Skills/abilities that you can't put on your CV/resume.

[himemiya1650]

-I'm really good with excel because of having to do financial and material calculations because of EVE
-I learned speculation because of EVE
-Basically I learned more administrative and HR skills because of EVE than in my actual coop.

 

[PhoenixBlade]

Well maybe the orgy skill might find you a job

-I will always win at strip poker, because i enjoy being nude.
-I can get 3 women to agree to an orgy. ((I did it once, im sure i can do it again))
-I can play videogames, get dressed, and make breakfast all at once. ((What you know bout multitasking Hater?))
-I know what a RS NAND Latch is and i know how to use them.
-Im the best troll this side of Detroit, Michigan.
-I can beat TES:Morrowind without cheats in less then 20 minutes.

Id say those are pretty good skills. But none of them will land me a job.....

Well maybe the orgy skills might find you a job... maybe ... under very slight circumstances...

Ok, it wont find me a "Legal" job with these skills then.

And id rather not go to jail for, "30 counts of prostitution, 3 counts of promoting prostitution, and 10 counts of sound violation". ((I live in a townhouse, so my nearby neighbors might complain about the noises))

You wont have to consider such action if you have such a business partner as me, you could be a world class gigolo and i could be you manager just think of the possibilitys!!! The women, The money, The GAMES!!!!!

 

[4173]

I'm good at keeping chairs from floating away.

 

[Princess Rose]

Ok so i recently had to re-type my CV (thats curiculum vitae or "resume" to the yanks) and got around to listing my key skills, ie: communication, IT and networking, word, excel, first aid, yadda yadda. However i then thought a bit more and was faced with a problem.....i have "acquired" several skills that i cant really put on a CV.

So escapists, what skills do you have that future/current employers might not wish to know about?

My many and varied skills in the bedroom.
My expertize at Game Mastery.
My excellent Burrito recipe.
My even better Fajita recipe.
My ability to perform a vibrato.
That's musical term, not a sexual term.
Although I also do a sexual version that I've been told is very pleasing, but that was covered by my first item.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

If you give me the name of a cartoon/video game voice actor, I can name what other roles they played (though I don't know the name/role of every voice actor...)

 

[Sack of Cheese]

I can move my ears.

 

[Tsaba]

people skills
understanding of chemistry that involves Styrofoam
heavy vehicle operator
low profile camping trips
sense of direction
I work well, when in a group of four

 

[mitchell271]

You can put almost anything that involves large amounts of time on a CV (including gaming stuff). In today's day and age, you can expect everyone to have at least played video games before (and a good chunk of employers are somewhat devoted players) so saying, "I have a lvl 85 Human Paladin in WoW," shows commitment, reflexes and ability to work as a team. Just beware the third possibility... http://vggal.thewebcomic.com/

OT: I can rock climb, play paintball (teamwork!), play through any scenario in L4D2 on realistic (teamwork!), I'm great a shooters (reflexes!), I 100%'d Super Meat Boy (commitment!), and I have a black-belt in Karate so I beat most people up (commitment!).

 

[shadyh8er]

I can eat an entire, large, cheese pizza from Dominoes. That garlic in the crust is just...mmmmmmm! ^_^

 

[Shock and Awe]

Im a damn good liar, good at pulling pranks and leading people down incorrect roads. Basically I have many qualities seen as highly negative in society.(and rightly so)

 

[Booze Zombie]

Ejaculating repeatedly, without issue. Unless I was applying to be a porn star, this is not something an employer wants to know!

 

[kouriichi]

Well maybe the orgy skill might find you a job

-I will always win at strip poker, because i enjoy being nude.
-I can get 3 women to agree to an orgy. ((I did it once, im sure i can do it again))
-I can play videogames, get dressed, and make breakfast all at once. ((What you know bout multitasking Hater?))
-I know what a RS NAND Latch is and i know how to use them.
-Im the best troll this side of Detroit, Michigan.
-I can beat TES:Morrowind without cheats in less then 20 minutes.

Id say those are pretty good skills. But none of them will land me a job.....

Well maybe the orgy skills might find you a job... maybe ... under very slight circumstances...

Ok, it wont find me a "Legal" job with these skills then.

And id rather not go to jail for, "30 counts of prostitution, 3 counts of promoting prostitution, and 10 counts of sound violation". ((I live in a townhouse, so my nearby neighbors might complain about the noises))

You wont have to consider such action if you have such a business partner as me, you could be a world class gigolo and i could be you manager just think of the possibilitys!!! The women, The money, The GAMES!!!!!

The STDS, and my wife both of which turn me off from that life sadly.
But internet porn? Thats a career i can get into!

 

[Nargleblarg]

A beyond obsessive knowledge of Star Wars lore
Ability to turn any situation or conversation awkward in one sentence
Can debate (successfully) over technologies that will never exist
Ability to remain undetected especially in social situations whenever I wish
Can go up to 30 hours without eating (video games help)
Can go days without knowing what the date and/or day of the week it is (see above)
Ability to burn instead of tan in sunlight

 

[superstringz]

I can get around most forms of security if I can get my hands on the computer. And as soon as I get a soldering gun I am totally testing out a method of hacking the supposedly unhackable IBM BIOS. (I own the computer in question, so no laws are being broken. I just like screwing with computers)

 

[PhoenixBlade]

Well maybe the orgy skill might find you a job

-I will always win at strip poker, because i enjoy being nude.
-I can get 3 women to agree to an orgy. ((I did it once, im sure i can do it again))
-I can play videogames, get dressed, and make breakfast all at once. ((What you know bout multitasking Hater?))
-I know what a RS NAND Latch is and i know how to use them.
-Im the best troll this side of Detroit, Michigan.
-I can beat TES:Morrowind without cheats in less then 20 minutes.

Id say those are pretty good skills. But none of them will land me a job.....

Well maybe the orgy skills might find you a job... maybe ... under very slight circumstances...

Ok, it wont find me a "Legal" job with these skills then.

And id rather not go to jail for, "30 counts of prostitution, 3 counts of promoting prostitution, and 10 counts of sound violation". ((I live in a townhouse, so my nearby neighbors might complain about the noises))

You wont have to consider such action if you have such a business partner as me, you could be a world class gigolo and i could be you manager just think of the possibilitys!!! The women, The money, The GAMES!!!!!

The STDS, and my wife both of which turn me off from that life sadly.
But internet porn? Thats a career i can get into!

Well due to your wife you would be limited to masturbation ... unless she's willing to get involved, in which case let the money roll in!

 

[WolfThomas]

My former housemate had been a rifleman in the Australian army, he actually put all the stuff he was army qualified on his CV, he had some sort of sheet/certificate he'd been given from the army that listed weapons and vehicles and whether he was competent or proficient with them.

 

[LeafofStone]

I believe this guy pretty much says everything perfectly for this thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghxnKDBadSk

David o'Doherty what would we do without you?

 

[FreakSheet]

I can procrastinate like no one's business.

 

[Archangel768]

I have a very particular set of skills. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

In before someone else guesses this is a quote from Taken.

OT: None, I am skill less