Serial Killer Round 37: The Special Holiday Edition (Get those votes in.)
- Thread starter axle 19
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So I was about to start my English breakfast right? It's half-past 7 in the morning and I just cooked this beauty. Smells wonderful. Everything absolutely cooked to perfection. I sit down on my chair, looking outside the window to be greeted by the sun and country-side. I pick up my knife and fork, and just before the fork hits the bacon I hear a knock on the door. I get a little pissed because well, it's breakfast. I also get curious because the only people that come here are delivery men, pizza boys and the government. Which one was it? I figured it was either a delivery or the government since I hadn't ordered a pizza. But I hadn't exactly ordered anything either, neither did I do anything questionably legal or definitely illegal. So I put my eating utensils down and I walk over to the front door. I open it to be greeted by a police-car and two cops.
"Morning officers, what can I do for 'ya?" I ask politely. I'm not going to let my anger show y'know? I'm patient.
"Good morning to you too. I'm sorry to say that you are going to be executed under suspicion of the recent serial killings." He tells me. I give him a confused look. Me? A serial killer? I don't even own a car. I'm living in the frikkin' rurals! How could I murder anyone?
"I think you have the wrong person officers, I haven't killed anyone." I tell him.
"Sorry sir, but we are going to have to ask you to come with us before we have to use force." He replies. At that point, my breakfast is getting cold. It's losing its taste by the second. I'm confused and hungry. I also value my life. But judging from their physical size and strange assortment of devices they had, I knew that I would be going one way or another.
"Can I finish my breakfast first?" I ask. It's a simple enough request. I expect a yes. I mean, I'm a dead man! Can't they show me a little courtesy and respect?
"Sorry sir we can't allow you to do that. Please get in now." He tells me. That's freakin' wonderful. My last meal on Earth is plain bread with jam. I put my hands out and he 'cuffs me. I get in the car and a boring morning of filling out papers and doing interviews later, boom! It's the present. I'm sitting on an electric chair, my face on t.v. I'll just be another victim of being wrongfully executed. I'll be a statistic. A reason to back up someone's argument against executions.
My life regret? I didn't even touch my breakfast.
"Any final words sir?" They ask me.
"Well there is one thi-."
"Morning officers, what can I do for 'ya?" I ask politely. I'm not going to let my anger show y'know? I'm patient.
"Good morning to you too. I'm sorry to say that you are going to be executed under suspicion of the recent serial killings." He tells me. I give him a confused look. Me? A serial killer? I don't even own a car. I'm living in the frikkin' rurals! How could I murder anyone?
"I think you have the wrong person officers, I haven't killed anyone." I tell him.
"Sorry sir, but we are going to have to ask you to come with us before we have to use force." He replies. At that point, my breakfast is getting cold. It's losing its taste by the second. I'm confused and hungry. I also value my life. But judging from their physical size and strange assortment of devices they had, I knew that I would be going one way or another.
"Can I finish my breakfast first?" I ask. It's a simple enough request. I expect a yes. I mean, I'm a dead man! Can't they show me a little courtesy and respect?
"Sorry sir we can't allow you to do that. Please get in now." He tells me. That's freakin' wonderful. My last meal on Earth is plain bread with jam. I put my hands out and he 'cuffs me. I get in the car and a boring morning of filling out papers and doing interviews later, boom! It's the present. I'm sitting on an electric chair, my face on t.v. I'll just be another victim of being wrongfully executed. I'll be a statistic. A reason to back up someone's argument against executions.
My life regret? I didn't even touch my breakfast.
"Any final words sir?" They ask me.
"Well there is one thi-."
.
*watches the gunfight and flying sniper-whale from my porch. i have a porch now. porches are cool. porch and beans. meat-porches. porch porch porch.*
wow.
i should lay off the cheese. that looked like a blue whale... *throws cheese sandwich in the bin and snorts some cocaine laced with LSD and marijuana* cheese must be bad for brains.
on another note, Nouw, i learned much from your death. the key thing i learned is that there is a free full-english in your house. *gets out thief kit, microwave and portable TV to watch Law&Order because irony (i actually am watching it right now...)*
wow.
i should lay off the cheese. that looked like a blue whale... *throws cheese sandwich in the bin and snorts some cocaine laced with LSD and marijuana* cheese must be bad for brains.
on another note, Nouw, i learned much from your death. the key thing i learned is that there is a free full-english in your house. *gets out thief kit, microwave and portable TV to watch Law&Order because irony (i actually am watching it right now...)*
@staika its a bad thing that i suffer from that exact problem and i'm hours ahead of you (i dont know how many, there are too many time-zones in your country).
@staika well that was uncalled for. its been ten minutes, i havent even left my county. i have another plan! *flies to staika's house*