Serial Killer Round 12: Now with Free Bacon! (The Killer is Dead! New Round will begin shortly!)
- Thread starter NeoAC
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@Nukey: Is it still school? If so take comfort that its almost over. A the plus side I just got to go spend corporate dollars
@Nukey: Maybe ye could rejoin one day? T'would be a laugh!, I cant do a good impression, even over the interwebz 
But the its true, maybe your character could wander off and we could re-discover him when you have some more time on your hands?
But the its true, maybe your character could wander off and we could re-discover him when you have some more time on your hands?
@BigZ225: Hmm...I suppose that could work, tho that would require a lot o' pre-plannin', which would ultimately would be likely t' nay work ou' in th' end.
I would, however, be willin' t' make a new character in th' future if he would allow 't.
@hopeneverdies: Ah...Well, I don't really bother with most of the content on this site, so that could explain it.
@Lost In The Void: Schools almost over, though my issues are coming from another source.
I would, however, be willin' t' make a new character in th' future if he would allow 't.
@hopeneverdies: Ah...Well, I don't really bother with most of the content on this site, so that could explain it.
@Lost In The Void: Schools almost over, though my issues are coming from another source.
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE
Still alive.
So yea. I'm still alive. Yay!
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE
Still alive.
So yea. I'm still alive. Yay!
*sigh* You people really don't trust me.
Raven had heard rumours of a killer amongst him and his friends, but it was only now that they were confirmed did he believe them. One of his companions had been murdered. Atticus, who called himself the War Penguin, had been brutally killed as a result of a slit throat, and Time Travelling Toaster was murdered in a similar manner, a knife wound. Probably the same weapon. Indeed, even Lost in the Void had been killed with a knife of some sort. Raven knew this spree was just beginning, but he had a suspicion someone would visit him to ensure their own judgement was correct. The secret nominations were in, and votes tallied.
A knock on Raven's fortress door brought his attention to the Securitas surveillance system. A couple of people, Fairee and Schizzy, both wearing heavy overcoats, stood nervously outside. Fairee carried a briefcase in one hand. Raven entered a series of complex passcodes into the Securitas and unlocked the fortress, opening the door for them. "You've heard, haven't you?" he asked. "About War Penguin, Toaster and Lost?"
"Yeah... we know," Schizzy answered. "That's why we're here." Both of them produced pistols from under their jackets and pointed them at Raven. In shock, he realized their true purpose. They were here to execute him.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa... don't be too hasty, guys," he quickly said, backing up a step and raising his hands. "I didn't kill any of them. Think about it for a sec. Why would I do it? They're my friends. I had no reason to kill them... why do you think it's me?"
"We've talked to the others, the veterans. They know you too well, Raven," Fairee answered. "Ownage, Neo, hope, they know you'll do anything to save yourself. But they also know you like to play games with your victims. So we're going to play a game with you." She set her briefcase down on a table and gestured to it. "Sit down, now. No-one is coming to save you."
"No-one ever does..." Raven muttered, sitting down. Fairee opened the briefcase to reveal two small objects; a butterfly knife, and a pill bottle. "Here's your new game, Raven. You get to choose how you want to die. You can take a suicide capsule to stop your heart, or you can take the knife and slash your own throat the same way you killed your victims."
Raven froze, thinking hard. An old quote came back to him: There is always a way for those clever enough to find it. With that in mind, he surveyed his options. He could end his own life... or deal with his assailants and escape to set up a new base from where he could defend himself. He picked up the knife and the pills, spun the knife open and took the cap off... then spun around and threw them both simultaneously, holding on to the bottle to send the pills flying.
The knife went into Schizzy's hand, causing him to cry out in pain and drop his weapon. The flung suicide pills hit Fairee in the face, and she brought her hands up to deflect them. They distracted her long enough for Raven to get up, snatch Schizzy's pistol and shoot the gun out of her hand. He hurried for the second pistol, catching it in mid-air. Raven spun round and aimed at his would-be executioners.
"Nice try, but you'll never outsmart me," he taunted. "Raven Sanderson always wins." With that he shifted his aiming, and fired both guns simultaneously on burst-fire, putting three bullets in Fairee's leg and another three in Schizzy's foot. He stepped over their prone bodies and quickly ran out the door...
...where he was promptly greeted by a group of people in black combat armour, each holding a semi-automatic rifle aimed at the front door. One of them spoke, their voice unrecognisable as a result of a filter. "Did you honestly think it would be that easy, Raven? Although they didn't know it, we sent them in as a test of your abilities. Only a skilled assassin could have passed such a test. Sorry, Raven, but goodbye."
"No! Wait! I didn't kill - " The rest of Raven's words were lost as the black-armoured squad opened fire, jerking Raven's body back to the door in a danse macabre before they stopped firing and let his dead corpse fall to the ground. One of the squad members checked his body before looking to the others and saying,
"Subject Raven Sanderson. Status: Executed."
A knock on Raven's fortress door brought his attention to the Securitas surveillance system. A couple of people, Fairee and Schizzy, both wearing heavy overcoats, stood nervously outside. Fairee carried a briefcase in one hand. Raven entered a series of complex passcodes into the Securitas and unlocked the fortress, opening the door for them. "You've heard, haven't you?" he asked. "About War Penguin, Toaster and Lost?"
"Yeah... we know," Schizzy answered. "That's why we're here." Both of them produced pistols from under their jackets and pointed them at Raven. In shock, he realized their true purpose. They were here to execute him.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa... don't be too hasty, guys," he quickly said, backing up a step and raising his hands. "I didn't kill any of them. Think about it for a sec. Why would I do it? They're my friends. I had no reason to kill them... why do you think it's me?"
"We've talked to the others, the veterans. They know you too well, Raven," Fairee answered. "Ownage, Neo, hope, they know you'll do anything to save yourself. But they also know you like to play games with your victims. So we're going to play a game with you." She set her briefcase down on a table and gestured to it. "Sit down, now. No-one is coming to save you."
"No-one ever does..." Raven muttered, sitting down. Fairee opened the briefcase to reveal two small objects; a butterfly knife, and a pill bottle. "Here's your new game, Raven. You get to choose how you want to die. You can take a suicide capsule to stop your heart, or you can take the knife and slash your own throat the same way you killed your victims."
Raven froze, thinking hard. An old quote came back to him: There is always a way for those clever enough to find it. With that in mind, he surveyed his options. He could end his own life... or deal with his assailants and escape to set up a new base from where he could defend himself. He picked up the knife and the pills, spun the knife open and took the cap off... then spun around and threw them both simultaneously, holding on to the bottle to send the pills flying.
The knife went into Schizzy's hand, causing him to cry out in pain and drop his weapon. The flung suicide pills hit Fairee in the face, and she brought her hands up to deflect them. They distracted her long enough for Raven to get up, snatch Schizzy's pistol and shoot the gun out of her hand. He hurried for the second pistol, catching it in mid-air. Raven spun round and aimed at his would-be executioners.
"Nice try, but you'll never outsmart me," he taunted. "Raven Sanderson always wins." With that he shifted his aiming, and fired both guns simultaneously on burst-fire, putting three bullets in Fairee's leg and another three in Schizzy's foot. He stepped over their prone bodies and quickly ran out the door...
...where he was promptly greeted by a group of people in black combat armour, each holding a semi-automatic rifle aimed at the front door. One of them spoke, their voice unrecognisable as a result of a filter. "Did you honestly think it would be that easy, Raven? Although they didn't know it, we sent them in as a test of your abilities. Only a skilled assassin could have passed such a test. Sorry, Raven, but goodbye."
"No! Wait! I didn't kill - " The rest of Raven's words were lost as the black-armoured squad opened fire, jerking Raven's body back to the door in a danse macabre before they stopped firing and let his dead corpse fall to the ground. One of the squad members checked his body before looking to the others and saying,
"Subject Raven Sanderson. Status: Executed."
I didn't vote for him!
In completely unrelated news, I just beat my Nemesis on Kingdom of Loathing. Then again, I abused the hell out of Yuletide today.
In completely unrelated news, I just beat my Nemesis on Kingdom of Loathing. Then again, I abused the hell out of Yuletide today.
@hope: Which nemesis? I finished the Orc Chasm Quest today, so I've got a ways to go before I fight Stella.