Science and maths jokes anyone?
- Thread starter BlackJackFrak
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Heisenberg was speeding along a road, and was pulled over by the police. The officer asks "Do you know how fast you were going, sir?". Heisenberg replies, "No, but I know where I am!"
Why are physicists crap in a threesome? Because they can never figure out the three-body problem.
Why are physicists crap in a threesome? Because they can never figure out the three-body problem.
While I don't know any science jokes, have an English joke:
A girl walks into a bar.
"I'll have a double entendre, please." She says to the barman.
"Ok," says the barman, "I'll give you one."
A girl walks into a bar.
"I'll have a double entendre, please." She says to the barman.
"Ok," says the barman, "I'll give you one."
Rene Descartes walks into a resturant and sits down for dinner. The waiter comes over and asks if he'd like an appetizer
"No thank you" says Descartes, "I'd just like to order dinner"
"Would you like to hear our daily specials?" asks the waiter
"No" says Descartes, getting impatient
"Would you like a drink before dinner?" the waiter asks
Descartes is insulted, since he's a tee-totaler
"I think not!" he says indignantly, and POOF! he disappeared.
"No thank you" says Descartes, "I'd just like to order dinner"
"Would you like to hear our daily specials?" asks the waiter
"No" says Descartes, getting impatient
"Would you like a drink before dinner?" the waiter asks
Descartes is insulted, since he's a tee-totaler
"I think not!" he says indignantly, and POOF! he disappeared.
In a similar vein, the only math joke-like thing I know...JokerboyJordan said:
Your Mum is so stupid that she tried to minimize a 12 variable function to a minimal sum of products expression using a Karnaugh Map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm.
Three blokes go into a pub. Well, I say three; could have been four or five. Could have been nine or ten, doesn't matter. Could have been fifteen, twenty - fifty. Round it up. Hundred. Let's go mad, eh - two-fifty. Tell you what, double it up - five hundred. Thousand! Oh, I've gone mad! Two thousand! Five thousand! (adopting auctioneer persona) anyone five thousand, six thou, six thousand, ten thousand! Small town in Hertfordshire goes into a pub! Fifteen thousand blokes! Alright, let's go - population of Rotterdam. The Hague. Whole of Northern Holland. Mainland U.K. Let's go all the way to the top - Europe, alright? Whole of Europe goes - I say Europe. Could be Eurasia. Not the band, obviously, that's just two of them. Alright, continents - North America! Plus South America! Plus Antartica - that's just eight blokes in a weather station. Not a good example. Alright, make it a lot simpler, all the blokes on the planet go into the pub, right? And the first bloke goes up to the bar and he says "I'll get these in." What an idiot.
one of bill bailey's because i couldn't find the ones he did about physics.
one of bill bailey's because i couldn't find the ones he did about physics.
