Serial Killer Round 37: The Special Holiday Edition (Get those votes in.)
- Thread starter axle 19
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I sprinted into the treeline, the sound of a chainsaw behind me. Peeking over my shoulder, I saw a girl wearing a sort of Victorian-style dress sprinting after me, her chainsaw held high.
"C'mere, you, I just want to punish you for killing all those people!" Skye shouted.
"Why did it have to be you, you crazy piece of crap! Couldn't they send someone less insane?" I shouted back, pulling down a rotting tree so that it fell between her and me. I kept running. Skye just cut through the tree far faster than any sane person would be able to.
"THIS IS ABOUT MY VOTING HABITS AND YOU KNOW IT!" I screamed, my legs already burning. That's what I get for not getting out once in a while, I suppose. I turned to the right and kept running.
Suddenly, Skye was nowhere to be found. I took cover behind a large tree and caught by breath.
"Christ almighty," I swore, just before Skye's chainsaw burst through the tree and into my stomach. Skye giggled, and circled around to the front.
"Damn it, I didn't kill them and I'm sorry I didn't vote!" I shouted. "Just patch me up and we can put all of this behind-"
She snapped my neck with a twist of her hands, then walked away calmly.
Up in the Jesus' Infinite Buffet, Jesus winced as He saw me arrive.
"Sorry you had to go that way, my child," Jesus said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"I guess I never saw that one coming."
Jesus kicked me in the balls and walked away. "You still haven't posted a death for when you got killed as the killer, by the way. That's worth, like, a year in Purgatory."
"C'mere, you, I just want to punish you for killing all those people!" Skye shouted.
"Why did it have to be you, you crazy piece of crap! Couldn't they send someone less insane?" I shouted back, pulling down a rotting tree so that it fell between her and me. I kept running. Skye just cut through the tree far faster than any sane person would be able to.
"THIS IS ABOUT MY VOTING HABITS AND YOU KNOW IT!" I screamed, my legs already burning. That's what I get for not getting out once in a while, I suppose. I turned to the right and kept running.
Suddenly, Skye was nowhere to be found. I took cover behind a large tree and caught by breath.
"Christ almighty," I swore, just before Skye's chainsaw burst through the tree and into my stomach. Skye giggled, and circled around to the front.
"Damn it, I didn't kill them and I'm sorry I didn't vote!" I shouted. "Just patch me up and we can put all of this behind-"
She snapped my neck with a twist of her hands, then walked away calmly.
Up in the Jesus' Infinite Buffet, Jesus winced as He saw me arrive.
"Sorry you had to go that way, my child," Jesus said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"I guess I never saw that one coming."
Jesus kicked me in the balls and walked away. "You still haven't posted a death for when you got killed as the killer, by the way. That's worth, like, a year in Purgatory."
I'd post a longer death, but Skyriiiiiim~
Steak, Steak, Steak... Enough with the gorram arrow "jokes".
*gags Steak tightly to prevent screaming*
Monsieur Dubois, my portable guillotine, please.
*guillotine is wheeled out, locks Steak's hands into it*
We'll start with one hand...
*cuts Steak's fingers off one by one with a butcher's cleaver*
Then move on to the other one.
*does the same for the other hand*
Dubois, my spears.
*stabs Steak five times through the torso with javelins, leaving them embedded through his body*
What do you think? Toes next? Meh, I'll go with the whole foot instead.
*hacks Steak's feet off, collects blood and sprays blood into his face*
Eh. That'll do for the moment. Let's just kill him.
*Dubois shoves Steak's head into the stocks and locks him in*
No. Turn him face up. I want him to watch the blade fall.
*hits lever on guillotine*
That'll do for now. My next one is going to be a bit worse, I think.
*gags Steak tightly to prevent screaming*
Monsieur Dubois, my portable guillotine, please.
*guillotine is wheeled out, locks Steak's hands into it*
We'll start with one hand...
*cuts Steak's fingers off one by one with a butcher's cleaver*
Then move on to the other one.
*does the same for the other hand*
Dubois, my spears.
*stabs Steak five times through the torso with javelins, leaving them embedded through his body*
What do you think? Toes next? Meh, I'll go with the whole foot instead.
*hacks Steak's feet off, collects blood and sprays blood into his face*
Eh. That'll do for the moment. Let's just kill him.
*Dubois shoves Steak's head into the stocks and locks him in*
No. Turn him face up. I want him to watch the blade fall.
*hits lever on guillotine*
That'll do for now. My next one is going to be a bit worse, I think.
@CA: Well, I stole your face. And damn it, I still like the arrow joke, even if it is incredibly stupid and incredibly overused.
And someday, perhaps, I'll kill you back. Really, dying isn't an issue for me anymore. I've got nothing to lose. *Grim stare*
And someday, perhaps, I'll kill you back. Really, dying isn't an issue for me anymore. I've got nothing to lose. *Grim stare*
@CA: Awwwh, you can't punish him for that last one! That is actually what my title is supposed to be. D:
@CA: Yes, punish HER!
@Skye: ...I'm sorry, that sounded incredibly wrong in my head. Forgive me. *Sulk*
@Skye: ...I'm sorry, that sounded incredibly wrong in my head. Forgive me. *Sulk*