Sexual Preference = Racism?

[Abedeus]

Well, I dated a really cute black girl so I have no idea. I really have no preference. My friends joke that I have dated every race, so next will be albino. Is albino white?

Technically albino is a lack of pigment, so it's no color at all.

But now I'm genuinely curious about if there are any albino "black" people out there.

Michael Jackson had that disease that made his pigments lose color. So it's possible.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Well, I dated a really cute black girl so I have no idea. I really have no preference. My friends joke that I have dated every race, so next will be albino. Is albino white?

Technically albino is a lack of pigment, so it's no color at all.

But now I'm genuinely curious about if there are any albino "black" people out there.

This guy : http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/06/20/article-0-01AE926200000578-273_468x552.jpg
He was in Big Brother a few years ago. There are quite a good few as far as I know, they're persecuted in some countries because killing one is supposed to bring good luck or something. I'm kinda sketchy on the details.

 

[DSK-]

I aint racist at all but I just don't find black women attractive at all. I like pale skin and dark hair /end

It's not racist it's just like some people really like say, blonde and some like brunette sometimes to the point anything other than that doesn't get a look in. Like to me blonde women are more or less invisible in a sexual attraction way, nothing against them, just doesn't float my boat. Same thing.

I don't find black women attractive either. I was discussing this sort of thing with my friends and they said something along the lines of "What? you don't find Beyonce fit?" "Well...no" "Are you gay?!" which was the reply I got.

It doesn't bother me, nor does it interfere with how I interact with anyone - regardless of race. I always try to treat others with respect and courtesy.

 

[Harmondale2]

Its just not racist, its preference

I mean I've never thought much of looks or anything, personality is what I'm attracted to

 

[DazZ.]

It's entirely natural to only be attracted to people that you subconsciously view as being part of your community. We naturally view people of different races as outsiders unless we were brought up in regular contact with them, and because of this, we subconsciously think of them differently to people of our own race.

That is obliterated by the fact that someone foreign comes to your town girls will be all over them. Go travelling and see how much attention you get just from an accent.

Or just fake one and go to the next town over for a night.

 

[ThatTallGuy]

Well, my girlfriend is half Mexican, half French. I can sort of understand where she's coming from, in that it may be a kind of racism, but not the "Kill all [insert race here]!" type. And my usual preference is to white girls with blue or green eyes and blond or red hair. So I'm struggling to find how one's sexual preference is a bad thing. And yes, I would like to talk to her over webcam or in person, but if that does end up happening, it won't be for a good amount of time, as we're frustrated with each other at the moment. I'll be the first to admit I'm not in my usual frame of mind, owing to the late hour and a slight fever, but I'm still in possession of all my rational faculties.

 

[zombiesinc]

It's entirely natural to only be attracted to people that you subconsciously view as being part of your community. We naturally view people of different races as outsiders unless we were brought up in regular contact with them, and because of this, we subconsciously think of them differently to people of our own race.

How does race = community? I'm white, I like all races (not like that, you perv), but I hate my community.

When our species was evolving, we stuck together in little groups which would have all looked similar and would have been naturally wary of any outsiders. That's what I meant by community.

And how very spot on you are. I've touched on the subject in one of my psychology text books actually.

Regardless of the reasons behind it though, you really can't help what you do or do not find attractive. My being attracted to women doesn't mean I'm sexist, does it? No.

I don't think you're blowing it out of proportion, but your girlfriend may be (at the very least she's simply not seeing it from your point of view, whether or not that's intentional), and it's never too early! If you're really intent on reaching a resolution with this matter, possibly bringing up some of these points in this thread could help her better understand. Unfortunately, if your girlfriend can't see it from your perspective, and chooses to put distance between the two of you, there's really nothing you can do (By which I mean, mentally, not physically as that's already going to happen).

[small]If all else fails, just... nod and smile[/small]

 

[Cabisco]

Sexual attraction is not a choice. It's like accusing a man of being a male chauvinist because he's gay.

Yeah I'd agree.

Saying that your racist is like suggesting your homophobic if you don't find men sexually attractive. you don't just decide who you do and don't like, it's all the inner workings of your mind.

That being said, I know lots of white guys who don't find many black women attractive. None of them are racist, it's just a thing I guess. Got to admit I love everyone and everything, especially brie.

 

[Leviathan_]

I was having a discussion with my on-and-off girlfriend. We're currently off because she's going to be in another state for at least a year, and we don't want to deal with the long-distance relationship because we've both had bad experiences with them.

But anyway, I mentioned that I'm not initially sexually attracted to black women, but after getting to know someone better, I can be attracted to anyone. She accuses me of blatantly being racist and equates it to if I were an employer, I wouldn't give a black person the same chance as someone of any other race. I tried to explain my point, but because this was a conversation over the internet, neither of us could convey the true meaning of our words.

There's much from the conversation that I've left out here. I could go into further details upon request. I just don't see how my initial sexual attraction is the same as me being a racist, and this didn't seem to me to be a very big issue, but one of my major flaws is that I can't let a conversation just end, because I feel it has to have some sort of resolution.

I know this is hardly the kind of conversation to have at four in the morning, and I probably shouldn't have said anything. I just fear I may have lost my greatest friend forever.

I know we're probably both blowing the whole thing way out of proportion, but what are your views on the subject?

Looks like you value personality over looks then.

Saying that this is racist is just silly.

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

Every time this topic crops up, it always ends in fucking bloodshed...

Anyway, preference just depends on a number of factors. As a black man, I generally prefer white women over black women, but would pick a beautiful Asian woman over them both, because they take priority. However If I see a hot girl of any race, I'm generally attracted to them, black white, or otherwise.

There does appear to be a preference for both men and women to, generally speaking, go out with the people of the same colour... There's nothing wrong with that, since nobody seems offended by it. Racism is only really serious when someone is offended or hurt from the opinion, and there's nothing you can do about sexual preference, after all... My ex was black, but before that I was always attracted to white/asian people, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Nope, there isn't. My assumption was always how and where you were raised. My city is a melting pot (North London) so you're going to be around every race imaginable here. So while I prefer one race over another, I sure as hell can't rule the others out, because some pretty girl will come along and change all that.

 

[Nemu]

That is such a ridiculous argument on your GF's part.

It's like being attracted to only brunettes but finding that you are attracted to a blond after a few conversations.

Sounds to me like she was just looking to argue. >>;

 

[Continuity]

we can't control who we're attracted to, its a product of environmental factors like the media and those around you when you're growing up and of hard wired predispositions.
For example its perfectly natural not to find someone who is deformed or diseased attractive, its been hard wired into us by 100's of thousand of years of evolution to select a healthy mate.. its not about picking on minorities.
Similarly the media when we were growing up bombarded us with a certain pattern of what is an ideal woman (visually) and kids soak this stuff up and it becomes a solid part of their (our) psyche.
I also do not find black women attractive, not even remotely, in fact looking at a black woman (no matter how conventionally attractive she is) has a similar effect on me as a cold shower. I'm not racist, not even slightly, in fact i'm not 100% white myself as my paternal great grandmother was Indian (my great grandfather was part of the administration of the British Raj and married a local) so i've even been on the receiving end of some racism as a kid - and perhaps thats part of the reason I don't find dark skin shades attractive, because I effectively learned as a kid to think (subconsciously) of it as a disadvantage.

 

[zombiesinc]

When our species was evolving, we stuck together in little groups which would have all looked similar and would have been naturally wary of any outsiders. That's what I meant by community.

Ahh. That might be kinda messed up for me, being part German, part Italian, part American Indian, part French-Canadian. I'm a mutt.

I would say he's more so referring to the collective unconscious, which is a region of the mind that contains all the memories from our earliest ancestors. It's universal. Our ancestors, which commonly lived in tribes, would be fearful, or anxious of other groups (especially those that physically looked different), and thus we may subconsciously still feel that to an extent.

 

[Stone Wera]

Well, I dated a really cute black girl so I have no idea. I really have no preference. My friends joke that I have dated every race, so next will be albino. Is albino white?

Ummm... In the way that bleached hair is considered blonde, I guess.

 

[Eggsnham]

That's a stupid argument...

You can't really help who you're attracted to.

And for the most part, guys are attracted to girls from the same race anyways, so it's kind of just calling all guys racist or something along those lines if you were to say it's racism to not be attracted to someone of a different race.

 

[Maze1125]

Sexual attraction is not a choice. It's like accusing a man of being a male chauvinist because he's gay.

Exactly.
It's not racist to only be sexually attracted to white people for exactly the same reason it's not sexist to only be sexually attracted to women.

 

[Kurokami]

I was having a discussion with my on-and-off girlfriend. We're currently off because she's going to be in another state for at least a year, and we don't want to deal with the long-distance relationship because we've both had bad experiences with them.

But anyway, I mentioned that I'm not initially sexually attracted to black women, but after getting to know someone better, I can be attracted to anyone. She accuses me of blatantly being racist and equates it to if I were an employer, I wouldn't give a black person the same chance as someone of any other race. I tried to explain my point, but because this was a conversation over the internet, neither of us could convey the true meaning of our words.

There's much from the conversation that I've left out here. I could go into further details upon request. I just don't see how my initial sexual attraction is the same as me being a racist, and this didn't seem to me to be a very big issue, but one of my major flaws is that I can't let a conversation just end, because I feel it has to have some sort of resolution.

I know this is hardly the kind of conversation to have at four in the morning, and I probably shouldn't have said anything. I just fear I may have lost my greatest friend forever.

I know we're probably both blowing the whole thing way out of proportion, but what are your views on the subject?

My penis is attracted to Asians and Caucasians, yes. I don't mind them socially but I can't stand black women sexually.

 

[AMMO Kid]

I'm not attracted to black women, but why do I have to be attracted to someone to not be showing some sort of preference against them? I don't agree with the people who say that you can't choose who you are attracted to though.