Sexuality; Double Standards
- Thread starter Kakashi on crack
- Start date
Recommended Videos
Really? I'd say the double standard is rather in how sexuality is perceived. Men are more often than not considered as "real men" for "scoring", whereas women are considered "sluts" if they take a couple of men to bed.Kakashi on crack said:
In the end, I think it's a ll a matter of culture and what you're comfortable with. I can behave in a certain way, but if other people want to behave differently and are happy with it, then by all means, go for it, says I.
Edit: Also, if I might add my two cents, I'm a woman, and by no means was I told as I was growing up (and even later) that I should "explore my sexuality", quite the contrary. Judeo-Christian taboos and all that jazz.
I have been living in Australia since the age of thirteen.
In that time, I have become accustomed to the idea that any statement or proposal by a man to a woman, say "uhm, what are you doing for lunch?" or "wanna go get a coffee?" will be construed as being 'creepy', 'sexist hornbag' 'sexual harassment I'll report you' etc. This is a completely paranoid, unrealistic construct.
I have had one 7 year long relationship with a woman in my twenties.
Clearly I have an extreme lack of self confidence when it comes to the opposite sex. Perhaps that came through being raised as a fatherless bastard by a feminist mother incapable of long-term relationships. Experiences that others would shrug off would affect me deeply. I'm overly sensitive and prone to drug abuse, simple in an effort to tone down the painful intensity of experience to a level I can handle. Even pleasurable sensations are painfully intense.
I have come to accept that the way I am. I have no desire to have a family, and even if I never had another partner for the rest of my life, that's OK too, I reject the idea that because I am a man, I MUST have a woman or I'm a loser. If it happens, it happens.
As for the double standard, like one of the early posts pointed out, at the beginning of the 20th century, women were expected to be completely passive and man completely active in that regard. I think with the breakdown of first the extended family, then the nuclear family (50%+ divorce rate) women are free to ditch their partner when they imagine a better alternative. (another partner, or sole parent, or bachelorette, or lesbian etc)
There's actually a very good reason for women to do the courting, rather than the men: Women are afraid of being raped -- men are afraid of being rejected. So if men were more passive in courtship behaviour and played it cool, and women more pro-active, perhaps women would feel safer? Would they actually BE safer?
I don't know.
In that time, I have become accustomed to the idea that any statement or proposal by a man to a woman, say "uhm, what are you doing for lunch?" or "wanna go get a coffee?" will be construed as being 'creepy', 'sexist hornbag' 'sexual harassment I'll report you' etc. This is a completely paranoid, unrealistic construct.
I have had one 7 year long relationship with a woman in my twenties.
Clearly I have an extreme lack of self confidence when it comes to the opposite sex. Perhaps that came through being raised as a fatherless bastard by a feminist mother incapable of long-term relationships. Experiences that others would shrug off would affect me deeply. I'm overly sensitive and prone to drug abuse, simple in an effort to tone down the painful intensity of experience to a level I can handle. Even pleasurable sensations are painfully intense.
I have come to accept that the way I am. I have no desire to have a family, and even if I never had another partner for the rest of my life, that's OK too, I reject the idea that because I am a man, I MUST have a woman or I'm a loser. If it happens, it happens.
As for the double standard, like one of the early posts pointed out, at the beginning of the 20th century, women were expected to be completely passive and man completely active in that regard. I think with the breakdown of first the extended family, then the nuclear family (50%+ divorce rate) women are free to ditch their partner when they imagine a better alternative. (another partner, or sole parent, or bachelorette, or lesbian etc)
There's actually a very good reason for women to do the courting, rather than the men: Women are afraid of being raped -- men are afraid of being rejected. So if men were more passive in courtship behaviour and played it cool, and women more pro-active, perhaps women would feel safer? Would they actually BE safer?
I don't know.
Really!? I've never heard anyone tell a male to go out and bang another dude so that they can 'explore' their sexuality. I've never heard the equivalent said to a woman, but it seems that for women it is just something that people don't say, whereas for men it is "Ew! Sex with another man is icky! *wave hands in childish disgust* Eeeewww!" ... well actually it goes further than that, as the hand-waving, icky-calling descends into questioning a guy's masculinity for sleeping with another guy.Kahunaburger said:
So you think we should engage in mass genital mutilation just to give some kind of validation to your self-pity? Hm, sounds like a good idea...RAKtheUndead said:
That's because a lot of men are quite good at keeping it out of their pants, it's society's standard for men to be seed spreading mammals, it always has been.
However for women they've been the ones in the kitchen looking after their hunters whilst wearing chastity belts. Women aren't "allowed" to be sexually adventurous lest she be called a whore.
If a man puts notches on his bed post, he's a hero. If a woman does it, she's a disgusting slut.
I think both should be allowed to explore and enjoy their sexuality. It is ones own. As long as what happens is between 2/3/4/infinite consenting adults, who is anyone to label them "Whore/s".
However for women they've been the ones in the kitchen looking after their hunters whilst wearing chastity belts. Women aren't "allowed" to be sexually adventurous lest she be called a whore.
If a man puts notches on his bed post, he's a hero. If a woman does it, she's a disgusting slut.
I think both should be allowed to explore and enjoy their sexuality. It is ones own. As long as what happens is between 2/3/4/infinite consenting adults, who is anyone to label them "Whore/s".
No kidding. Really, honestly, it's impossible to not be a little sexist. Because both genders actually are different. You can't honestly deny the differences, and therefore think of men and women differently.BGH122 said:
I think there's a problem in the phrase 'explore their sexuality' Since for the majority of human history man have been sort of given the construct of sex as their own and women were not allowed to have it both sides (apologies for that oversimplification) both sides have been stunted in their development. Women are still judged harshly for having a healthy and varied sexuality. This is silly in this day and age, admittedly, but there are negative ramifications on both sides here. If a women, in college say, decides to explore her sexuality and buys her self a sex toy does any one bat an eye? No, and this is excellent progress! She has every right and it's generally seen as healthy and a good idea for future partners as well. Now what about the guy, same scenario. He's likely to be seen as a pervert. He bought a flesh light? Oh, Heavens! What a loser!
Now if that guy goes out and gets a girl. 'Bangs her' and leaves not even knowing her name he's seen as a 'stud' or 'pimp.' If we return to that initial girl with the toy. If she was the girl in question that thought our man was worth a tussle and did so she'd have to endure the 'walk of shame' from his dorm. Likely she will be jeered at by his friends as she leaves the dorm. Double standards on both sides.
Women are finally getting to explore their sexuality but men are slowly realizing that we haven't. We were given the keys to the car (here meaning the right to enjoy sex) but never told how to drive the damned thing.
If you don't quite see my point consider this. If that girl experiments with another girl in college how does that affect your opinion of her? What if that boy experiments with another boy? What do you think of him? And how do you think society would respond to both of them?
Double standards hurt us all.
Now if that guy goes out and gets a girl. 'Bangs her' and leaves not even knowing her name he's seen as a 'stud' or 'pimp.' If we return to that initial girl with the toy. If she was the girl in question that thought our man was worth a tussle and did so she'd have to endure the 'walk of shame' from his dorm. Likely she will be jeered at by his friends as she leaves the dorm. Double standards on both sides.
Women are finally getting to explore their sexuality but men are slowly realizing that we haven't. We were given the keys to the car (here meaning the right to enjoy sex) but never told how to drive the damned thing.
If you don't quite see my point consider this. If that girl experiments with another girl in college how does that affect your opinion of her? What if that boy experiments with another boy? What do you think of him? And how do you think society would respond to both of them?
Double standards hurt us all.
Not the same at all, he was joking that this was what all truck drivers did. (in addition to getting a tan on just one arm), the butt of the joke was the average lorry driver, not the murdered prostitutes.thaluikhain said:
He never implied that the truck driver was funny for doing this, and many of those who complained were the family of truck drivers, and they complained that it was insulting to them (which it was), one driver's actions does not reflect every driver's actions.
I don't like girls who go flauting their lack of clothing. I like girls who wear pants and shirts.
So really, it's an image thing.
So really, it's an image thing.