Serial Killer Round 37: The Special Holiday Edition (Get those votes in.)

[CounterAttack]

My cat doesn't really do much in terms of sitting on laptops and whatnot. Instead she gets under my feet, purrs and rolls around on the carpet, putting herself between me and my computer desk.

Also, death by Ban Hammer... Not sure if want.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@staika yeah, my cat stopped coming into my room in the daytime.
he does come in in the morning to explain that he's hungry. by eating my head.

 

[SteakHeart]

@staika: Death by sunglasses. I know that feeling.

 

[Schizzy]

My cat kept biting me the other day for making my daughter cry. I was in the middle of lecturing/disciplining her.

Had to douse her (the cat) in water so I could complete my 'discipline procedures' (chopstick to the meaty part of her palm). :|

 

[Link_to_Future]

@Schizzy: That's actually kinda sweet that your cat was trying to protect your daughter, even if it was misguided.

The cats I have been around have never been that friendly with me. They are actually quite hostile as I have documented before. >.<

 

[RaNDM G]

@Schizzy If you tell that story on 4chan, you'll be hated for the rest of eternity. Not for the girl, just for the cat.

I didn't have a real point to make. Just thought I would bring that up.

(chopstick to the meaty part of her palm). :|

Please tell me that's not what I think it means.

 

[Lost In The Void]

@Cat Discussion: My cat is just a fat bastard; weights 16 pounds and looks at you to stir his food before he eats it. Every. Time.

 

[Schizzy]

@Link: Yeah. She's not affectionate, but she's super protective over my daughter. When my wife was preggers with her, the cat would bite me whenever she perceived that I caused my wife pain.

All my wife needed to do is shout 'Ouch!' and she'd come running to bite me.

I swear, my cat is really a dog.

@RaNDM: Why?

 

[SteakHeart]

@Cat Discussion: My cat licks you, hugs you when you pick him up, and has a stubby little tail. Oh, and he's an old son-of-a-gun, so he pretty much just curls up on your back if you're lying down and naps.

 

[RaNDM G]

@Schizzy Remember Dusty the cat?

 

[Schizzy]

@RaNDM: I hardly think throwing water at my cat counts as abuse.

 

[staika]

@Schizzy: I would certainly hope not since I do it at times to my cat for various reasons >.>

 

[RaNDM G]

@Schizzy But still, it's easy for people to get the wrong impression. There's a lot of animal lovers on the internet. The moment someone mentions you hurt an animal because it hurt you first, everyone will gang up on you and treat you like you committed a federal offense.

That's definitely not the same case on this site, which is good. I just thought it was something worth mentioning.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

@Schizzy you think your cat is like a dog? mine rolls around like a dog, and i've literally trained him to fetch.
and i use a little water spray bottle like this:

when my cat is a dick. its just mist.

 

[j1-2themax]

Spoiler: It was a dark and stormy night...

...though not in the usual sense. JP Busybody was cursing his godforsaken heater for not working during the first snowstorm of the year. The repairman was at least an hour and a half late, and JP's rage was smoldering with each passing second. When the doorbell finally rang, JP had a very hard time swallowing his anger when he answered the door.

"'bout time you got here..." JP began when he was suddenly engulfed in flames. The last things he saw before the flames totally consumed him were the six masked citizens of Murderville wielding some kind of makeshift flamethrowers. It didn't take long for JP to die, though it felt like an eternity. Once they could confirm JP was dead, the masked men quickly fled, the snowfall and darkness of night working together to cover their escape.

"What a way to go." one of the masked men remarked.

"At least we won't have to worry about him killing anyone else," another remarked. A third could barely contain their laughter. Soon enough, they would make sure another of their "comrades" had fallen.

Edit: As there seems to be some unintended ambiguity, let's set the record straight: I'm not the killer.

 

[CounterAttack]

@j1: So, to clarify: was it you?

 

[Link_to_Future]

@CA: A third could barely contain their laughter. Soon enough, they would make sure another of their "comrades" had fallen.

Negative. The killer still walks.

 

[CounterAttack]

@Link: Um... this might just be me, but I don't get it.

 

[Link_to_Future]

@CA: The implication is that the third member was the killer.

"At least we won't have to worry about him killing anyone else," another remarked. This line is being played for dramatic irony. The person who said it fully believes that they are now safe. The third person is laughing because they know that this is not the case. They know that another person is going to die because THEY are the one engaging in the killings.

Seems straightforward enough to me.

 

[CounterAttack]

@Link: Perhaps it is straightforward enough for you, but I struggle to understand that kind of thing if it isn't explicitly said or explained. *shrug*