Sexual Relationships

[Kurokami]

Oh yes, another relationship thread. Though this one isn't seeking advice, its just for the sake of starting discussion.

I've been pondering a while now about the nature of relationships, and whilst I don't doubt that there are people (fuck this one person bs, sorry if you believe in that) out there who can meet my 'emotional needs', or have enough depth to keep my interested for a while, I have a hard time picturing myself being sexually loyal to one person (meaning that I wouldn't prefer having sex with another). That's not to say I'd prefer going out with someone different then my significant other, but sex with the one person often gets dull. (yes there are ways to 'spice things up', but most times you'll either be with a prude or find it too offensive or strange to ask) of course I doubt anyones capacity to trust their partner enough to allow them to have multiple sexual partners, particularly since love can fade and I believe in more then having just that 'one' person. I guess my question is, would you be able to trust a partner to having an open sexual relationship? would you trust yourself? How about if its a hooker? The chance of an intimate connection seems to drop as the sex is 'professional'.

I'm sure I didn't quite portray my thoughts here right, I'll get back to this with tweaking tools eventually. But do discuss your opinions on the positives and negatives. I don't know about women, but I'm pretty sure every man has the sexual temptation programmed into him, no matter how much he loves his 'other'. Perhaps being allowed to indulge in such sexual exploits can alleviate some strain on a relationship too.

 

[Smagmuck_]

I'm going to put this in short understandable terms, and a colored word if you get the referance; it's fun and it serves a pourpose.

 

[seious]

well if thats what you think just dont settle down but i really could see myself settling down with a nice girl because when your in love you dony have to rely on sex although it really helps with bordem

 

[Soxafloppin]

Sex is only a fraction of a relationship. But i can see where your coming from.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

if you think that sex with one person gets boring, maybe it's because your not as great of a lay as you think you are. as for spicing stuff up and there being issues with it, maybe it's the people you are having sex with or it's you that's the problem.

 

[thejadefalcon]

Oh yes, another relationship thread. Though this one isn't seeking advice, its just for the sake of starting discussion.

I've been pondering a while now about the nature of relationships, and whilst I don't doubt that there are people (fuck this one person bs, sorry if you believe in that) out there who can meet my 'emotional needs', or have enough depth to keep my interested for a while, I have a hard time picturing myself being sexually loyal to one person (meaning that I wouldn't prefer having sex with another). That's not to say I'd prefer going out with someone different then my significant other, but sex with the one person often gets dull. (yes there are ways to 'spice things up', but most times you'll either be with a prude or find it too offensive or strange to ask) of course I doubt anyones capacity to trust their partner enough to allow them to have multiple sexual partners, particularly since love can fade and I believe in more then having just that 'one' person. I guess my question is, would you be able to trust a partner to having an open sexual relationship? would you trust yourself? How about if its a hooker? The chance of an intimate connection seems to drop as the sex is 'professional'.

I'm sure I didn't quite portray my thoughts here right, I'll get back to this with tweaking tools eventually. But do discuss your opinions on the positives and negatives. I don't know about women, but I'm pretty sure every man has the sexual temptation programmed into him, no matter how much he loves his 'other'. Perhaps being allowed to indulge in such sexual exploits can alleviate some strain on a relationship too.

The one woman I'd consider having sex with has no issues speaking her mind, so thinking something's "strange" has no effect on her and she'll say it. Pity she lives half a world away...

 

[keybird]

Sex is only a fraction of a relationship. But i can see where your coming from.

A very large fraction, like 98%

 

[cleverlymadeup]

Sex is only a fraction of a relationship. But i can see where your coming from.

A very large fraction, like 98%

yeah i tried to explain to my friend that sex was important in a relationship. when you're grown up, no sex in a relationship means you're just friends. unless you're really old and stuff doesn't work anymore

 

[lizards]

do what i do 1 night stands

a very simple solution

 

[Frankydee]

I kind of get it.

Promiscuity between multiple individuals isn't necessarily something out of the ordinary. It just may be that "thing" you're into. I've got a friend who's that way and he's one of those who likes to explore his sexuality in ways I couldn't really imagine (sex hasn't really been that much of an interest to me) and he's found a partner who's comfortable with it.

But you have to keep in mind the sort of mentality that it takes to be completely 100% comfortable with your partner being that way. Because it's obvious that not everyone you meet is going to agree with what you're into. To some sex is more of a deep emotional expression whereas some it's viewed otherwise.

 

[cleverlymadeup]

Some things in life an erection can't solve. For everything, else, there's Viagra.

(That's a spoof on the Master Card commercials if you didn't get it)

no there is a point where it just doesn't work or it's too dangerous to work, ie mobility and bone issues and such

 

[Good morning blues]

(yes there are ways to 'spice things up', but most times you'll either be with a prude or find it too offensive or strange to ask)

If your sex is boring and you're with a prude, you're not sexually compatible and should break up. If your sex is boring and you find it too offensive and strange to ask about ways to spice it up, you are a coward who doesn't deserve the relationship you have. When people say that communication is important in a relationship, this is exactly the sort of thing they mean.

 

[scrambledeggs]

You sir are obscene, and I feel sorry for you. You're going to be very lonely.
If you ever fall in love, then maybe you'll understand what I experience each day.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

When you're in a life, you do not have sex for the sake of an erection. You do it for the intimacy. Love > Good sex.

 

[Marcus Dubious]

I'm going to put this in short understandable terms, and a colored word if you get the referance; it's fun and it serves a pourpose.

Is this meant be gibberish or just a badly phrased sentence?

 

[Smagmuck_]

You did, you don't really fancy your

I'm going to put this in short understandable terms, and a colored word if you get the referance; it's fun and it serves a pourpose.

Is this meant be gibberish or just a badly phrased sentence?

Uh, badly phrased sentence?

 

[Marcus Dubious]

You did, you don't really fancy your

I'm going to put this in short understandable terms, and a colored word if you get the referance; it's fun and it serves a pourpose.

Is this meant be gibberish or just a badly phrased sentence?

Uh, badly phrased sentence?

Fair cop LOL. I hit enter in the middle of editing, ignore my first gibberish, but what does that sentence mean?

 

[Valiance]

Yeah, because, like, I know I'd enjoy fucking other women for the sake of fucking other women.

Totally.

If monogamy isn't for you, find someone who agrees upon it. There's a lot of "swinger" relationships out there.

 

[The Maddest March Hare]

Penn & Teller did something on this:


The bit I'm talking about starts at 5:00 or so, but the whole thing is good really. A happily married couple who have a second sexual partner each but do not get emotionally attached to those other people in the way they are to their spouse.

In my opinion, there is a split between emotional and sexual attraction and relations, but only in some cases. I would never, ever make the differentiation without consulting my partner. If they would be hurt, I wouldn't do it. If it was mutually agreed, I might.

 

[hbomb]

I think I get what OP is saying.

The largest issue is because sex and dating has become something ingrained upon us by our forefathers (and their predecessors forced it upon them, too). People forget that love - and marriage in the same way - is not something humans are born capable of. This is something we are trained to anticipate from the moment we see anyone kiss ever.
Sex has been swept underneath the carpet. It's expected to be privately held between oneself and one's partner - and if you don't have a partner, you're fucked, pun not intentional. So while love - a government approved, Disney advocated, universally recognized emotion - is something people like scrambledeggs look down on each people for, sex - the only way for our species to survive - has become something you CANNOT talk about under any circumstances except in sex ed, and though there's no punishment people will call you depraved. In conclusion, I agree with OP except in his last sentence, because sexuality is present differently in individuals and you can't rationalise that to "everyone wants sex."

An additional little something I'd like to share is that this sort of stigma against sexual conversation in public isn't in place for homosexuals. I think this is because people have only recently learned to tolerate gays, and in giving them the berth they deserve they avoid 'cutting them down to size' for talking about sex. I think this shows how it's not detrimental to talk about sex in public.