Since when was Being a Man Unattractive?
- Thread starter OneBig Man
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To WAY oversimplify it. My lady, came for the interest in me, stays for me being a nice bloke.
You DO need some sort of spark of interest, but that doesn't mean you have to be a total wanker.
There are other ways of being interesting.
Also, I find it tedious when guys claim to be gentlemen. If you are a gentleman, you don't need to convince anyone that you are, especially not yourself.
You DO need some sort of spark of interest, but that doesn't mean you have to be a total wanker.
There are other ways of being interesting.
Also, I find it tedious when guys claim to be gentlemen. If you are a gentleman, you don't need to convince anyone that you are, especially not yourself.
Chivarly isin't dead.
It's just dying slowly in a corner.
Personally i blame t3h rap music, probably it's not 'ghetto' or 'dirty' to hold the door open for little old ladys.
(Is only half serious about the rap music part.)
It's just dying slowly in a corner.
Personally i blame t3h rap music, probably it's not 'ghetto' or 'dirty' to hold the door open for little old ladys.
(Is only half serious about the rap music part.)
I was raised with chivalry in mind and still hold to it to this day. My girlfriend is absolutely fantastic, so clearly there are still some women that appreciate what we do. It's not like it was purely the chivalry that got her attention, but there's a certain romantic element in being a gentleman and that can go a long way. It'll never take you to the finish line though, so you better be prepared to back it up by being a fun person to be with. If a girl can't feel relaxed and enjoy herself around you, then she's never going to want to stay with you.
I feel you, I was dating my best friend (who is female just to clarify)and I did everything for her but she dropped me to date one of my other friends who is a complete dick. But don't judge people for taking time on their hair, I spend an hour a day straightening my hair but that doesn't make me a dick!
I know your pain. I know a girl that I am crazy for. I do the chivalrous thing, including walking her home when it's late at night and she teases me about it. We get along great and all, but she shot me down when I asked her out.OneBig Man said:
When some creep at a bar asked her out she went out with him for two weeks and all he did was try to get into her pants.
I can relate. It seems that anyone born with some fucking sense is frowned upon. I went to to one of my teammates rooms and he had the gall to ask me "why don't you just open the door and come in?" Like goddamn, I knock and I'm catching shit for that?!
Alas, people. How I hate them.
Addendum: I noticed I just answered the question in a general sense. But still, it goes without saying; anyone with any bit of manners is overshadowed by jack-monkeys with skintight pants hanging off their asses and no remote concept of proper English. Can't even get a simple thank you for holding the door open for someone, sincere or otherwise. It's a shame, really.
Alas, people. How I hate them.
Addendum: I noticed I just answered the question in a general sense. But still, it goes without saying; anyone with any bit of manners is overshadowed by jack-monkeys with skintight pants hanging off their asses and no remote concept of proper English. Can't even get a simple thank you for holding the door open for someone, sincere or otherwise. It's a shame, really.
This is exactly my problem. I'm actually a nice guy, but a girl I was trying to get to notice me and trust me for two years lets me pour my heart out to her. She tells me she wants us to finish college before getting into a relationship and that she did like me. A couple of days later, she meets someone and starts seeing him without telling anyone. She then compared me to the jerks she went out with before (she called me "just another guy") just trying to get into her pants and treating her badly. I really wish I could be taken seriously sometimes...OneBig Man said:
My wife explained it that (until they're interested in marriage) girls are looking for interesting guys that they won't feel too bad about when the dude gets boring and they break up. The only time nice guys are a turn-on is when they're hunting for a permanent partner.
My advice is to be a self-centered tool and get whatever you can while the getting's good while you're under 30, just remember your manners so you can flash 'em every now and then if you think a relationship should go somewhere serious.
My advice is to be a self-centered tool and get whatever you can while the getting's good while you're under 30, just remember your manners so you can flash 'em every now and then if you think a relationship should go somewhere serious.
Chivalry isn't dead, far from it.Omikron009 said:
What it is though is both predictable and boring, and if you expect the majority of females (or males for that matter) before their 30's/40's to actually want that you are, unfortunately, sorely mistaken.
Very likely that she was just trying to justify her lying to herself, to make herself feel better; at your expense. Don't feel bad for yourself, she obviously sees your relationship as strong and dependable enough to treat you like garbage. What I would do would be to get the hell away from her so she can learn that treating people like that is NOT acceptable.JazzCP said:
I totally understand what you mean, good guys are not needed in this decade... let's hope for the next one to be more open-minded.OneBig Man said:
What make you think people should be rewarded for having good manners?Archemetis said:
For me being polite isn't about being given a pat on the head, it's just about being who I am.
I wasn't brought up to be chivalrous, I was brought up be a polite person and respect everyone. The difference? When I was out with my friend we spilled coke on the table and I insisted that we cleaned up. He didn't do much until one of the waitress came and he was all over the table with a tissue cleaning. When she went off my friend stopped cleaning and went to the toilet to wash his hand. I however stayed there to keep cleaning because regardless of who was going to clean it up it was our responsibility. My friend is chivalrous but he really only uses it as an excuse to do favors for women without it seeming like there is some ulterior motive. I do things because I think its the right thing to do, and just because you pay someone for a service it doesn't mean they're your lap dog for the next hour or so. (Yeah I know this expression doesn't work if you apply it to a prostitute)
I'm definitely not saying that because I'm a generally polite person I score a lot of girls, its most definitely wrong since I've only had one for about 4months when I was 16 (Currently 19 if you must know). But I personally never complain about saying things like "women don't like the nice guys!" I looked at flaws in myself and I eventually realise that I have serious self-esteem issues of my own, surely it would be nice for people to love me for my flaws but shouldn't you also want to improve yourself as well? I mean saying that Mrs./Mr. perfect is going to love me for who I am is quite passive, you got to be active in trying to improve yourself it shows you care about who you are. (When I mean improve I also definitely don't mean become a fashion victim or following pop culture, sheep follow without reason, I believe humans should be smarter than that, or are we just all as dumb as sheep?)
Some people use chivalry and nice as an excuse, but if you're a looser then you're still going to be a chivalrous loser or a nice looser, there has to be other things going for you.
I do admit there are a fair bit of looser assholes who have little going for them that get a lot of action, but if you're just jealous of the fact that they have more sex than you then you should probably have to re-look your priorities since you're really just flexing your frustrated libido.
I'm definitely not saying that because I'm a generally polite person I score a lot of girls, its most definitely wrong since I've only had one for about 4months when I was 16 (Currently 19 if you must know). But I personally never complain about saying things like "women don't like the nice guys!" I looked at flaws in myself and I eventually realise that I have serious self-esteem issues of my own, surely it would be nice for people to love me for my flaws but shouldn't you also want to improve yourself as well? I mean saying that Mrs./Mr. perfect is going to love me for who I am is quite passive, you got to be active in trying to improve yourself it shows you care about who you are. (When I mean improve I also definitely don't mean become a fashion victim or following pop culture, sheep follow without reason, I believe humans should be smarter than that, or are we just all as dumb as sheep?)
Some people use chivalry and nice as an excuse, but if you're a looser then you're still going to be a chivalrous loser or a nice looser, there has to be other things going for you.
I do admit there are a fair bit of looser assholes who have little going for them that get a lot of action, but if you're just jealous of the fact that they have more sex than you then you should probably have to re-look your priorities since you're really just flexing your frustrated libido.