Since when was Being a Man Unattractive?

[Julianking93]

Hey I take offense to that!

I'm a peace loving hippie who thinks he's cool yet I'm always made fun of and I've only had 1 girlfriend.

As for your question, I don't know.

I see it all the time. Girls who go out with men who look like gorillas and treat them like shit.

But that's just it, they're girls. Little stupid teenage girls who don't know what they want so they go out with the popular kid.

 

[jasoncyrus]

"When a woman wrongs you, you may not strike her in anger. You are, however, permitted to reflect on the fact that with each passing day, she grows older. You are avenged 365 times a year."

In all seriousness, stick to your guns. Since you were raised to be chivalrous, it is clearly part of who you are. Don't give up who you are, just because not everybody appreciates chivalry. In the end, even if you don't meet a girl who specifically values chivalry, you might meet one who values a guy who is himself, and doesn't try to be something he's not.

Uhhh wow, thats like saying not to give up Sharia law because you were raised that way. Also who in there right mind just stands there and lets someone smack them? Unless they are significantly weaker and smaller then it just doesnt make sense. If she's the same size as you just smack her right back. You deserve the same respect as anyone...or at the very least get her arrested.

 

[Aerodyamic]

I hold doors whenever I am reasonably able to do so, regardless of my current armful (or lack thereof). If I've yet to be introduced to a person, I refer to them in a polte unfamiliar pronoun (sir, miss or ma'am). I'm never called a douchebag or an asshole (that I'm aware of), but I could still dip my candle steadily, if I had the inclination and was single. I attribute this entirely to what my girlfriend calls being a 'walking testosterone cloud', and luckily, being largely oblivious to it; my pheromones are apparently those of an alpha-male, but I still have relatively good manners, and I don't walk around being a jerk.

I've actually been called a chauvinist for daring to hold a door for a woman, even though I held the door for several people, because the woman in question felt she was completely capable of opening it, and she'd apparently completely failed to recognize the inherent politeness in my action. Ironically, once I firmly stamped on the urge to slam the door in her face, we had a remarkably coherent conversation about it, and she conceded that I had been jumped on for holding the door for her first... because she was the first approaching individual.

Anyways, if you're confident, throw in some boderline 'naughty/appreciative smiles' (it used to be called it 'a knowing smirk'), learn a few dance moves, and remain polite (but not aloof), women will start to treat you as something other than a door-holding welcome-mat.

 

[MGlBlaze]

Chivalry, as the cliche says, is dead. Seriously.

It is only dead because 98% of the world are assholes. A person needs to live by their own standards and stand on their own morals. Too many problems happen and are perpetuated by the human desire to 'fit in', 'follow the crowd' and 'follow the precieved authority figures'.

I respect those who do their best to respect others. No-one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. What separates people into two main groups for me goes thus;
Those who acknowledge they are flawed and try their best to overcome those flaws regardless of what anyone says otherwise, and those that do not.

Of course if you ask me, it should apply equally across both genders, but that's another side.

OP: Those women are not worth your time or energy. They are either too shallow, too stupid or too blindly following every other shallow moron to realise the value of simply being a good person.

Hey I take offense to that!

I'm a peace loving hippie who thinks he's cool yet I'm always made fun of and I've only had 1 girlfriend.

As for your question, I don't know.

I see it all the time. Girls who go out with men who look like gorillas and treat them like shit.

But that's just it, they're girls. Little stupid teenage girls who don't know what they want so they go out with the popular kid.

Yeah, this is pretty much what I meant when I said "Too many problems happen and are perpetuated by the human desire to 'fit in', 'follow the crowd' and 'follow the precieved authority figures'.". What I find truly mind-boggeling is how people like that became popular in the first place.

'normal' human society is seriousely screwed up sometimes.

 

[hypothetical fact]

The Nice Guy (tm) uses the guise of friendship in order to get close to women then complains when they won't sleep with him because he is a friend. It's that kind of misrepresentation of intentions that pisses us off. More information here [http://www.heartlessbitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml].

I so need to send that link to a friend of mine.
We spent most the weekend trading messages on FB. Basically me ensuring him that life will get better, n im moaning he's unlucky in love.
He's pretty self obsessed, he never once asked how I was. So till doesn't know I'm on crutches, and when he does find out, he'll do that passive aggressive thing he does "you should have told me, I feel so bad now" then not shut up about how bad it makes him feel.

I know I enable him, I should say "grow a pair" but I just don't have the heart.

Reread your post and realise that everyone is self serving first.

 

[CouchCommando]

Seriously, the debate you've just entered has been going on for centuries now, eavesdrop on some older guys conversations about women some time, I'm sure you'll start to pick up the trend, and its sure as shit no new thing, people in the past just hid things a lot better is all really.
And think about this, if most girls are dotted on and waited upon by their family is that really what they are looking for?
Is the emo/hippie/thug wannabe whatever, screwed up or is he just playing the game a bit harder than you? is he going to tell the ladies the chivalrous plain old truth or is he going to lie thru his teeth and sell them the dream of the moon?
At the end of the day do you want to end up with one of these girls that are allowing themselves to be duped by such an age old act?
Don't sell yourself short, and just get on with your own life instead of watching everyone else live theirs, play your own tune how you see fit and you'll eventually meet your own kind of calibre partner.
And a word of warning, don't become the hand bag boy, or the male friend confidant of any lady your attracted to, make your thoughts perfectly clear, as you get older you will have more finese from whatever uncomfortable experiences you may have early on.

 

[rossatdi]

I wish I was born at least 2 generations ago.

As to your general question - because you're young and they are young. Young people choose to rebel from the established safeness of adulthood - hence the asshole attraction effect. (Think of it like mild Stockholm Syndrome - if you treat people like shit they might end up revering you).

As to the quoted text? I'm not sure about you but WWII, Korea and Vietnam didn't seem that fun to me. People ain't never had it so good - its time you younguns remembered that.

 

[Space Cowgirl]

Chivalry really is dead nowadays. I, as a female, really appreciate your efforts, if it makes you feel any better. But yeah, I do see this happen a lot, females leaving genuinely good guys for arseholes.

 

[MorsePacific]

I've noticed this exact problem, along with something else. The girls who don't appreciate it aren't worth your time, and the ones who do always are.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

I so need to send that link to a friend of mine.
We spent most the weekend trading messages on FB. Basically me ensuring him that life will get better, n im moaning he's unlucky in love.
He's pretty self obsessed, he never once asked how I was. So till doesn't know I'm on crutches, and when he does find out, he'll do that passive aggressive thing he does "you should have told me, I feel so bad now" then not shut up about how bad it makes him feel.

I know I enable him, I should say "grow a pair" but I just don't have the heart.

Reread your post and realise that everyone is self serving first.

Care to elaborate?

 

[loremazd]

Labyrinth has the right idea.

It doesn't matter if you're a nice guy or an asshole, confidence in yourself and loving yourself are the main attractors. I used to be a nice guy, would glom onto girls and take care of them and do everything to make them feel special in the hopes that they would in turn make me like myself because they liked me.

Now, i'm just a nice person. I can deal with breakups much better than I used to, because I dont shift the blame to the woman and have the confidence in myself to know that there are many fish in the sea, and they're worth looking for and getting to know. I also am comfortable with having female friends with no strings attached or expectations.

Essentially, you're not a nice person if being respectful to women translates to them owing you something.Because the truth of the matter is you're no different from that douchebag in the bar who buys girls drinks just to wink at them.

 

[Plurralbles]

You're right. The problem is clearly with everyone else in the world except you.

There's something to that. In reality those guys are usually not dickheads to women and have a lot of friends that act as a blind over his dickheadedness to the likes of you.


And anyone can hold a door. To talk to her though...

Oh and yes, it does matter your appearance. The problem that you are over looking is that women just want to get into HIS pants as well.

 

[Indecizion]

What happened to chivalry? During my whole childhood my dad taught me to be respectful to women. I would open doors for them, I wouldn't cuss in front of them, I would help them when they needed it. Hell the only fight I ever got into was beacuse I saw some dude hit a girl.

Yet after everything I do, I'm still left for the douchebag whose only goal is to get in her pants? I see it all the time. It is always some thug or some hippie/emo whatever who thinks he cool. I mean it seems that you have to spend over 20 minutes each day on your hair in order to get noticed anymore.

I wish I was born at least 2 generations ago.


EDIT:

Just to be clear, I don't assume every girl in the world should love me. All I am asking is why does it seem like girls like a-holes instead of decent people.

Man you read my mind, im chivalrous im always respectful to women, yet it seems that of all my friends im one of the only ones not to be able to get a gf, alot of my friends are douche bags but they all get really attractive women who seem to enjoy being treated like crap, i just dont get it, meh i just guess we were born a few decades too late. And yeah the only fight ive ever been in was when one of my female friends was sexualy assaulted and i actualy went out of my way to find the guy.

 

[DTWolfwood]

Women date the badass/Emo but they marry the real man. But you have to be out there fishing too buddy, women don't just fall on your lap.

The reason you see what you see is because the assholes are better at the pickup. SO work on your pickup game and your in

 

[Noone From Nowhere]

Being a Man started being unattractive the moment that Lesbians evolved.
Now to respond to what was actually said in the "Original" Post with a few questions of my own.
Maybe women would respond better to you if you really operated under the Code of Chivalry rather than its evil doppelganger which sees men offer their services as a personal assistant who do favors for women to recieve payment in affection and/or sexual favors? Treat all civil individuals with equal respect to demonstrate how genuine your esteem for others is,regardless of gender, creed,racenationality or comportment...that includes Hippies and 'Emos'.
False kind-heartedness is more despicable than being an honest knave for that knave is guiless in his lack of couth where as you are duplicitous about your actions, good sir. (You might as well talk the talk if you're going to walk the walk!)

I also have another supposition for you. What if you are giving off signals or behaving in such a way with women that sabotages any attempts to get to know them better...maybe complaining about them to total strangers or something to that effect...that guarantees that you will be alone and miserable so you can continue to have something to complain to other men about, just like those stereotypical women who so many posters seem to be talking about whining and moaning to their friends about men?

 

[DracoSuave]

What happened to chivalry? During my whole childhood my dad taught me to be respectful to women. I would open doors for them, I wouldn't cuss in front of them, I would help them when they needed it. Hell the only fight I ever got into was beacuse I saw some dude hit a girl.

Yet after everything I do, I'm still left for the douchebag whose only goal is to get in her pants? I see it all the time. It is always some thug or some hippie/emo whatever who thinks he cool. I mean it seems that you have to spend over 20 minutes each day on your hair in order to get noticed anymore.

I wish I was born at least 2 generations ago.


EDIT:

Just to be clear, I don't assume every girl in the world should love me. All I am asking is why does it seem like girls like a-holes instead of decent people.

Nice guy syndrome.

Real nice guys don't finish last. They just know how to let the woman open the door for them. The trick is to be nice and sweet without being patronizing or a push over.

 

[TotallyFake]

Chivalry was raped, brutally murdered, and abandoned in a ditch some time ago.

And nothing of value was lost.

A lot was lost if you happen to be a misogynist.

Fixed that for you. Treat people politely and with respect, not just ladies.

 

[AWAR]

I feel you, I feel you im just like you...Or better i was because i realised its not worth it.

 

[Zildjin81]

I wish I was born at least 2 generations ago.

Story of my life.

OT: Girls at that age are pretty shallow, they may just not be physically into you.

 

[DracoSuave]

Being a Man started being unattractive the moment that Lesbians evolved.
Now to respond to what was actually said in the "Original" Post with a few questions of my own.
Maybe women would respond better to you if you really operated under the Code of Chivalry rather than its evil doppelganger which sees men offer their services as a personal assistant who do favors for women to recieve payment in affection and/or sexual favors? Treat all civil individuals with equal respect to demonstrate how genuine your esteem for others is,regardless of gender, creed,racenationality or comportment...that includes Hippies and 'Emos'.
False kind-heartedness is more despicable than being an honest knave for that knave is guiless in his lack of couth where as you are duplicitous about your actions, good sir. (You might as well talk the talk if you're going to walk the walk!)

I also have another supposition for you. What if you are giving off signals or behaving in such a way with women that sabotages any attempts to get to know them better...maybe complaining about them to total strangers or something to that effect...that guarantees that you will be alone and miserable so you can continue to have something to complain to other men about, just like those stereotypical women who so many posters seem to be talking about whining and moaning to their friends about men?

Yes, good sirrah, tell the gospel of truth!