithm], duraflame the unnatural log.
Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)
Live like ur data, and when you're all "set"
Put it all together and whatever you get...
Yeah it's new, yeah it's new, yeah it's new, yeah it's new,
It's new math.
Word problems
If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
In order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi (pie)
And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor,
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees
And if Kim is half as old as bobby who is two years older then twelve year old tori,
For how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape
Because math can be sexy
Cause havin sex is like quadratic expansion if it can't be split then it's time to stop,
And havin sex is like doing fractions, it's improper for the larger one to be on top,
And havin sex is like math homework, I do it best when I'm alone in my bed.
And squarin numbers are just like women, if they're under thirteen just do them in your head...
It's new math
"I wish I was a derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves."
"I wish I was a secant line, so I could touch you in two places."
Heisenberg was driving his car drunk down the road. A police officer pulled him over and asked, "Do you know how fast you were traveling?" To which Heisenberg replied, "No, officer, but I sure know where I've been!"
"I wish I was a secant line, so I could touch you in two places."
Heisenberg was driving his car drunk down the road. A police officer pulled him over and asked, "Do you know how fast you were traveling?" To which Heisenberg replied, "No, officer, but I sure know where I've been!"